User:TheWikiMan026/Talk Archive 1

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Hello! Here is something that may help you get started


We have been waiting for you.

Hello, TheWikiMan026, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! This is a comedy wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). It pretends it's Wikipedia, but makes people laugh. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are many other projects, such as UnScripts, UnBooks, how-to guides, etc. (Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page.)

What you can do

You can create your own article. First, under your own name (User:TheWikiMan026/An article), if, for example, you are not sure whether you will finish it. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We also have a list of articles that need to be created.

In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

You certainly need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

And here are some pages that can help you with writing!
Scotty and the bloody knife
Writing funny articles
Understanding Uncyclopedia: About usBeginner's GuideHow to editOur projectsGetting ideasHelp menu
Understanding Funny: How To Be Funny And Not Just StupidFunny and not just stupid imagesChoosing words creatively
What to avoid: VandalismCyberbullyingWriting about yourself or your palsDramaOveruse of initial quotationsOveruse of lists
What people have asked for: ArticlesPictures
Additional help: Get spelling/grammar helpFind or become a co-authorHow to write an UnNewsAsk an AdminGet feedback on your work
For personal help
  • Several experienced Uncyclopedians have indicated their willingness to adopt new users;
  • Finally, you can ask questions on your (here) or on my talk page. And I will be willing to help you!
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice your addition.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more ":" characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which will get replaced by your signature (you can set it up using Preferences) and the date and time of your post.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here!

Anton (talk) 17:34, April 28, 2014 (UTC)

User:TheWikiMan026/Child Trapped in Ulsterbus boot

This is short, unfunny, not based on news, and doesn't look like news. Writing a news story with the word "fuck" in it is overused and trite, and so is the gimmick that the "reporter" can't be arsed to finish the article and wants the reader to go away. This gets our venerable tradition of a "mercy move" to the above address for more work (rather than outright deletion). We need an actual creative interpretation of actual current events. Spıke Ѧ 19:19 14-May-14

It is not based on news but is an exaggeration of a real event--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 19:34, May 14, 2014 (UTC)

Ah, then what it needs is a {{Source}} (see UnNews:Style for how to use). Also, an actual comedy theme. I, for example, am one ocean to the west of Ulster and don't know what happened on a bus there unless you point me to a news article. This lets me relate your humor to reality. Also, be careful about relying on "weird news" columns or cases where reality was even funnier than your interpretation of it is going to be. Spıke Ѧ 19:41, 20:23 14-May-14

It wasn't on any news it was just that it happened to me :) --TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 20:34, May 14, 2014 (UTC)
Actually it is like 1% truth and 99% exaggeration --TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 20:36, May 14, 2014 (UTC)

Well, my plumber visited my house today. And I could have sued him, and the trial could have turned into a shouting match. Which gets us to a more fundamental rule than the use of a template: Stuff that strikes you as funny (because it happened to you) does not necessarily relate to the reader. Try to write for the reader. Spıke Ѧ 20:38 14-May-14 It never went to court! It happened like this:

  • I got of the bus and went to the boot to get something. the boots are pretty low down so you have to bend down to get to them
  • The boots aren't controlled from the inside and are operated manually
  • The driver didn't notice me in there so she driv on and I was in the boot
  • After a while she noticed the boot was open so she stopped

that's it --TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 10:23, May 15, 2014 (UTC) Forget it, I'm not doing it anymore

Signature stuff

Please fix that signature before you actually sign anything with it. Your signature ought not be wider than a line of text (see UN:SIG). Because of this, it usually doesn't work to make a signature a signature, if you take my meaning. Spıke Ѧ 00:12 29-Apr-14

Your user page

User pages are usually to introduce yourself to us. Talk pages are to talk. You may have it backwards. Your first request for a user page to be deleted seems to have been taken care of by someone who saw your edit. In the future, to get an article deleted, post it at UN:QVFD. There is never any problem with this if you are the only editor. Regarding Poitin, there is a link in the box above for finding collaborators. I don't know what Poitin is, and either deleted or thought hard about deleting, your addition of material on Poitin on some other page. So if you write an article about it, include some stuff apart from the humor to bring us up to speed. Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 00:18 29-Apr-14

