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A Pirate I Am:
Captain Diddle of the Seas
Rape, Pillage, Plunder
edit A Thanks
To all the hearties, scalawags, landlubbers, and sea rats who have ever copied edited any fucking word I've ever writen. You're the man now, Dog!
edit My Contribution to the Diddleverse
Some of the articles I created:
- Royal Air Force
- Eleven Commandments
- Los Tres Khans
- Prince Cheddarhaden VII
- Eastminster Parliament
- Kilgore Trout
- General Relativity (essentially)
- Black hole
- Fish ass
- People Are Not Dead (film)
Some Articles I've Dicked Around With:
- Bank of Insanity
- String Theory
- Pound of Sex
- Various Elementary Particles
Apparently, you cannot make circulare reference to a Category. Must be the devious plot of some Ninjas.
edit Currently Sailing the Seas of Religion/Star Wars and Theoretical Physics: Arr!
One of the things I think is the greatest about the Uncyclopedia is that nearly everything benevolent is attributed to Jesus. However, at the same time, I'm disappointed in some of the discrepencies amongst some of the most popular entries, especially the ones relating to Star Wars. In a way to mock both religious fundementalist and star wars fucktards (Although I am a less radical version of both), I will attempt to tie together the entries on Star Wars with the entires on Catholicism, establishing that they are one in the same. By making Jesus the Jedi who brings Balance to The Force, a pre-existing and well-documented idea, I will put the two together.
The schema for this follows: ((Thusly, please feel free to colaborate with me or help me make better decisions on what to change, how to do it, etc, etc, etc)) George Lucas becomes the most gifted Christian prophet of the modern era. He is charged by God to bring to light the downfall of Jesus, the greatest Jedi of all time, as he was Crucified by Sith Lord Palpatine.
Thusly, the Galactic Empire was created, with Palpatine assuming control and making himself Pope and Emperor. Napoleon is his illigimate son.
Meanwhile, the first Pope, Yoda, is sent off to Degoba to do some shit that has not yet been made up. I think he'll mostly dick around in the swamps and mediate. Deciples of Jesus, Mace Windu, Obi Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn are sent to Coruscant to save the Jedi temple from attack by the Sith. Today, the Jedi Temple is known as St. Peter's Bascilica.
Emperor Palpatine sends in the Clones to vanquish the Jedi, but they are all converted to Christianity. His Sith Lords Darth Maul and Count Dooku come in and kill the Clones and steal Obi Wan Kenobi's bike. Qui-Gon Jinn persues Darth Maul, in possesion of Kenobi's bike, and is killed in a most untimely manor. Meanwhile, Dooku recoveres the bike and gives it back to Kenobi in return for some fried chicken.
Furious at his Sith Lords failure to kill all the Jedi, Palpatine throws a hissy fit and kills Mace Windu. Yoda returns from Degoba to fight Palpatine, but neither wins until the Holy Spirit strikes Palpatine off guard and he falls down a shaft. Yoda thanks God, becomes one with The Force, and becomes a Holy Ghost. Obi-Wan Kenobi is left to become the 2nd Pope.
I'm gonna try to make a Template concerning The Seven Deadly Sins, The Seven Cardinal Virtues, and other good stuff about religion. This may or may not occur any time soon.
Furthermore, I've noticed that there aren't any pages about notorious historic peoples, like Blackbeard the pirate. That has to be rectified.
I'll also continue to try and be a good UnCitizen and work on Wildizing stuff and putting things into categories.
Being the pirate I am, I also intent to totally revamp the Piracy category and make some good stuff up about pirates. All the pages seem to be more or less horribly written; and there are too many Ninja advocates around to not have some quality pirate stuff.