User:TheGreatLiquidFox/UnNews:Jamaican Team For Olympics Says "Gonna Be A Good Year"
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8 August 2008
ZIMBABWE, Africa ,Today, In preperation for the Olympics, the Jamaican team told this Drugged-Up Uncyclopedian Reporter this. "It's a gonna be a good year maan!" The Jamaican team, so far, has lost every single Olympics so far, but has decided that they'll win this year. "We've got something up our sleeves, and this time, It's not murder, or drugs, or money!" Which suprised us all.
What the Jamaican Team has up there sleeves, no one knows, but some have speculated it's something like Mugabe. One American, though his opinion counted for nothing, had this to say. "Because Mugabe's now the President, he controls just about the entire earth now!" "He'll help us win, but he'd help his own grandma to the grave first."
But that's all he had to say, for Mugabe doesn't like lie spreading infidels. His death was confirmed at about 9:23, because Mugabe doesn't like traitors. Mugabe was not available for comment at the time. But that's not all this article has to say. After this interview, the reporter decided to go to the Jamaican team again, who were revealing what they had up there sleeves!"We would like to think of it as a joke, or a religous conversion, or something like that." "You know what they say In Jamaica!" "Time is money, and religion is shit." This was confusing, but that's what they are. Zombie Drone News reporter -Cough- I mean, Unews reporter out!