User:The1corrupted/Guild of Calamitous Intent

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Guild of Calamitous Intent.
Guild logo

The Guild's symbol. Fear their mighty calamity making!

The Guild of Calamitous Intent or simply referred to as The Guild has been in existence since 1910 in hopes that super heroes and super villains could be evenly matched against one another (largely because the villains were being beaten every time). The Guild of Calamitous Intent is protected from the police and other oppressive governmental law enforcement. The Guild of Calamitous Intent is largely based on it's name, proving much Calamitous Intent to all those that need it.

edit Formation

Just like everything else, The Guild of Calamitous Intent has a beginning. It survived under the guise "U.N.", supposedly meaning "United Nations" but it is still being disputed to this day. David Bowie started The Guild in 1910 even though he was "born" in 1947. He is still known today as Sovereign.

edit Beginning

In 1910, the Guild was first formed due to the fact that super heroes were always overpowering their weaker super villains, and in this chaotic mess of super heroism and super villainism, the Guild of Calamitous Intent was born. The Guild was based so that each super hero or team of super heroes each had at least one super villain to chase around and maim, kill, destroy, etc. Depending on the hero's abilities, that hero may have more than one arch nemesis.

The Guild's first actual assignment was to give Hitler an even match for the duration of WWII, seeing as the French were pansies and the Russians were getting no where. Thus, why the United States of America was dragged into the war.

edit Continuation

The Guild of Calamitous Intent is often wreaking havoc on the modern world and to this day, still cause violence and disruption throughout Europe, as Hitler failed to do so. The Guild also has many operatives in the United States, infiltrating the country in order to learn of any secret plans the U.S. has in mind.

edit Great Battle

There was a great battle between The Monarch and Phantom Limb that resulted in hundreds upon hundreds of casualties but it was against Sovereign's wishes for Phantom Limb to make such an assault on The Monarch in order to gain back his girlfriend, Doctor Girlfriend, who dumped him to begin with. The battle was so great, in fact, the Guild kicked out Phantom Limb and decided to make Doctor Girlfriend their new second-in-command.

edit Structure

Due to the fact that The Guild is an organization, organization is key to making The Guild what it is today. Due to this orderly system, the Guild is very successful in making its members independently known not just for what they did but for who they are.

edit Ranks

First, you have your ranking system. The Guild of Calamitous Intent's ranking system is based on membership time. If you signed up for The Guild, then for each person that has died that signed up before you, you move up one place in their rankings. The only known rank titles are Sovereign and Second-in-Command. Everyone else simply goes by their Super Villain name.

edit Laws

Second, you have the rules of the Guild. The basic rules of the guild are as follows:

  • Kill as many innocent people as you can while fighting your super hero.
  • Do not fight other super villains.
  • Maim, kill, rape, or kidnap any people related to any super heroes.
  • Follow Sovereign's direct orders without question.
  • Wage war when necessary or unnecessary.
  • Do not make nuclear weapons and scare people.
  • Hate the United States of America.

If you choose to walk your own path, that's fine, but if you are a member and break The Guild's rules, you will be kicked out, hunted, and mutilated.

edit Army

The Guild of Calamitous Intent has it's own small army, the size of which has reached around 100,000 members and is currently seeking others. The Guild's main force is comprised of Guild Operatives or "Strangers" that tend to have no known identity. The Guild Operatives even have their own fleet of vehicles.

THIS JUST IN: The Guild of Calamitous Intent is actively seeking members! Join now!


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