User:Tractor

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 15:51, May 27, 2009 by 91.108.89.243 (talk)

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search

The Tractor or 'traor' as it is more commonly known is one of the key forms of trasport for the British Empire and inhabitants of the the West England Sea Farms. Developed in secret during the Coka Cola Globalisation Pact, the tractor is a behemoth craft of precisely 34 gears and a wheel diameter of 1/2 metre at the front and 2 metres on the left. The Specification for a tractor is incredibly precise and every year hundreds of designs are rejected by the Tractor Design Evaluative Committee (TDEC). Several companies have perfected the art of proper tractor making and the great tractor championship cup is currently in the hands of Mason Fergus, more commonly know as 'the red one'. Masons key competition is the green one, Jack Dee and the blue one, Purple Monkey. Tractors have a top speed of around 25 mph which shows their original purpose of holding up traffic to prevent reinforcements reaching the Tango forces during the pact; however they are now more commonly used by the social class known as 'Farmers'.

Farmers mainly live in the south and West regions of Englandshire in counties called Cornwall and Gloucestershire. There has been a bitter civil war between these areas which are vying for farmer diplomatic supremacy but currently Gloucestershire is winning since replacing its Jack Dee War Tractors with brand new Mason Fergus whilst Cornwall remains with the old Purple Monkeys.

Tractoring has gained poularity with all of the publicity of the war and more and more people have been buying them since the Queen of Englandshire Margret Thacher (or Maggie) announced in her Christmas Speech that she wanted a Golden Mason Fergus for her Birthday.


edit Recognising Tractors

Since their popularity many Englandshirians have been on the look out for tractors in their local area but have no idea what to look for. Apart from their unusual wheel sizes the key way to recognise tractors is by their control stations. A Tractor control station sits on the exact centre of the unit and is made of solid glass with the exception of the top. Within the Control Station there is a suptuous chair upon which a Knighted Tractor Controller(Farmer) will be seated. They will likely be wearing the Farmer Uniform universally recognised as dirty jeans and a checked shirt. They are unlikely to be touching the controls as Tractors can drive themselves. Tractors usually have a long stream of other aircraft behind them but providing you are not in this river it is important to cheer the tractor to keep it running.

Overall Tractors are transportation craft steeped in history and still a very popular war craft to this day. One of the most iconic things about England is the Tractor along with Tea and the Castle.

Personal tools
projects