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Today's Featured Article - RAF Packington

A51 SQN

Royal Air Force Station Packington (RAF Packington) is a top secret military establishment in the English County of Staffordshire. It is home to the UK's stockpile of Weapons of Mass Distraction (WMDs). Packington is currently under the steely command of Group Captain Johnny "Nimrod" Hunter-Harrier DFC JPA QDJM. RAF Packington started off in 1826 as a pork-and-mustard factory run by local pink industrialist Jeremiah Gottmein-Himmel, who leased the site to the burgeoning Royal Scottish Air force (RSAF) who needed to establish a grass runway emergency landing strip (GREMLIN) for their aircraft returning from the disastrous First Porridge War against Kent. This saw the permanent loss of SRAF Branston, now Kent International Airport. Branston fell into disrepair and is now home to the Defence Fire and Risk Taking Organisation who regularly set fire to aeroplanes to scare the living daylights out of weary passengers on their final approach to KIA. This is an unfortunate acronym as it also abbreviates "Killed in action"

Gottmein-Himmel was an unpopular character and was notorious for hurling complex obscenities such as "puke up ya clunge" and "piss up a pole, fuck-stick," a habit that later became the basis of the character Timmy the Rude Kid in the 20th century comic Viz. Ill health befell him as a consequence of existing on a diet of Irn Bru, vodka and cider mixed in 5-litre plastic flagons and marketed as Kremlin Smash. He died alone in abject poverty, though his life is commemorated by the annual Pancake Races in Bore Street, Lichfield. One of Gottmein-Himmels final acts was to throw eggs and flour at the local magistrates court building, Griddle house. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Accountant

Adriana Lima 45

An accountant is a professional who sits in an office all day doing a few sums. Most college students aspire to be accountants, as playing on a computer is cool, though it would be cooler if they paid you to use World of Warcraft instead of Excel. College students with physical gifts do not aspire to be accountants, and may wind up hiring a couple. If being boring were an Olympic sport, accountants would always take home the gold.

Webster tells us that an accountant "understands the cost of everything and the value of nothing." It is not clear why we should give such credence to Webster, apart from the fact that he has eight accountants working for him: Webster has to go stronger to the hoop and learn to box out his man. At any rate, it is not true that accountants understand the value of nothing. For example, they intimately understand the value of having the total at the bottom of the left-hand column equal the total at the bottom of the right-hand column, just as line employees at McDonald's understand the value of putting the hamburger in the Styrofoam box before handing it to the customer. To mix metaphors, it is their bread and butter. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured UnNews:'Lights Out' For Norway, featured on 19 April 2013. See the featured version.
UnScripts:Titanic Wireless Transmissions Conspiracy, featured on 19 April 2012. See the featured version.
Salem witch trials, featured on 19 April 2011. See the featured version.
Nintendo, featured on 19 April 2010. See the featured version.

All You Need To Know Is...

*...that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
  • ...that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?

The People's Controlled Media



On This Day...

Billfinger

April 19: Clitoris Awareness Day Among gamers known as Explosion Day

  • 30,000 BC - The first clitoris is born.
  • 1559 - University of Padua, Italy recognizes the clitoris' existence.
  • 1775 - In a New York study on human sexual behavior, researches find the clitoris to be more important to female sexual pleasure than the actual vagina. Men with small penises find new hope.
  • 1907 - The first vibrator is introduced in France.
  • 1913 - The sale of vibrators are banned in France, due to electrical grid overload issues.
  • 1941 - Roberto Carlos, formerly Brazil's greatest manwhore (presently a widower), is born in Cachoeiro de Itapemirim. Many clitorii become excited.
  • 1957 - Oral sex becomes a popular alternative to intercourse. Condom sales decline.
  • 1969 - Clitoris piercing becomes a popular fad.
  • 1998 - Windows 98 is released. Memory leaks in the OS cause Bill Gates to be declared the "World's Biggest Clitoris".
  • 1990 - Clinton had oral sex with two girls from next door.
  • 2007 - Wikipedia Celebrates The First Ever International Main Page Huffing Day. [1]
  • 2007 - Aperture Science launches their Bring-your-daughter-to-work day, which is the perfect time to have her tested for STDs.
  • 2011 - Aperture Science launches new official holiday, supposedly better than Christmas. Due to large numbers of explosions during the destruction of their facilities, the day is named Explosion Day. Nobody knows why.

Featured picture

Thy-Holy-Discharge

Delicious, according to Quakers.

Image Credit: GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  09:24, February 7, 2014 (UTC)</small>
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Monkey Chained To A Typewriter & Communist Youth of the Month

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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Monkey Chained To A Typewriter of the Year, and Mhaille, our Communpedian of the Year!

Communpedia's sista projects

Communpedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.

Communpedia Sista1 MP CommUnNews
The news source on crack
CommunpediaPotato CommUncyclopedia
The capitalist-free encyclopedia
Communpedia Sista6 MP CommUndictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
Communpedia Sista2 MP CommUnTunes
Music to piss off the savage beast


Communpedia Sista8 MP Communist Women Go Wilde Project
Communpedia's founder tells all
CommUnMeta
How Communpedia doesn't work
Communpedia Sista4 MP CommUnBooks
Capitalist-free books
Communpedia Sista5 MP CommUnquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Communpedia Sista7 MP CommUncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it


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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 30,553 articles. Uncyclopedias are also being written in many other languages:

Complete list · Multilingual coordination · How to start a Uncyclopedia in another language · Requests for new languages Protected By Иосиф Сталин & the Communist Party. </span>

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