User:Tooltroll/Denial of Biology Attack

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Those who have issues accepting the fact that human beings are just another animal, stewed in the crock-pot of evolution, with all the failings, foibles, neuroses, and necessities that come with the territory, are said to be suffering a Denial of Biology Attack.

Groups prone to DOBA

Theologians

Theologians were the first sector of the population to be generally afflicted with DOBA, and have been the primary carriers ever since. The theological type of DOBA is mainly a preoccupation with sex, which the theologians can't acccpt is controlled by instinctual drives. This has led to rampant overpopulation and famine in third-world countries afflicted with catholicism, which denies it's followers the use of birth-control.

The Moral Majority

A particularly virulent type of DOBA affects the so-called "moral majority" (a misnomer, since, they are, in fact, neither moral, nor a majority.)

Vegetarians

Vegetarians seem to think that eating meat is somehow wrong, despite the fact that half of the world feeds on the other half. It's not as if humans were the only species to eat meat, and there are irrefutable indications that we have evolved to require an omnivourous diet. . . Canine teeth, for one. I mean really! Humankind has not spent millions of years clawing it's way to the top of the food chain, only to become bloody herd animals. Fucking bleeding-hearts. . . shut up and eat a burger!

The vegetarian type of DOBA is treatable, usually by odor therapy: Vegetarians are exposed to the sweet, sweet smells of frying bacon, barbequeing steaks, turkey with the works, etc., until their biology re-asserts itself. However, it should be noted that long-term vegetarians are, by virtue of their diet, lip-smackin' tasty, and it is usually cheaper (and more enjoyable) to release them into the wild and hunt them for food. Mmmmmm. . . Cannibalicious!

Psychologists

Child Psychologists

The worst of a bad lot, mostly due to the fact that child psychology is one of the few sciences where conducting experiments on the general population is considered acceptable. This has, of course, led to the erosion of the educational system, the exponential increase of juvenile crime, and the general smart-assed, disrespectful attitude of today's youth.

Symptoms

Most commonly, sufferers will display an elitist, smug satisfaction that, by;

  • Behaving in a fashion detrimental the well-being of themselves, their offspring, and/or society at large; and/or
  • Believing in the patently illogical or irrational,

that they are somehow "better" than the rest of humanity, or nature as a whole.

Treatment

Some types of this condition are extremely resistant to treatment. Euthanasia is usually prescribed.

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