User:Sonic80/Politics

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Palestinians throwing stones.sized
In some third world countries, Ancient Mesopotamian methods of politics are still enforced.
Politics (derived from the prefix poli- a misspelling of poly, meaning many, and the root word, -tic a misspelling of tick, which is a form blood sucking insect) is the art of being wrong. It is an archaic idea, dating back to ancient Mesopotamia, where two men who had different views on a current event would stone each other until one of the two was dead. The victor was considered the more powerful of the two, and people would be more willing to believe what he said.

Such barbaric politics are no longer used in most countries throughout the world.

edit What countries use politics?

Politics as a governing body has been outlawed in most civilized countries. America and most of the European Union are most widely known for their resistance to eliminating politics.

edit Politicians

edit Lobbyists

edit Corruption

Corruption is a ritual practiced by most modern day politicians. Corruption takes from the ancient Aztec belief in blood sacrifice, only instead of blood, modern day corruption is done with dignity sacrifice.

Politics blow

edit Political Parties

Political Parties are

edit Democrat

edit Republican

edit Third Parties

Oops, were you looking for bitches?

edit Tea Parties

Main article: Tea Parties

edit Differences between Left and Right politics

edit Abortion

  • Left:
  • Right:

edit Religion

  • Left:
  • Right:

edit Same-sex Marriages

  • Left: "Gays are fully functioning members of our society! How could we possibly alienate them? We should allow them to openly marry then they will be able to breed little gay babies that will grow up to help the straight people know what is cool to wear! We could turn America into a gay-farm!
  • Right: "Gays! Gays everywhere! How can we ever survive with all these gays coming into our lives and gaying it up? If we don't pass laws banning gay people from living we will all eventually become... GAY! Oh god... how could anyone let this happen?!?! Pass the anti-Gay laws NOW!

edit Marijuana and Other Drugs

  • Left: "Dude, like, Marijuana isn't bad for you. Its all natural, as in it grows in the ground! Are you saying Mother Nature made something bad? Marijuana kills less people than alcohol, smoking, and driving collisions COMBINED! The message is clear: LEGALIZE IT!"
  • Right: "Marijuana is not accessible enough! To solve the drug problem Marijuana should be legalized so that the appeal among the Counter-Culture will be lower. It makes sense. Just think about it!"

edit Space Travel

  • Left: "The Earth is going to hell with all these global warmings. What we really need is to develop settlements on Mars! No, not the moon. FUCK THE MOON! The moon couldn't support us with our modern ways! The moon is like the League of Nations of heavenly bodies. We need to use Mars to protect the Human race from extinction (and maybe some monkeys. Not the ones that throw poop though)!"
  • Right:

edit Time Travel

  • Left:
  • Right:
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