User:Thekillerfroggy/Death in the family
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Fire Danger: CATASTROPHIC (delete)
There are numerous customs that have evolved around the death of a relative. It is customary to first check the pockets, then the wallet, or purse, and move on to a safe or bank account.
After any valuables have been secured, funeral arrangements need to be made. Economy must always be paramount, and anything other than a pine box is considered frivilous.
Suitable attire and behaviour at a family member's funeral
- Do not dig through the pockets of a person in an open casket and exclaim 'He's not going til I get that $20 he owes me'.
- Do wear something subdued and subtle, such as a black cape, black underpants, and black thigh length boots.
- Do not attempt to jump into an open casket and say 'One more ride for old time's sake' at your aunt's funeral.
- Do respect the wishes of a relative's will, and use the money as intended, eg. helping small animals to be happy. Strippers do class as small animals in the state of Nevada.
- Do touch them where you want to.