PS--And I have reverted more Poitin stuff from you on HowTo:Cure Cancer, as it (and the dialect it uses) has little to do with curing cancer and the point of an initial quotation is to lure the reader in and not to give you a soapbox. Spıke Ѧ 00:26 29-Apr-14


Is this signature fine? --TheWikiMan026 Signature 18:33, April 30, 2014 (UTC)

No; again, it is wider (I should have written "higher") than a line of text. (If you wrote three lines with the signature in the middle, it would push the first and last apart.) This is why what you have in mind probably won't work.

In other news:

  • I moved your archive to User:TheWikiMan026/Talk Archive 1, because you will probably have more than one of them, and you must use the slash character or you are referring to a different user name.
  • You don't need to archive at all until your talk page becomes much more full!
  • Please post to the bottom of talk pages.

Cheers! Spıke Ѧ 18:56 30-Apr-14

Is --TheWikiMan026 Signature 17:07, May 1, 2014 (UTC) ok? If I make it any smaller the signature will be unreadable.

--TheWikiMan026 Signature 17:07, May 1, 2014 (UTC)

Still needs more reduction in order not to push text lines apart. Try again with a darker/broader pen or stylus. I had a notion to do what you are trying to do and I gave up. PS--Reply at the bottom of this page; I'll see it. Spıke Ѧ 17:13 1-May-14

House style

  1. Please don't put year numbers (also month names and day numbers) in double-brackets. Wikipedia no longer even does this.
  2. Don't put {{Wikipedia}} right under the initial photo; instead, put it somewhere else so it breaks up the text and makes the page more visually attractive.
  3. You have come to the conclusion that templates such as {{Wikipedia}} take parameters that specify their position on the page. Only, this isn't true. It may be true for a few of them, but it depends on how each individual template is written. 20:02 1-May-14
  4. Also, please stop coding <BR> everywhere! The basis of "wikicoding" is to specify what a page should contain, and let the engine render it adequately on a variety of screens. Commands that put everything in exactly the place you want, on your screen, might not do anything similar on other people's screens; and any time you feel compelled to dictate the spacing, it may be because you don't know about templates that exist for specific situations, such as {{-}}. It also risks having your page look dissimilar to other Uncyclopedia articles. This also applies to the new authors who feel the need to dictate boldface and italics for section titles, with the result that they no longer appear in the Table of Contents. Spıke Ѧ 20:17 1-May-14
  5. As this is a satire encyclopedia, not a blog, articles (such as Portora Royal School‎‎) are not signed, and it is vanity to tell us where you are going to school. Spıke Ѧ 12:07 4-May-14

Here is another one: Please stop removing other people's posts from your userpage, as other people might appreciate reading that you got a recommendation, and I might appreciate the reminder that I gave the recommendation, for example to avoid giving it again. It doesn't matter that you consider the problem "fixed." Spıke Ѧ 19:49 7-May-14

UnNews:Ukraine changes flag

Thanks for converting this into an UnNews! It is now on the Front Page! Spıke Ѧ 21:48 8-May-14


Are you planning to write anything? It would be cool if you did. Anton (talk) 11:15, May 12, 2014 (UTC)

I am planning to write an article about Ulsterbus The preceding unsigned comment was added by TheWikiMan026 (talk • contribs)
OK, I am looking forward to reading it. Anton (talk) 07:38, May 13, 2014 (UTC)

User:TheWikiMan026/Gigantic jellyfish wash up in Dorset‎

Anton199 placed {{ICU}} on this UnNews and you did nothing about it. A week has expired and so has the UnNews. You can :work further on it at the address shown above. Spıke Ѧ 13:23 20-May-14 I don't know why but the URL on that loads up is different then typed into the page.--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 18:21, May 20, 2014 (UTC)

