User:Teddy Bear/Virgin Islands

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A collection of 90 islands in the Caribbean Sea, the Virgin Islands were discovered by Christopher Columbus in 1493, which explains both the name and the chief export of rum. The first state to be governed by Feminists, the Virgin Islands are looked to as a shining example of equal rights between the sexes in a world of male dominated (Manic) countries like Oman,Yemen, Armenia, Germany, and Romania and countries that pretend not to be male dominated (Gallic) like Namibia, Vietnam, Panama, Suriname, and the United States of America (note the cunning backwards writing, a sure sign of a secret conspiracy).


edit Geography

Made up of 10 small islands and approximately 80 rocks, the Virgin Islands are situated in the Caribbean Sea, and like all islands in this area have a thriving population of pirates, malaria, Reggae ‘artists’ and malaria. Being part of the tropics, the Virgin Islands has a large tourist population ever year, which comes to sample their white beaches, Reggae and malaria while being robbed by buccaneers.

Many of the islands once had mountains in the classic rounded mammary shape, but these were leveled for being too suggestive when the new government came into power, other important features removed include the Virgin Crevasse, Nudey Beach, and all male genitalia.

When first discovered by Westerners, the Virgin Islands were thought to be part of India; when it was later discovered to be part of America, this resulted in the immediate wiping out of the Islands beef stocks, which had taken to herding through the city streets, causing gridlock, migraines and a massive organic fertiliser industry.


edit History

Prior to colinisation by westerners, the Virgin Islands had a large population of Native American Indians, but these were wiped out by the Spanish, none of the original population remains now, only 500 years later. The Islands were fought over by the Spanish, French, English, Dutch, Danish and Americans over 100’s of years, seeing only marginally less violence than the average game of Australian Rules football, but eventually (by right of conquest and an extremely hard-fought badminton match) it was agreed that 3 of the islands and most of the rocks would belong to Britain, and that the rest would come under the sovereignty of the US. Separating these two is a large sea-wall known as the Virgin Barrier, which reduces the number of times inhabitants from the different areas must meet and has also resulted in the crippling of British Virgin Islands fishing industry.

edit Economics

The economies of both the US and British islands is dependent on rum, fish and self-help books. All income goes towards the import of fresh water, of which there is absolutely none on the islands. All water is the property of the state, and is rationed out in the effort to reduce non-feminist activities like Car Washing, Gardening and Wet T-shirt contests.

Exports: Rum, Dried Fish, Malaria, Fresh Fish, Pirates, Rotten Fish, Sugar Cane, Sushi, Tofu, Bob Marley impersonators, feminists, whale blubber, Polaroid cameras, self-help textbooks (available at Amazon.com bookstore for $14.99 + Postage & Handling) and Fish Cakes.

Imports: Tourists, Water.

In a short-lived effort in diversity and acceptance in 1966, the US Dollars, Euro, Pound Sterling and the small pebbles used by the native Indians were all adopted as the national currency, and operate on a roster system.

edit Politics

Since some of the Virgin Islands are part of America, the American Senate moved in 1989 to make them another State, effectively giving the U.S. the rights to raise taxes and to take a cut in the profits from the tourist industry. However, it was decided that the cost of producing an accurate flag with an extra star for every public school could result in the crashing of the US stock market, so the Virgin Islands continue to be part of the US in a strictly unofficial capacity through the Department of the Interior (which may or may not exist).

The feminist government of the Islands is unique around the world. To gain a place in the senate, a citizen must be a member of the ruling Greer Party, also known unofficially as the Killing Babies Party, and must be first inducted into the feminist society by writing and publishing a self-help book. The government is made up of 100 Senators, and 300 aides. Since the overall population of the islands is 1000 people, the society is acclaimed for the large amount of government participation. The other 600 inhabitants of the islands are either male, native or the Queen of England, and as such have no political clout whatsoever. The Islands also have a governor appointed by the US, but he died of malaria in 1950, and no attempt has been made to replace him, this is probably part of a conspiracy.

The Virgin Islands is a champion of equal rights, and a model society for equality between the sexes and races. Although the male population has been emasculation, persecuted and forced into hard labour, none of them have ever complained, so it must be alright. Some sources suggest this is because they have had their tongues cut out but this is a flagrant lie. As to native population, since none of them remain, it if fair to suggest that they are perfectly happy with the government and a multicultural policy similar to that of Australia in the 1930’s. This is NOT a secret conspiracy because it is perpetrated by females, who are (as every husband knows) above the law.

edit Advanced Computational Physics

Yeah, umm, E=MC2. So there.

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