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“Hi here's a few details - Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start, where was I again? Nooooo!”
~ Stat on playing Yahtzee

What do you want <insert name here>? Yes YOU! Who else would I be speaking to?!

~ Stat on You. Yes you <insert name here>! Didn't we just cover that? Jeesh!

“I love it!”
~ YTTE on vandalising other user's pages

edit Static a.k.a. Stat or the Sockman

Normal boothead

Stat shown here. Non-descript, just a likeness, not actual photo.

Stat is an evil sock puppet bent on world domination, a Traffic Cone Kitten_Huffing expert, sticking it to the man by running his own comedy website, killing spammers and genetically modified chickens as he goes. He resides in the land of Arse on planet N00b, oops I meant planet Krapsody and quotes his life as being loosely based on the life of Philleas Fogg, by loosely based he means he has no idea in hell who Philleas Fogg was.

edit Notable Achievements

Go to UN:AAN for adoption

"New to the world of wiki and am jus now learning the ropes of wiki-ness, the only wiki-ing I knows is the turntable scratching kind... "". hAlP me! HaLp ME! "

~ Stat on being a N00b

Contributions: Edited the following Uncyclopedia articles

  • Cuba (Added Cuba Gooding Jr. to the famous Cubans list)
  • Popeye_the_Sailor_Man (Addendum: 1. under Sub-heading: The Great Spinach Famine)
  • Gorilla (Nike swoosh/Gorilla image and section on Gorilla marketing)
  • Tokyo (Subheading: Origins of the Japanese Monsters)
  • Robots (Subheading: The New Era - incl images)
  • What next? Your guess is as good as mine!

"What next? Your guess is as good as mine! Muhahahaha!" ~ Stat on guessing

edit Other Notable Achievements

Stat can often be found roaming the countryside amongst the trees shirtless with berries and mud smeared all over him looking for evidence of Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and is the world's foremost expert on Gorilla Marketing and inventor of the largest Fleshlight, the Semilight 1000.

Pink-ish non-descript, mouth, vagina, anus photo. Once thought impossible the Semilight 1000 can hold quite a load.

Stat also wrote an intensive biography about Poppy E the Sailorman, later known as Popeye the Sailorman. Clarifying that Popeye, tried to take over the world under the influence of the drug Cheese and all it's Velveeta-ey goodness, but was thwarted by Bob who cursed Popeye with hideously fat ass arms, NOT the popular belief that Popeye was a chronic masturbator, as illustrated by his gargantuan forearm muscles.

Additionally, Stat came up with a mathematic formulaic invention that describes the obsurity of abstract reality tv shows such as "Flavor of Love" and thought processes like "Why am I wearing these pants" and other deep questions.


Yes, your guess is as good as ours. By "ours", we mean the less than intellectual genius inner child locked inside your basement playing Xbox360 with Gay Bigfoot.

edit Interests

Stat's other interests include- Converting O2 to CO2 Chewing his toenails Watching grass grow Artsy fartsy stuff Music Offbeat news Comedy Humor Funny stuff Rant Bizarre Insane Weird Randomness Keeping notes on whom he's going to get revenge on next Midget tossing and more! y'know typical guy stuffs... ↑ Don't end up with stupid!

Favorite quote: "If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them." Jack Handy - Deep Thoughts

edit External links

edit Additional Info

This user page is still under construction - so deal with the squalor or make like a n00b and GTFOzb1!!!

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