User:That Guy Huffed Me/How to:Find Love (For The Mentally Insane)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This page is a work in progress
But let's give it a chance. The author will finish it later.
Health Warning: Putting this template on a page consisting of a few lines or worse will not save you and may actually get you banned.
This page will be re-checked on 27 May 2007

“This helped me Find Love”
~ George W. Bush on How to:Find Love (For The Mentally Insane)

I'm Hitch and I'm gonna help you get some loving

If Your reading this, you are quite literally CRAZY in LOVE. Your'e not quite as intelligent as a mildly retarded Hippo who likes to recollect belts. You have been in and out of the Mental Hospital for the last 10 and years now your in love with a women. Anyways I can help you, I'm Hitch And I'm gonna help you get some loving.

edit Step 1:Stalking

Retardedmanwaving Find the person you love and start stalking them. You should be good at this. It's just like chasing a Squirrel. Except you don't want to jump on her and start riping her apart like you do with the Squirrels. Girls Don't like that kinda stuff they wanna be loved. Try not to get caught and if she sees you in the rose bushs stop touching yourseft and don't give her a creepy half smile. Most girls get sligitly turned off by that kinda stuff.

edit Step 2: Pick Up lines

Needed to break the ice

The Golden Rule

When making up pick up lines don't act crazy

edit Bad:

  • Your place or my mental hospital?
  • Is heaven missing an angle, cause I think it's in my head telling me to kill you...
  • Wow I'm Thristy, can I milk you...
  • So, you're a girl huh? Oh really cause thought you were a man!
  • If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together and maybe your sister.
  • Baby, you're so sweet, I'll eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
  • I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away, And if you stay near me and I get a knife I might just take away your breath!

edit Step 3: Dating and Communications


Imagine what the babies would look like You may think spaming her Email-In-Box with pictures of animals mating will make her feel warm and fuzzy and loved, but your wrong.

edit Step 4:Meeting The Parents

This is it...Hell on earth...For this nerve racking exprience you will need:

  • Wine
  • Your Meds
  • Guns(Or other deadly weaponery)
  • Your Meds
  • Gas can
  • Lighter
  • Your Meds
Personal tools