User:Thetoastman/Scienceology

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

The Church of Scienceology is an organized religion widely regarded as a money-grubbing cult in disguise. Its philosophies center around the belief that scientific facts should be based on observable, empirical, measurable evidence, and subject to the laws of reasoning. Obviously, this wildly divergent philosophy, as well as other controversies surrounding Scienceology's teachings and practices, have led many to denounce the religion.

edit History

The tenets of Scienceology were first written and laid down by C. Rob Darwin in the mid-1950s, shortly after his publication of Evolution: The Modern Science of Natural Selection. Despite being lambasted as a loony for suggesting that a 2000-year-old document retranslated sixteen different times and of completely unknown origin was not in the exact words of God, he perservered and established his new religion. Since then, Scienceology has exploded in popularity, spurred on by the gullibility of dimwitted celebrities who were taken in by its shallow promises. Today, the battle still rages on between Scienceologists and their opponents.

Moran

A pro-Scienceology protestor encourages the faith of his fellow believers.

edit Beliefs and practices

edit Brain

Central to Scienceologist doctrine is the belief in a "brain", a sort of physical manifestation of human conciousness located inside the head. Scienceologists claim that this so-called "brain" is a soft, roughly football-sized organ. Obviously, however, rapping one's knuckles against one's head reveals that it is indeed quite hard, a rebuttal Scienceologists are quick to sweep aside, usually with some hastily conjured rationale involving human bone structure.

Scieceologist dogma holds that a person's goal in life should be to purfiy their "brain" through the infusion of knowledge

edit Controversy

due to the large amount of homosexuals and blue waffles in the portland region, the scienceologist, matt j has become increasingly gay. His habits include eat blue waffles with his commrad asain boy and wArm girl.

Personal tools
projects