Cheers on figuring out the {{Source}} template! Ignore the External Link Warning; external links should not go in most articles, as we are not a catalog of stuff on other websites, but they are recommended for UnNewses like this, as I explained at User talk:Anton199. Now, never write a date as 05 12 2014, especially in a news about Britain, where it would mean 5 December, not May 12. And play it straight with the source title, as the goal is to tell the reader what the straight news was. Spıke Ѧ 22:07 20-May-14
It said MM DD, YYYY so that's haw i writ it.--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 16:26, May 21, 2014 (UTC)
No. It says Mmmmm DD, YYYY — meaning spell out the month. Spıke Ѧ 16:30 21-May-14

User:TheWikiMan026/Wikipedia war‎

Do not create files in the Template: space for single (I hope) use. Instead, type the code directly onto your userpage. Spıke Ѧ 17:22 25-May-14

No I want to make it a userbox--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 17:22, May 25, 2014 (UTC)

Then type the code into a page in your userspace. Do not create files in the Template: space for single (I hope) use. Spıke Ѧ 17:26 25-May-14

File:Waiting For Dial-up.jpeg

Regarding my revert here: The point of Uncyclopedia is for you to write funny stuff, not find photos on the web that someone else made funny by having the photo be a screen shot of text that someone else wrote. In summary, write funny stuff. Spıke Ѧ 16:54 26-May-14

I didn't find it. I made it myself--TheWikiMan026 Signature Talk 17:00, May 26, 2014 (UTC)

That resolves half my issues. I'll undelete it. But you still have a joke told by tiny text in a photo rather than by the text of the article, or by the caption. Spıke Ѧ 17:19 26-May-14

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Method acting‎

I'm afraid your Pee Review gave author Everyotherusernamewastaken almost no useful advice. What was it supposed to show: How cleverly you can insult your fellow Uncyclopedians? I am not in love with this article either, but I have given the author specific guidance on his user page, such as things to avoid, and things that seem funny except that previous authors have tried them a thousand times, most of which are written down in How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid. We are all we've got here, we are the world's best except for everyone who is worth actual pay, and thus we have to get along. Everyotherusernamewastaken is a bit further along on the path toward comedy than you and has required less cleaning up after. I suggest an apology — and then a collaboration (that means work on an article together) — You would both learn stuff. Spıke Ѧ 23:30 26-May-14

OK calm down like, this was my first Pee Review. You don't have to be so angry nobody's perfect like.--TheWikiMan026 Signature Chater 18:38, May 28, 2014 (UTC)

My mood is not the issue. When I get seriously "angry," you will instantly perceive it because your password will not work. Your bad-faith Pee Review was not the result of inexperience but of deciding it would be funny to cut to shreds a fellow team member, to whom you have still not apologized. Spıke Ѧ 20:00 28-May-14


Please remove the footnote. Our readers do not come here to be directed to the Belfast Telegraph, our webhost does not like it when we send its traffic elsewhere, and if you are trying to get your reader to read a newspaper article, then you are not writing original comedy but making a serious case against the trolley system; that is, advocacy. Spıke Ѧ 20:00 28-May-14

Paul Robeson?

"I don't know anything about neither of them two people so I can't give much advice on that subject.--TheWikiMan026 Chater Norn Iron Flag 15:50, May 29, 2014 (UTC)"

Paul Robeson was the guy who sang stuff like Ol' Man River and Swing Low Sweet Chariot. If you somehow have never heard of either of those songs, please still check it out to see if you find it funny without your knowledge.

I'll see but again, I don't know him--TheWikiMan026 Chater Norn Iron Flag 18:19, May 29, 2014 (UTC)

Resubmitting Pee Reviews

Hello there! Thanks for doing some reviewing job recently! Just so you know, if you write a review and are not sure if it will suit the author, you don't have to create a new page to resubmit the request, as this is normally done by the author if he isn't satisfied with the review he has got or has already improved on the article and wants more feedback.

