From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit Tim Duckling
edit The Man, The Myth, The Legend
Tim Duckling was was not a myth, nor was Tim Duckling a legend. Tim Duckling was a man, I suppose, though his utter fear of the world around him, and his constant blank state of mind, made him into some kind creature. He wasn't quite human. If you looked into his eyes you would feel as if you were staring into the eyes of some scared dog. Some say eyes are the windows into the soul. I think those people are idiots.
edit Early Years
Not much is known about Tim Ducklings early years, because nobody really cares. There was one man who seemed to care. His first name was Nathan, but his last name escapes me. But Nathan was even more pathetic than Tim Duckling, and nobody in the right mind would want such a man to care about them. Nathan was disturbingly obsessed with his grandmother, and wrote bad poetry.
If my research has proven correctly Tim Duckling grew up in a small creek about a half a mile away from a town that nobody cared about enough to name. He was raised by frogs.It was alot like [Tarzan], exept with frogs. It was tough for him. All of his friends made fun of his short tounge, but his parents loved him just the same. That is if frogs have the ability to love. That I am not sure of, though I am conducting tests at the moment. I decided it was vital, to study this, because it is a very important element that contributes to Tim Ducklings odd phsyche. I believe Tim was at the age of thirteen when things changed. His parents had another child, there 304th. Well, I suppose it was more of their 304th and 305th. It was a mutant. On of those frogs that share has two heads. They are very gross. Try typing in mutated frog into google and you will be going "eww" for hours. I was going "eww" for 2.4 hours, before I became used to mutated frogs, and began to find them cute. I did this of course, because it was a completly vital study to truly understanding Tim Duckling's phsyche.
Tim's parents were distraught by this occurence. After relativly okay tadpole years (though it suffered some major psychiatric issues, and had to have weekly visits to the psychologist) the two headed child died in its first years as a frog. The doctors said it died mainly because it had two heads, but also because it had been stepped upon by a very obese man.
The family was broken. Tim felt as though his presence was unwanted, that he was just another problem for his parents, who were having trouble coping with the death. So he left the creek, and prepared life for the real world.
edit Young Adulthood
At this stage of Tim Duckling's life my tireless research has been very unrewarding. Occording to a man a spoke to, he came to the town completely naked and was laughed at by everyone because he thought he was a frog. The man was named Ronald Bumblebee, so who knows if he is a reliable source. Bumblebee told me that he hired the young tim, and gave him a job at his shop. He let Tim live in his basement, but only under the condition that Tim walk around the house naked. Bumblebee wasn't a pervert, he just thought naked people were really funny. The shop he ran sold sex toys.
edit The Long Road, The Discovery, and The Church
These three things are the next important segments of Tim's confusing life. I have done endless research on all of them, though I cannot post it yet, for I am still putting some pieces together.
I am not Tim Duckling, though I call myself Tim Duckling. I discovered that to truly understand a man you have to try to become him. I have dedicated my life to his study. My real name is long lost. If you don't understand yet, you will soon.
| This page is a work in progress|
But let's give it a chance. The author will finish it later.
Health Warning: Putting this template on a page consisting of a few lines or worse will not save you and may actually get you banned.