User:Sweatsweat/Attack Force

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Sweatsweat/Attack Force.
Spork This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia.

/Irony ON


A non-alien thriller completly alien-free!

“I laughed, i cried, i”
~ Oscar Wilde on Attack Force
“A worthy and beautiful film, even if it's no Delta Force.”
~ Chuck Norris on Attack Force
“I SAW it from the beginning to the end, and it all made sense.”
~ Jigsaw on Attack Force

Attack Force AKA THE GREATEST FILM EVER CREATED IN THE HISTORY OF THIS AND ALL OTHER UNIVERSES directed by God herself starring The great and omnipotent Steven Seagal. It was released to further the glorius humanity in 2006, also known as Two-thousand-and-ATTACK FORCE!.

edit Plot Summary


A deadly CTX Operative!

(Actually, not really a spoiler... i mean, who hasn't seen this film? I mean, really, come on!) Marshall Lawson (Saviour, Messiah, man with hands like lightning bolts) loses his lame ass strike-team in a cold-blooded and seemingly random attack by aliens... not really aliens though, but a girl with strange eyes and superpowers. All in all a totally non-alien event. After this he takes it upon himself to investigate the suspicious circumstances of the brutal killings. Soon he uncovers ALIENS!!!!... Urhm, not aliens, but... CTX Majestic(EVEN BETTER AS A PLOT DEVICE! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?), a covert military operation so secret, so deadly, so alien... no, not alien at all... that chicks eyes are like that because of... drugs, yeah, drugs.... PHEW! Dodged that bullet with a great plot twist! Now now the military wants Marshall eliminated and/or dead. Resolute in his pursuit, Marshall engages in a merciless battle with a drug dealer operation that appears to be secretly funded by ALIENS... No, but...a rogue arm of the military! Yeah!

edit Trivia

  • The movie was INCREDIBLY well received, even among Seagal's die-hard fans.
  • For large portions of the movie, Mr. Seagal was dubbed by another actor, WHO TOTALLY ROCKED AND SOUNDED JUST LIKE STEVEN SEAGAL HIMSELF!!... really, honestly... he did.
  • A remake of the critically well received Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
  • Written by Steven Seagal & Joe Help-Me

edit Cast (in credits order)

/Irony OFF

Personal tools