If you are done and you think that your review isn't enough for the author, you can just leave the article the way it is, because it will still display in Category:Feedback requested for other reviwers to see it. Cheers! Anton (talk) 10:24, May 30, 2014 (UTC)


  • To separate some guidance from your talk page into a file called "Fixed Problems," and then QVFD that file, is to try to expunge the fact that you were given the guidance. Among the more minor problems of this practice is the tendency to waste people's time giving you the guidance again when you continue not to follow it.
  • When you find a page that has adopted an American convention, such as the location of the day number at QVFD, do not assume it needs conversion to the British convention. (Or vice versa.) This is a basic point in working on a trans-Atlantic group writing project. ScottPat can advise you further.
  • When you see an "error" in the day's Featured Article, such as an assertion that Brits in distress dial 0800, do not "correct" it either. Because this is a humor wiki.
  • Do not move this advice to "Fixed Problems." Spıke Ѧ 17:46 5-Jun-14

Thank you. Spıke Ѧ 17:46 5-Jun-14

Just wanted to say that I am not sure TheWikiMan tried to convert the dates from the American to the British system on QVFD. I think he just used the system which was familiar to him, without necessarily noticing that all the other dates were using another one. Maybe he thought that placing the name of the month before or after the day was not a big deal (actually, I don't think it's a big deal either). Anton (talk) 17:08, June 6, 2014 (UTC)

A few more:

  • I don't know what "Please pass this on to admin SPIKE" means, as you typed the points in yourself. But for future reference, a ban means you don't participate in the life of this website — personally or through proxies.
  • Do not type tags such as <BR> into any page unless until you know what you are doing.

I too do not think American versus British dates is important at all. But I think that American versus British authors wrestling over parochial "corrections" must be avoided. Understand that you are working with people of different cultures and dialects and try to make the result smooth for the reader — not necessarily make the result British. Spıke Ѧ 19:26 6-Jun-14

Welcoming users

Thanks for trying to welcome users and thanks for making your own template for this! However, it seems quite pointless to welcome users who have been active years ago, even though their contributions might have been worthy.

Also, the code you replaced with {{USERNAME}} was there for a specific purpose: it substituted the template to the welcomed user's actual name, so that the welcome message on your talkpage, for example, reads: "Hello TheWikiMan026", even when you're editing it. {{USERNAME}} displays differently for every user, so that every reader of the talkpage you made will see his own name displayed and an IP editor (if the welcomed user logs out) won't see any name displayed at all.

Please, continue trying though and I would suggest even adding your name to the list of members of our Welcoming Committee, only you might want to check Special:RecentChanges or Special:Log/newusers from now on to see what new users actually need welcoming. Anton (talk) 16:26, June 7, 2014 (UTC)


I have made a few edits to your page, and I think you ought to check them out and continue writing the article, as at the moment it's very short. You should write articles if you have ideas for jokes on the subject, not if you think the subject deserves an article for its notability.--Sigphoto|(get dtf) 11:08, June 8, 2014 (UTC)


Your topic for the competition is Central Library hosts body cleanliness program

So go create an article on your user space. Contact me (or an admin if I don't respond soon) for any questions. You have two days. Remember:

CREATIVITY, ORIGINALITY and HELARITY. You will be judged on all three of these out of 10 for a score of 30.


--ShabiDOO 17:58, June 14, 2014 (UTC)

A central library could be the big library in the downtown or centre of a city. Or in a university its the big main library with general books. --ShabiDOO 17:39, June 15, 2014 (UTC)
You did it! This year is a record for semi-completed and finished articles. I've been blown away by the humour and creativity of the articles I've so far read! Watch as the scores slowly trick in over the next week here. Hope you enjoyed it spam-toaster. --ShabiDOO 05:17, June 20, 2014 (UTC)
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