User:The Woodburninator/UnBooks:Uncyclopedia84

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edit Part One


A dramatic picture of the two sides doing battle over User:Rcmurphy's talk page.

User:Winston the Scrag (Scrag being the newest slang term for "elite") walked out of his Userpage and into the cold wind of the mainspace. He bagan to reminisce during his look through the recent changes. It had been a few years since The Paryt came into power. Still, he remembered it like it was a few years ago. It began when User:Rcmurphy decided to come back and feature his own talkpage as a joke. There had been an uprising, and the good users of Uncyclopedia were having a tough time repelling the wave of vandals that were attacking all over the site. It looked like the admins and powerful reverting users had taken control, when new admin User:RAHB turned sides, and gave the title of admin to many of the vandals. With the inability to keep anyone banned, the structure of the site crumbled, and most, if not all of the old admins and Hall of Shame users had left. With the site now thiers, the new admins unblocked User:NXWave, who had been behind the revolt the entire time, and he became the site's most powerful admin. User:NXWave created a new structure for the site, with himself at the top, followed by the Upper Paryt that only included his most loyal followers, and then the Lower Paryt, which consisted of the rest of his followers, and then the Prudes, which were those who didn't follow User:NXWave, but were considered too few in number to have any real effect on the site. The members of the Upper Paryt were always checking Recent changes to keep everyone in line, and had all of the old pages watchlisted.

User:Winston the Scrag was part of the Lower Party. It wasn't by choice, but because it was his only chance to be a part of the site. Those who didn't submit to User:NXWave's wishes got infiniblocked, and were cast off. Of course, this is what happened to User:RAHB. After seeing the way User:NXWave was controlling the site, he tried to get him to change, before deciding to leave the site. Even after this, User:NXWave hunted down User:RAHB, claiming he was the leader of a group of old users using sockpuppetry to get the site back. Some said it was just lies to keep the users scared, but User:Winston the Scrag knew who the not-so-inconspicuous User:The Froggy Killer was. The group was known as the Below-ground Rebellion, and was said to include old users such as User:Modusoperandi, User:YesTimeToEdit, User:THEDUDEMAN, and the aformentioned User:The Froggy Killer. User:Under user was there too, but that's just where he lived. Featured Images that were just large images of some of these old user's signatures were used to instill hate in the old ways, and the image's comments page was usually ravaged with vandals. Of course signatures were outlawed for all but those in the Upper Paryt, as it was seen as helping spread the idea of community and togetherness for those lower in the system. User:Winston the Scrag had to stick with normal blue.


Just a sampling of some of the artwork found on RadicalX's page.

User:Winston the Scrag decided to take a trip down memory lane, and checked out User:Zombiebaron's talk page. Once a page bussling with edits, it was now a wasteland. It had been all but destroyed by vandals spewing horrible things about User:Zombiebaron. Even the archives had been vandalized. User:Winston the Scrag was able to see some of the old pages, but they were always thousands of edits down in the edit history. Yes, things were in poor shape as they were, User:Winston the Scrag typed inside his head. Typing such a thing anywhere on the site was cause for a user to disappear. Even as they were gone, the old users got mocked. A trip to User:The Thinker's userpage consisted mainly of images of people doing moronic, and brutish actions. User:MrN9000's userpage was filled with nothing but pages upon pages of old VFD articles that he had helped destroy, that were now some of the site's most popular. User:RadicalX's userpage was filled with crudely done MS Paint images that somehow were all credited to him, even though he had been blocked long before most of them had been made. None had it worse than User:MadMax though. He had not been blocked, and was too stubborn to leave the site. He just went about his business like normal, trying to keep vandalism to a minimum, and checking spelling for as many articles as possible. But User:NXWave had four members of the Upper Paryt follow him around at all times, and they always reverted anything he did.

Of course, there was almost no use editing now a days. Most of the old features were just bastardized versions of their earlier selves. Half of them were just complete copies of the new Chuck Norris page that went up five seconds after User:NXWave's side won. All of the new articles were worthless as well. Even Encyclopedia Dramatica wouldn't allow most of the new pages that came up. The article that was featured today was about The Olympics. Only it wasn't really. Of course it was about monkeys in The Olympics, and how the best event was the "Feces throw". There was one line in it that intrigued him though. It said "The Ape known as 'TLB' was much better than the Ape 'SU'." Unfortunately he couldn't figure out what was meant by it though, and decided he would have to aske the article's writer, User:MC Reverant, what it meant one day.


User:Winston the Scrag at 10:00 Saturday night.

Depressed, User:Winston the Scrag went back to his userpage. He hated using the "User:" title in front of everyone's names, but User:NXWave had instituted that rule in order to keep things between users formal, so that no nicknames could be used between users, and so that there would be no comraderie between fellow users in order to create a community. The inability to connect with other users was one of the worst parts for User:Winston the Scrag. His actual social life was shot right now, and work took up most of his day. The fact that he was in his apartment, alone, searching the site at 10:00 on a Saturday night was bad enough. But not being able to spend that Saturday night dicking around on IRC (which had been completly deleted, thanks to Upper Paryt member, User:Waves) made it all that much worse.

User:Winston the Scrag saw that he had a new message when he got to his userpage. No longer was the new message template orange, but now it was a black with red type, and an enlarged version of User:NXWave's signature. He checked the message, which was from old User:Dr. Skullthumper's bot User:Fnoodle. User:Fnoodle was now being used by some members of the Upper Paryt to help send warnings to people. Apparently he hadn't spent enough time this week writing hate messages on User:RAHB's talk page, and needed more time in the Sandbox for the month. If he didn't comply with the message, he would be banned. He hated doing this. At one point in time he had considered User:RAHB as his mentor, as he was adopted by him. Leaving him taunting messages was always hard to do, but he complied, so that if the revolt did come one day, he could be there to help fight immediately. He was sure they could use all the help they could get.

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