User:The egg man/Age of Mythology

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Age of Mythology is a spin-off of crap which is about pigs. You can choose to be the Greek, the Niggers, the Craps, and the Klingons. With the game came the Commies expansion pack. In it you got the Nazis and the Russians. The game is a RTS/Sex simulator.

edit Units

edit Greek

  • Villagers: Do sex to get resources.
  • Gunners: Use machine guns to kill everybody.
  • Pig: Uses Earthquake to totally win.
  • Zeus: Makes more villagers so they can have sex.
  • Pegasus: Shows things on the map like: people having sex.
  • Rapers: Rape people for double resources but taking time to mastrabute.
  • Kittens: Villagers huff them.
  • Kithuffians: Villagers after huffing a kittan. Have ultimate powers!

edit Niggers

  • Blacks: Have sex with hoes.
  • Hoes: Have sex with blacks to get resources.
  • KKKers: Kill those guys under da hood.
  • Nig Pig: Uses Bolt Storm to totally win.
  • Robbers: Rob banks so Blacks can have sex with Hoes:
  • Chicks: Their sex has double resources but cost 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, bucks.

edit Craps

  • Turds: Put it up a butt to get resources.
  • Butts: Stick a turd up it to get resources.
  • P-Bombs: Drop on opponent to spread filth.
  • Filth Pig: Uses Poo Storm to totally win.
  • Poo: Making a cameo from Earthbound, this prince will use PSI Filth Fist.
  • Constipaters. Constipated people who make turds.

edit Klingons

  • Pointy Eared Gals: Have sex with Pointy Eared Guys.
  • Pointy Eared Guys: Have sex with Pointy Eared Gals.
  • Spock: Hero. He can intimidate people with his pointy ears.
  • Link: Wait a minute... Link has pointy ears, but isn't a Klingon!!
  • Kirk: Will rape anyone you like.
  • Pointy Eared Pig: Uses Ear Storm to totally win!
  • The Beatles: Hypnotize people with your awesome songs! Goo goo a choo!

edit Commies Pack Units

edit Nazis

  • Sex Slaves: Kidnap someone to make them a sex slave.
  • Grim Rapers: Rape sex slaves.
  • Hitler: Can attack anyone cause he's Hitler!!!
  • German Pig: Can use Nazi Storm to totally win!
  • The Monkees: Hypnotize people with your awesome songs! Goo goo a choo! Oh... wrong band.
  • Donald Duck: Donald is obviously a Nazi. Didn't you watch Disney?
  • Fueher: German for Hitler.

edit Russians

  • Sex Slaves: If you kidnap other people, they're sex slaves.
  • Grim Rapers: Rape Sex Slaves for resources.
  • Coated Pig: Use Snow Storm to totally win!
  • Men at Work: For some reason they dance to attack. ACKK! Understudy! Understudy!
  • Vegemite Sandwiches: Attack with Men at Work.
  • Calvin and Hobbes: Destroy worshipers at other temples.

edit How to win

There are four ways to win:

  • 1. Kill everybody else.
  • 2. Have so much sex that you can sacrafice things.
  • 3. Rape everybody in the other town.
  • 4. Realize that this game sucks balls.

There are also five ways to lose.

  • 1. Your town all dies.
  • 2. Not have enough sex.
  • 3. Get raped.
  • 4. Get addicted to the game.
  • 5. Get the Blue Screen of Death used on you.

edit Campaigns

  • 1: All's fair in love and sex: You are the Greeks and you have to have to rape the other Nations in a series of Missions.
  • 2: Athena's Wrath: You are the Niggers and you and the Craps team up to make a Crapclops and destroy Athena.
  • 3: A Sewer Thing: You are the Craps and you have get a herd of pigs that have been stuck in the sewers out to a farm. To live, you have to fatten them up by raping them.
  • 4: Beam Me Up, God!: Spock is dying and you have to get enough resources so that Zeus will take Spock to Mount Olympus.

edit Commies Pack Campaigns

  • 1: Sex War 1: You are the Nazis and you have to take over the world by gaining sex slaves.
  • 2: The Meaning of Myths: Calvin and Hobbes discover religion in the world of Myths and they have to preach about sex to the world.

edit The Media Pack

The Media Pack was a cancelled pack for Age of Mythology. It included the Sesame Nation and the Teletubbie Nation. The was also a rumored Wiggles Nation. It contained 2 campaigns and included butt sex and blowjobs. Due to extreme suckyness, the pack was cancelled.

edit See Also

                             Ancient Gods of the Greek Mythology
                              (also known as the Christ family)
                   |         |                                                       |           |
                 Zeus===|===Hera===|===This Guy==========|=====Fairy Godmother   Hades==|==Poseidon
                        |          |                     |                              |
       ---------------------       |                -----------                     Anonymous
       |        |          |       |                |         |
     Venus=|=Athena      Hermes    |---Antithe  Tinkerbell   God===|===Virgin Mary
           |      |          |     |---Athe                        |
 Chaos=|=Atana==|=Seiya  Peter Pan |---Pan                  Original Jesus
       |   |    |                                                  |
Godzilla  Amy  Girly                               ...and we all know what happened then

The Nine Great Ages

Ice Age - Stone Age - Neolithic Age - Bronze Age - Iron Age - Age of Empires - Dark Ages - Middle Ages - Golden Age - New Age -

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