User:The Jeff Killer/Awesomnium

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“It'll tear this country apart; just like television.”
~ Old People on Awesomnium
“That's awesome!”
~ Everyone Else on Awesonium
Awesomnium is the assumed name of element 121, previously known as Unbinium.
Awesomnium
The newest version of the Periodic Table.
It is an artificially made element, and is usually in a solid state(although trace amount of natrural awesomnium in gas form have been found.). This particular element ends up forming a new block on the Periodic Table, the g-block(the g stands for godlike). It is assumed that the next fourteen elements, the rest of the g-block, will have similar properties to awesomnium.

Properties

121 mix
This is what a single atom of awesomnium is thought to look like(and most likely is, on account of the fact that the author said "That's awesome!" when they first saw it).
Awesomnium is the only known element with the ability to awesomnify everything it touches instantly, the extent to which is determined by the amount used. It has been used since its creation to produce the very best of everything, most notably the Halo series. Halo 1 only used trace amounts of it(mixed with the other stuff CDs are made out of), Halo 2 used it at a roughly 50:50 ratio, and it is rumored that Halo 3 is made out of it entirely. A relatively unknown fact of awesomnium is that when someone says "That's awesome!" in response to an object or action, it is very likely that it either contains or has recently came in contact with the element.

History

Awesomnium was created in 1974 by a
Awwwwsomme
The swamp that was "infected" with awesomnium.
group of scientists who were tired of things always being not awesome. Unfortunantely, it didn't come into widespread use until after the 1980's, a decade that desperately needed it, had passed.

The first attempt at transporting a large amount of awesomnium ended in failure when the truck carrying it crashed into a dank little swamp, thus infecting everything within a twenty mile radius. This ended up causing the world's first(and so far only) over-awesomnification. It is still disputed as to whether or not this could be classified as a disaster.

Usage in Food

Awesomnium first started being used in food after one of it's creators rubbed the doughnut he was eating for lunch on it. Upon doing so, the doughnut instantly became filled with jelly, thus creating a "Jelly Doughnut". After this phenomenon, food producers were eager to put it into their products. Origonally, the nutrition facts was supposed to list it as "Awesomnium", but due to a typo, read "Saturated Fat" instead. For some odd reason, this error was never corrected.

Awesomnium in Gas Form

Although awesomnium was artificially made, it has been found to occur naturally in gas form inside of people's farts. In this form, however, it is impure, and only lasts long enough to be smelled by other people(in gas form, it emits a noxious odor). Since it is so rare to see awesomnium in gas form, little else is known about it.

Research

Currently, all research on Awesomnium is being performed at the National Awesomnium Research Center, or NARC. The National Awesomnium Research Center Students, or NARCS, are the people currently assigned to work on it. These NARCS have uncovered many secrets about awesomnium, including it's chemical makeup and how to mass produce it. Once mass production of awesomnium has been mastered, it is likely that everything you know and love will be radically altered to include awesomnium. We have the NARCS to thank for this.

Awesomnium and Genetics

Ss-dna
A drawing of DNA with the "Awesomine" protein added.
Recently, it has been attempted to infuse awesomnium with DNA, particularly in humans.

This will supposedly cause humans to be disease-resistant, stronger, and have greater skill in every single field that requires it. The genetic engineers currently working on this say that it will be done by the year 2096. When asked why it would take so long, one of the workers said simply "Legal things, ya know?"

Critisicm

Awesomnium has been greatly criticiced due to the fact that some people can't comprehend how it can make everything better. There has also been much criticism of genetic engineers for trying to infuse awesomnium with human DNA(would you honestly expect anything less?). Their are many other criticisms concerning awesomnium, but they're mostly from old people who want to live in the 1920's forever.

See Also

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