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Today's Featured Article - Colloquialism

Apprenticeship

Colloquialisms are, you know, a bunch of mumbo-jumbo words your everyday Johnny-come-lately uses when chewing the rag, and not cool for, like, formal speech or whatever. The crincum-crancum of the common tongue is mainly used during pow-wows or bull sessions when hanging out. The word colloquial originally was about the way we talk, where the prose marches to a different drummer than writing things down and all that sort of stuff. Throwing a curved ball however, the colloquial register is about free and easy language rather than, you know, the medium. The Dictionary shows colloquialisms with the abbreviation colloq. for geeks and bookworms.

By and large, colloquial language is standalone from run-of-the-mill formal speech or writing. The mixed bag of jibba-jabba tends to bubble to the surface, once the speaker has chilled out enough to pull his/her head out of her/his ass. Babblative chit-chat may contain a bucket load of slanguage, but for all intents and purposes, is not tied to hackneyed terms at all. Other examples of colloquial language use word mash and foul language, more often than not. A colloquial name is also the nickname punters use to peg a thing or person in the place of the real name. An inflated tractor tyre pulled behind a speedboat at a holiday resort and indeed the geezer driving it, could be refered to as a doughnut, or as Doughnut by both the tourists and the locals.

Colloquialisms are a bigger ball of wax than just pidgin speak used by kids, grunts, fish-heads or donkey-wallopers. In the main, colloquial language shakes and bakes words and terms that are commonly known and easily understood by speakers of the language worldwide: "See all, ear all, say nowt. Eat all, sup all, pay nowt. An' if th'ivver does owt for nowt, allus do it for thissen." for example. Slang is a posse of phat raps home-boys use to flex they's sickness, to be down with the rat packs. Slang can sound like a load of epizootics of the blowhole to your average Mondeo-Man, as — despite slang terms being a dime a dozen — they not part of standard English, dig? (more...)

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On this day...
March 1: National Grue Day
  • 64000000 BC - Gruegasauri roam the plains waiting for unsuspecting tourists.
  • 32 - Jesus gets eaten by a Grue. He then comes back from the dead, only to be eaten by another Grue.
  • 1349 - Jack the Ripper's antique collection of Mongolian archers features in Forbes Magazine. This, according to Tony Blair, "does not compute".
  • 1632 Gruel is invented by the Grues of London to morph English Orphans into Grues after long periods of eating it. This plot might have worked, since after 1692, all British Orphans disappeared.
  • 1777 - The last remnants of the British army are eaten by a Grue.
  • 1823 - Vin Diesel eats a Grue, and slowly morphs into one.
  • 1951 - Hitler develops the concept of luring Grues into attacking foes, thus allowing him to win World War 2.
  • 1985 - Landmark decision in Some v. Pestilence: Court rules a person eaten by a Grue cannot be held legally responsible for death or injury related to ingestion.
  • 1987 - Danny DeVito becomes the first human - grue transplant recipient after a hunting accident involving two midgets and a circus elephant.
  • 1995 - Grues destroy Constantinople, rebuild it as Istanbul.
  • 1997 - Scientists develop Grue-proof armor, and promptly get eaten by Eurgs.
  • 1999 - Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a grue onstage, is promptly ignored as just another geek sideshow act.
  • 2001 Joe Bob manages to slay a Grue, and is seconds later crushed by a falling rock.
  • 2005 - Wales defeat the Grues 11-9 in a massive Six Nations Rugby upset. Unfortunately, the Welsh side are shortly after eaten by said Grues.
  • 2006 'You are likely to be eaten by a grue' fever sweeps the nation.
  • 2006 A grue creates uncyclopedia account. Then eats the account.
  • 2007 - Another group of scientists develop armour that is both grue-proof and eurg-proof, so the universe implodes.
  • 2009 - George W. Bush declared Grues to be "weapons of mass destruction".
  • 2045 - The Dominant species of the planets are Grues, humans build big oven to cool humans for the feast of the Grues.
  • AD 2101 - War was beginning. CATS battles the grues for control of the earth. The legendary Build-a-grue workshop opens during this time period.
  • 2147- The grues are finally defeated- only to be replaced by the eurgs who then recreate grues to balance themselves.
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