User:Suresh/Infinity

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Crystalball This article or section is able to see into The Future.
Although Wikipedia is not a crystal ball, Uncyclopedia is, so we get to say what happens in the future and they don't.
“What? What about 1/0? I'm supposed to be in it? Oh, sh--I spilled my coffee. Oh-my-god, this is sooo stupid. I'm totally out of here.”
~ Infinity on Bringing Down the Universe
“If we allow the mind an endless progression of thought, without ever completing the idea, there we have our idea of infinity [...] In other words only druggies have access to a picture of infinity.”
~ Locke on Infinity

Infinity is philosophical concept invented by Cantor in 1850 used to prove that mathematics is all wrong. Before the infinity was invented, math seemed to make all sens, but by cleverly adding and multiplying ordinary numbers with infinity, Cantor finally proved that mathematics nothing is but a heap of senseless mumbo jumbo primarilly used to torture kids with is school in an attempt to stop them from reaching puberty.

It is now commonly thought that the number infinity is a large positive integer. Many consider that infinity cannot be considered as a number because it cannot be defined. This idea was first brought into belief at half past lunchtime, on Wednesday 12th June, 1278, by Charline Mahamudd(the great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great eat great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great 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great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandson of Zia Mahmood), who conspired to create as many impossibly difficult maths problems as possible.

Infinity repeatedly denies rumours of plotting with zero to bring down the Universe.

edit Absolute Infinity

Pythagorean mathematics defined infinity as "a boundless amount of stuff that just keeps on going", a definition that went unquestioned for millennia, 'cuz Pythagoreans didn't know much maths outside of geometry, until the mathematician Georg Cantor proved that there are many kinds of infinity. Cantors' proof is elegant and unquestionable. See the following:

The series 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... going on forever (the set of all positive integers) is infinite, it will never stop. This is also called Aleph Null, Hebrew for "I have AIDS," as in, I really should've worn a condom last night.

The series 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 ... going on forever (the set of all positive even numbers) is also infinite, it will never stop.

The series 3, 6, 9, 12, 15... going on forever (the set of every third number) will actually usually stop at 90 for reasons no one can yet explain.

However there are twice as many entries in the first series. It is twice as infinite.

So it is easy to show that there are at least two different infinities. Cantor actually showed that there are actually infinity-plus-n-times-some-other-infinities, which he called Absolute Infinity. Of course if you count absolute infinity also there are absolute infinity plus 1 infinities, leading to another, bigger Absolute Infinity. Since it is completely impossible to mathematically describe an infinity of infinities (infinity to the power of infinity + 1) Cantor proposed that we use instead the number 10,000. It's big, it's round and it is usually big enough to describe anything we care about.

Dave: "How big is the universe, Ms. Crail?"

Ms. Crail: "Pretty fuckin' big, Dave."

Dave: "But howww big?"

Ms. Crail: "10,000, Dave."

Dave: "Wow!"

edit The "Fallen 8" Theory

Some theorists believe that infinity is, in fact, a toppled number 8 unable to return to its former state. Therefore, said number 8 concluded that, to become popular once again, it must find a new identity.

edit The Actual Number Erroneously Called Infinity

It is a common assumption that Infinity is a really annoyingly long line of 9s (and one 8 hidden somewhere in there) that takes several dozen pages to display, but this assumption is completely false.

It was also thought that Infinity is exactly equal to the positive integer 1,311,816,698,160,515,433,814,079,545,274,548,427,361,892,212,496. After rigorous scientific testing and experimenting, it was determined that all numbers after this point begin to blur together, so much so that no human worth listening to can tell them apart. To avoid confusion, they were all summed up under a single name, infinity.

However some more rigorous scientific testing determined that another number did not blur, namely the positive integer 1,311,816,698,160,515,433,814,079,545,274,548,427,361,892,212,497. Even more of such testing found that 1,311,816,698,160,515,433,814,079,545,274,548,427,361,892,212,497.000000000000000000000000001, however, does not blur either. Therefore, new infinity's lower bound is equal to 1,311,816,698,160,515,433,814,079,545,274,548,427,361,892,212,497.000000000000000000000000001.

(Interestingly, 1,311,816,698,160,515,433,814,079,545,274,548,427,361,892,212,500 was proven to not blur either. It's a strange world, is it not?)

edit Infinity in actual math

\sum_\infty^\pi = p = {F \over E} \times \infty \pi  \pi^\infty

  • P=Pressure
  • E=Eureka!
  • X=Almost obvious
  • Pi=Free Food!!
  • F=Farting Power

Allowing anything to be plotted into the correct letters one comes with an answer that almost always leads to New York.

Infinite force:

\sum_\infty^ F = O \int T=i \ S=0

  • F=Force of Farting
  • O=Object
  • T=Time
  • I=Implosion
  • S=MySpace

This is almost always equal to the Cherokee word for Palatial consonants.

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