User:Swordmaster

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Leagueofbenson This user is a member of the League of Benson, and therefore admits that Benson is better than this user.
en-N This user is a native speaker of English.
rh-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Random Humour.
17-X This user only speaks 1337 enough to seduce native 1337 speakers.
Sword-fighter Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.


edit News

12-5-06 Joined the LEAGUE OF BENSON today. Death to our foes and stuff like that.

10-4-06 Made my first UnNews article: UnNews:Nothing happens, world in chaos. Read it, and maybe feature it. Or if you think it's really really bad, fix it. UPDATE: Severian made it into an mp3! KTHX Sev.

9-19-06 Haharrr! Oi made me a template on Talk Like a Pirate Day! Bend ya backs, ye scurvy dogs! And put it wherever you think 'twould be appropriate (like yer page)!

3-27-06 My first full article that actually has a chance at not being VFQD'd! Bay of Pigs (video game) will be up today!

2-10-06 Will disappear to watch the Olympics. Be back in a couple weeks.

1-13-06 Returned from a one day vacat... Oh, for crying out loud. I got blocked for editing a UN:* page. My apologies to Keitei and the rest of the Uncyclopedic crew.

Real Name: Jorge Ramerez

Hometown: Florin

Occupation: Adventurer

Age: 37

Martial Status: Sworded

Bio:

I was born in Florin, the son of a famous blacksmith. As a boy I spent a great deal of time working with my father, and bullying the other children of the area. While I was never very big, I always carried a weapon or six. Or seventeen.
At the age of 14, my father was killed by a six-fingered bastard. Seeing for the first time a strong male role-model, I myself picked up a sword and began killing people. This led to a great career, and I spent many years in the service of kings, priests, and madmen. Mostly madmen.
Now that I'm 37, I've started to slow-down my killing spree and spend a little more time enjoying the finer parts of life. Like stichery, gardening, and poetry. I still skewer the occasional spleen, but for the most part, I consider myself retired.

Future Plans:

With a great deal of swordplay behind me, I am now starting my second career. A stay-at-home-mother for the last six months, my work skills are sadly out-of-date. I've been working on my typing skills, and am applying for a position as secretary for a posh armory. I feel that my sword skills combined with my accounting and filing skills should land me my new dream job.

Hobbies:

I like killing things, sharpening my swords, adventuring, and posting on Uncyclopedia.

Crushes:

The Man in Black was dreamy, as were the Men in Black. I guess I have a thing for black. Or men. Or Wo-men.

Friends:

If you are on this list, then Divine Sophia has obviously blessed you.
(currently under construction)

Enemies:

If you are on this list, may Wilde have mercy and smite you painlessly.
(under construction)

Other things you should know about me:

I have 15 swords, 9 daggers, and three dirks. I am searching for a red lightsaber.
My middle name is Montoya.
I drive a '94 Chevy Impalla. But I'd rather ride a horse and cut down enemies. The company doesn't have a good place to park a horse, though.
I love Star Wars. (beause of the swords, duh!)
I am a Cancer.
Swordmaster = Rewards most.

edit Stats

Articles Written or ReWritten: 7
Word association -don't know what I was thinking, got deleted
Bay of Pigs (video game)
Napoleonic Wars (video game)- never finished, huffed
Narcolepsy - huffed
UnNews:Nothing happens, world in chaos.
Calorington
F-Zero - currently under construction!
Articles Killed (Quick Delete): 10
During FFW: 2
Page Moves: 1
Calorington to Calorington (town)
Editing Bans: 1 (Jan 12 2006)
IRC Bans: 1 (Apr 13 2006, lasted until Apr 20 2006)

Contact me: Leave a message on my Talk Page

(Thank you Famine for the page. However, I felt I could do some additions. You can too! Please try to ruin this page!)

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