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The UVFU (The Ultimate Videogame Franchises Union) is the fucking absolute worst union of all time on GameSpot, formed September 20th 2007. It's littered with incredibly old, recycled Internet memes and the laziest union leader you'll ever meet on the site. The sheer amount of mentally unstable people in that union will literally make you go - o_O
“God, we're so fucking awesome.”
“What the hell has Zeromus done to my union!? :(”
“What. The. Fudge. ”
edit Nobody Cares about this article.
You'll see threads in the union take a 180 degree turn by the 6th post and the officers and recruits will keep babbling on about Bearshine, Grinch Nuggets, OVER 9000! and DESU DESU DESU! for God knows how long. All of which, make no sense at all.
“Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu desu”
“You think I'm stuck in 2003 because of my constant use of internet memes which you deem now lame? You see this revolver, sonny boy? ”
It is the greatest place of facepalm worthy fail on GameSpot. We'll have you know it fails MOAR than System Wars. FYI, Zeromus1337 is mentioned too many times in this article - He must be an Attention Whore.
“Bears? I don't know nuthin 'bout no bears! I didn't co-create them or anything! >_>”
“I am the prince of bears! Kneel before me!”
“Bears... are sweet.”
The union has a long, unexplained affiliation with the bears. Zeromus is their prince, and they're also like totally awesome.
“Bears are like totally awesome.”
However, there seems to be more to it. Hyper_Hedgehog appears to have unspecified connections with their creation. He has a large knowledge of them, their origins, and their secret weapon, the pic-a-nic basket. However, he denies all claims of co-creation.
This, however, has no relation to DA BEARS, ever.
edit Union Formation
The Treehouse club was formed on September 20th, 2007 by one Abgoj, who currently resides in the UK. He'll want you to know that Europeans kick more ass than Americans and they do not drink Tea every fucking day. Allegedly, at least. LOL!!!1 Moreover, he kills a Puppy for lulz every time he deems a recruit's posts fail-worthy. On September 19th; Abgoj, with sheer badassery, demanded that 4 people on the site submit to his Godly will and help him create the union or else he'd give them massive OVER 9000! amounts of Butt-Hurt.
“Dammit, you will help me make this union!!! >:( ”
Once that was done, He laughed, fired 3 charter members and solely kept 2ndWonder as an officer for he felt threatened by his awesomeness and what he could do if he fired him - Donald Trump style.
“I admit, 2ndWonder's awesomeness challenges my own. >_>”
They then went on a killing spree together in the Welcome Newbies - How To GameSpot board of the site for no apparent reason. Abgoj was later sent to Jail, where he later tried not to "Drop The Soap ". He didn't, and was eventually released when he paid Bail - 3 Bottle caps.
edit LOL! - Leadership Change!
After 7 months of absolute dictatorship, Abgoj needed rest. There he found the next leader that would take place. One, Zeromus1337. Abgoj began to ponder if he should trust this individual. Was he active? Yes. Did he know about games? Yes. Did he only join Gamespot a few days ago? Yes, and probably had next to no union experience, and giving the union to him was a terrible idea. According to Abgoj, he did it for the lulz.
“Holy shit! I've got the greatest idea ever. I'll make a recruit become Leader, because I need to make it apart of my daily schedule to tell people how fucking awesome Shadow Of The Colossus is! It may be a terrible idea, but dammit, I need to spread my Propaganda! And if he fucks up, I won't be blamed! XD Now pass me some tea and crumpits. ”
“Holy shit, I'm the leader now. Does this mean Chinese Democracy starts now?”
No one actually knows how the Leadership change went down. But one believes it involved Tabasco Sauce, a Telephone and a lot of hazing.
edit The Great Recruit Purge
“I blame the killing of 800 recruits not on me, but on Faller and US Republicans. Mostly Faller though.”
One day Zeromus grew tired on his non-stop sitting on the throne. He needed some pointless excitement in his life. So after being convincd by Faller88 that they should go drink at a local bar, he agreed. Sadly, Faller didn't realize that Zeromus is so easily affected by Alcohol that he would literally kill anyone on sight.
“I seriously have no idea what the fuck happened that night. All I remember is him seeing one union recruit after being intoxicated and then him killing the recruit on sight. Then it became another, and another. I gotta admit, it was pretty badass though.”
