User:TheHumbucker/Substitute Teacher

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"You're a Substitute Teacher?" the secretary asks. I nod. "Go right down that hallway. Wait outside room 37. Ms. Patterson will give you your schedule in a minute."

Down the hallway, past the assistant principle's office. He's in there, on the phone. "Yes, we know Mr. Shaw's 7th period class has caused $738 of damages this semester..." he says. Attendance forms are in a folder taped to the wall, right above the Substitute Teacher Report Forms, which are also in a folder taped to the wall. Take one of each. Snag a map of Northview High School from another folder which is, naturally, in a folder above the attendance forms.

Check the watch. 7:03am. Unnnngggh. Massive swig of instant coffee from the thermos. Bleh. Stare at the wall on the opposite side of the hall.


"Good morning," I black-haired guy in a suit and tie says jovially.


Why the look? Do I have a duck on my head?

Massive swig of coffee. Bleh. Scratch my head. No feathers. Good. 7:14am.

edit Pre-Homeroom: 7:20

Be at the school 30 minutes before opening bell to have enough time to prepare the training packet had said. Check watch. 7:21. 16 minutes before homeroom.

Thank God I got here at 7:0fucking1. I feel prepared now.

The door to 37 opens and I jump, feeling more awake than any amount of coffee can do. An older woman, apparently Ms. Patterson, hands me a paper - my schedule. Lunch is Period 5, break is Period 6. I'm teaching Italian.

I don't speak Italian.

Period 7 and 8 are empty.

"Ms. Patterson, what have I got 7 and 8?"

"We don't know yet. We'll let you know as soon as we figure it out."

Fucking great. Massive swig of coffee. Bleh.

Homeroom in 268. Upstairs and on the opposite side of the building. Stay in 268 for Periods 1-3, then 262 for 4. At least there's no running between classes. It's hard telling kids to stop running in the halls while running in the halls.

Out into the hall and into the flood of teens. Lockers slamming. Girls yelling. Boys running.

"AY! Oh ummmin!" I shout through a sleep-deprived mouth. Massive swig of coffee.


At some point the caffeine will kick in.

edit Homeroom: 7:29

Step 1: Locate lesson plans.

Step 1/2: Get the janitor to unlock the door of 268.

"Are you the substitute for Mrs. Tellerico?" a very average looking boy asks from a group of freshmen.

"Yeah," I say, making his eyes light up as he turns to his posse, gleefully saying "He is!" as if they couldn't hear when I said it.

Massive swig of coffee. Bleh. 7:30. 7 minutes before the opening bell. Massive swig of coffee.


The janitor swings his rack of keys like all janitors do and scowled like many also do. "Locked yourself out already?" he moaned.

I laugh it off, saying something about being a substitute, and he grumbles a little less, unlocks the door, and leaves. Go back to watching the parking lot you lazy-ass fuck.

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