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Today's Featured Article - Constitution of the United States (actual text)

Sigs

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Section I. Any male constituent who has attained the Age of Twenty-One years shall vote for a nobleman of his choosing to represent him in the executive legislature. He shall freely cast his choice on a ballot in a designated voting bureau and deposit the ballot in a box. After all the constituents accomplished their duty of Citizenry, the box contents shall be dumped in the nearest river and the predetermined winner be announced to the People.

Section II. Any elected representative in the Land of the Free shall receive 10 slaves Free of charge, only shipping and handling to pay and shall be refunded if not satisfied before 30 days.(more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Power

Creation of the Sun and Moon face detail

Power . A word that is doubtless familiar to you and a concept you probably think you understand but yet, how much do we you really know about power?

Not much!

That's correct, bodiless, unexplained, yet helpful italicised text! We know next to nothing about power which, in its majesty is in all things, if you can comprehend such a concept. It could even be within you! You could have power right now and be unaware of the staggering implications of that fact.

I could have power?

Quite possibly, I can usually tell very quickly whether or not somebody has power. I have power and as a result I feel a certain kinship towards others with power.

I'd love to hear more about power!

Of course you would! (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Nelson Mandela, featured on 6 July 2013. See the featured version.
Berlin Wall, featured on 2 July 2013. See the featured version.
UnBooks:The Second Conquest of the Moon, featured on 18 June 2013. See the featured version.
History of Great Britain, featured on 2 February 2013. See the featured version.

All You Need To Know Is...

*...that at any second, of any minute, of any hour, of any day, a massive nuclear bomb could land on your house?

The People's Controlled Media

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On This Day...

Ctfo

Delicious!

January 31: National Ice Cream Day

  • 201 AD - Ice cream is invented in Rome, but it quickly melts due to the lack of refrigerators. Everyone is forced to slurp it.
  • 1551 - French explorers with sensitive teeth die exploring Northern Africa after keeling over in pain from eating ice cream, leaving themselves open to attack by savage tribesmen who quickly beheaded them.
  • 1819 - Heinrich Maanschweisener creates a means to produce dots from ice cream; he is defenestrated later that year on the orders of Baron Rottweil von Friendly, who fears for his monopoly on frozen treats.
  • 1928 - Stalin re-invents ice cream and names it Stalin Cream. USSR rejoices but the American scum looses there underwear.
  • 1949 - Friendly's loses contract to sell ice cream in China and is denied renewed funding by the U.S. government.
  • 1960 - Vespugian president Manuel del Caracos, on a tour of America, drowns when he falls into a flash-freezer at the Pittsburgh Dippin' Dots factory.
  • 1979 - Ben and Jerry's "Popped Cherry" ice cream is a hit.
  • 1971 - The first ice cream stand is opened in Moscow, Russia, but quickly seized by the government.
  • 1989 - Alexei Kalashnikov, proprietor of a meager Baskin Robins parlor in Stalingrad, defects to the West and takes the secret recipe for Dippin' Dots with him.
  • 1991 - Dunkin' Donuts loses a hedge-trimming contest to Dairy Queen.
  • 2007 - Coaticook brand ice cream hits shelves in Quebec, next to other ice creams.
  • 2008 - Coaticook goes ahead with first ever ice cream referendum, demanding that they have their own shelf.
  • 2009 - After a cat infestation, Ben & Jerry's introduces "Cat Pan Crunch" flavor
  • 2085 - Dippin' Dots production headquarters are obliterated by an Iranian superweapon; Friendly's rejoices.
  • 999999999999 AD - <insert name here> creates unfunny joke about pokemon, nazis and hitler.

Featured picture

Poker hand

Figuring he would at last turn around his luck, Wild Jim drew the fabled dead man's hand.

Image Credit: Sonje
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Propaganda

Relationships (images) | Hydrocarbon | Supply-side Jesus | Randy Travis | Wind (rw) | Charlie Hebdo | Christchurch (Dorset) | Invasive species (rw) | Horace Greeley | The Jackson 5 | The Cosby Show | Ido | Galla Placidia | Barf (rw) | Nirvana | Gensokyo | CHU | Star Trek: Enterprise | Rough Gay Wolf Sex (rw) | Darth Vader (rw) | Samsung | Meco Monardo | Independent film | Jeb Bush (rw) | William F. Buckley | Sens. Warren/Ayotte/Brown/McConnell | Greggs (rw) | Space Shuttle Challenger (rw) | Solar flares | Maurice Ravel



More recent propaganda | Most wanted propaganda | Requested propaganda | Add to stubs | Lonely propaganda | Propaganda Review | Try writing propaganda about... | Stuck propaganda needing a push

Monkey Chained To A Typewriter & Communist Youth of the Month

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Badge Communist Youth MP

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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Monkey Chained To A Typewriter of the Year, and Mhaille, our Communpedian of the Year!

Communpedia's sista projects

Communpedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.

Communpedia Sista1 MP CommUnNews
The news source on crack
CommunpediaPotato CommUncyclopedia
The capitalist-free encyclopedia
Communpedia Sista6 MP CommUndictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
Communpedia Sista2 MP CommUnTunes
Music to piss off the savage beast


Communpedia Sista8 MP Communist Women Go Wilde Project
Communpedia's founder tells all
CommUnMeta
How Communpedia doesn't work
Communpedia Sista4 MP CommUnBooks
Capitalist-free books
Communpedia Sista5 MP CommUnquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Communpedia Sista7 MP CommUncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it


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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 30,834 articles. Uncyclopedias are also being written in many other languages:

Complete list · Multilingual coordination · How to start a Uncyclopedia in another language · Requests for new languages Protected By Иосиф Сталин & the Communist Party. </span>

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