After drinking only one shot of Jack Daniels that night, Zeromus felt an urge to kill. He looked at a recruit sitting besides him and asked when was the last time he visited the union. After the recruit responded with "Oh, I uh... I've been there once", Zeromus pulled an AK-47 and shot him, sending him to Internet Hell. He then proceeded to shoot himself in the leg.
“DIIIIE, INMAXCCTIVE RECRITS DIEEEEE!!! SLRHMMMM!!”
The casualties were high. Zeromus eventually ended up killing 800 recruits that night. He was going to kill one more, but it took Conver, Faller, Hyper_Hedgehog and Shiggums to finally restrain him.
“God, you get drunk that easily?”
“That still wasn't as badass as Jimmy Page's romps with Jack Daniel's.”
“He did it for the lulz.”
Zeromus1337 later filed a restraining order against Faller, but it probably hasn't worked at all.
edit Union Terms
- Uh, wait? :P
edit Union Members
- Still Being Updated
“He's a total dude.”
The charter member and officer Abgoj didn't fire - Donald Trump style because of his sheer awesomeness. Many posters on GameSpot yell a girlish scream of excitement at the sight of him. Secretly making a plan to flood the union with incredibly tired internet memes. Is secretly Abgoj's personal Assassin. Dammit, now you know that!
“Kneel before me!”
He has been spoken of and nothing more needs to be said. He's just badass. 'Nuff said.
“I win. Epically.”
Once known as an officer in the union. He was later tragically killed as a result of the 43408 Incident, and was brought back by finalfan789, who was brought back by kingkilla3 as an undead zombie. He sometimes appears to continually harass Zeromus1337 for no apparent reason. It is speculated whether he and Zeromus1337 are actually the same person. But thinking such a thing is like believing Chinese Democracy actually exists.
“Why do I even bother coming here?”
The only female officer of the union, thus making her the only normally sane person. Is known for writing people's names in a Death Note if a person claims Castlevania is pure, 100% Epic Fail!. Too bad the Death Note is just a tax form. HA!
NASCAR - LOL! :P Is one of Zeromus1337's favorite recruits. After hearing that comment, dale then proceeded to pack himself with a Beretta, for fear of what he might try to do.
Is known to be apart of the "Dream Team", a duo of Officers which consist of him and _Horde. Sort of like an 80's Buddy cop flick. Is known for doing shady deals with Doctor House, and once got Zeromus1337 drunk, which led to him killing 800 recruits in May, also known as the great Recruit Purge. Zeromus has since filed a restraining order against him, but he knows it won't last.
“I will never die!”
Along with AsakuraHao2004, was killed in the 43408 Incident. Was later resurrected by kingkilla3 to assist AsakuraHao2004 in harassing Zeromus1337 with nonsensical posts.
“Sonic Boom, Sonic Boom, Sonic Boom...”
Abgoj's cousin and an officer in the union. He has a shady past involving bears (he totally didn't co-create them >_>), and has a deadly desire to release the pic-a-nic basket, the most powerful weapon in the bears' arsenal. Has killed 1,867,873,920 people who opposed the reign of Sonic The Hedgehogs's reign of recently lame games, all involving Big The Cat. Oh yes.
“I am Wyvern, the great.”
Wyvern, the great. Is constantly known for shouting propaganda about Bearshine, Grinch Nuggets, and at times how much more awesome the Spanish language is, when compared to English. Although, whether or not this has landed him a job as a Telemarketer is uncertain.
ZOMGSEGATEHBEST!!!!!1 The most recent officer of the union. Can be usually found in System Wars, telling people why the the Sega CD was and still is, the greatest system ever. Although he uses the " :( " emoticon when people mention Corpse Killer and Kris Kross: Make My Video in their rebuttal.
Is known for being the officer with Godly videomaking skills and tries to continually remind everyone that Canada is the greatest nation on Earth. But everyone just laughs.
Is often the voice of reason. But since no one takes the Internet seriously at all, he makes it a habit to be as evil as Bill O' Reilly. Is currently on a hiatus from Officer duty while he tries to reunite the 3 remaining Led Zeppelin members for a studio album. One would doubt he'd get that far.
“This calls for Grinch nuggets!”
Has been mentioned too many damn times in this article. Continually tries to tell people that Chinese Democracy STARTS NOW!!!
Is known to be the other half of the "Dream Team" an officer team, with Faller. But is also known to be Zeromus' partner in crime. He's trying to launch Epic Nachos, a videogame blog/forum, but it's bound to fail since no one has ever took Videogame reviews seriously.