User:Sydneymines/Sydney Mines, Nova Scotia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Yup

Beautiful isn't it.

Sydney Mines is located on the beautiful eastern coast of Cape Breton Island.

Known for its outstanding job bases which include lobster fishing, pizza flippers, self-employed liquor dispensers, and of course, pogey. Most popular of the jobs though does seem to be the rising occupation of self employed pharmacy technicians of disperse illegal prescription drugs, such as marijuana, hashish, oxycottin, and ritlin, to the hard working people in this town. The education in this town is top notch. Starting in one of the various elementary schools and eventually evolving into one of Memorial High School's, drug addicts, drug sellers, or if the girls are lucky they might get pregnant before they reach 16. Sydney mines has an astonishing population of 3,000,000 people, no doubt because of the teen pregnancy rates going through the roof (Special thanks to the 10 year olds practising for this prestigious honor). We also have all of our main attractions on one street for your convenience, Main Street. Main street is home to almost all of the prestigious business we have grown to love. Robins donuts, where not only policemen go for their coffee and donuts but the little chippies who look up to these righteous men, join them by sitting outside, on the concrete, enjoying there favorite pastime... Throwing either (depending on the season) rocks, apples, and snowballs on ongoing cars. Sometimes these little ones are even lucky and some people will stop and chase them, and that's a thrill. Sydney Mines has 2, not just one, but 2 of the most gorgeous and fun filled 'night clubs' in the world named Montys and Mikes. This is where you'll find all the cougars on the prowl at night. Also we have our huge supermarket where all of the residents of Sydney Mines come out and enjoy the variety of foods such as kraft dinner and mini pizzas. But when the end of the month comes, that's when the welfare checks are out and you are advised to stay indoors. But the most popular place in this fine town is the liquor store(NSLC). This is where the whole family, Dad, Mom, and the kids and even the Sydney Mines Librarians all gather at 8 in the morning and wait for the doors to open, just hoping and praying that maybe there might be some goodies on sale today. Only time will tell.

edit Famous people

The most popular person in this great town is the famous BOO SMITH. This hard workin' man keeps our streets clean from bottles. Getting 5 cents per bottle really adds up. Its a little smelly when Boo walks by but god love him hes just to busy cleaning up our streets and takin them bottles to the bottle depot to get a shower. Boo Smith is a HERO! I love you boo, you mean the world to me baby.

Another of our famous residents is Richie Penny, who keeps our streets clean with his trusty tools, and rocks out on the corner.

edit Various Hangouts

The Barricks - The spray painted remains of a war or something, god only knows, but this is a very popular place for all of the 14 year old chippies to go have some fun, get drunk, get high, and have lots and lots of wild chippie sex on top of all the broken beer bottles.

The Coral - This place is only cool if your into the needle thing, its always fun to poke yourself with a needle and wait to feel the high. Used to be a horse coral, now its either a drug place or somewhere to get a buzz on. Most likely drinking Colt 45 the most awesome and cheapest drink you can get. $5.50 a bottle, can't go wrong.

Robin's Donuts - A place for the younger chippies, the cool ones who throw rocks and stuff and try and break things because of course, its the cool thing to do.

Montys - A former popular club in town that is famous for its wings, and cougars. The cougars even invested in their very own condom machine to put in the bathroom, just in case of emergency. R.I.P Montys

Mikes - Another popular club, located right next door to montys, this place is still booming with cougars that are on the prowl for some new meat and most likely a few new condom machines as well. (If there's none left ask one of the cougars they may have some extras)

The Rink - One of the only places in this town that isn't completely filled with cougars or drugs. Its a place where the Zamboni drivers ( Crowe, Dub, & Roy) call home. A place where your bound to find a couple arseholes and see a few fights. Or go see the girls at the canteen, they'll make you some poutine bi.

Main Street- This is where everyone drives up and down the street showing off their cars when they got nothing else to do on a summers day.

edit Commonly Used Phrases & Names of Places

Right Edofer - Very Drunk/High

Jeet? - Did you eat?

Twirley Teet. - To early to eat.

Da Red Row - Row of welfare houses that are all red.

Da Barricks - Remains of a war. God knows what one.

The Jungle - A bunch of welfare apartments down by notre dame. ( Never Venture Alone)

Yeah Me Arse - Simply put, it means no.

Save me yer butt bi. - Save me half of your smoke.

Save me puff bi. - Save me a little bit of your smoke.

Save me yer cotton. - Yes cotton.

Killer. - A guy who hangs around sydney mines you can see him around Robins Donuts but Killer is only his nickname and if you are looking for him you are better off going to Robins and ask for him there because every one there knows him, he is always wearing his black leather jacket.

edit See also

Personal tools
projects