User:Sonic80

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Welcome to Sonic80: UnNews Correspondent extraordinaire.
Usually adds 3-4 new articles a week, Monday-Saturday at random.
Whenever I feel like it.

July 6, 2009 14:28 UTC

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"...and may god have mercy on us all..."

Swine Flu, Part 2 trailer released

LOS ANGELES, California - The last time we saw the Swine Flu it had ravaged across the great country of Mexico. It spread its unstoppable vengeance throughout the United States. It even got all mighty France to surrender. But is it done wreaking havoc upon the earth?

NO!

Its the most vengeful disease to spread across the world since Bird Flu, the most violent disease since Mad Cow, and it is not done!
» Full story



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FEATURED STORY

Looking back over the last few weeks, it was painfully obvious that the girl was not quite a girl.

China confirms ugly girl is just a bird

HONG KONG, China - China has finally announced that the "world's ugliest girl," who has gained much Chinese media attention over the last two months, was just a normal bird.

Mia Chichua was supposedly born on November 9th, 2008, in the bustling Chines city of Hong Kong to roughly two and a third parents, according to the hospital in which she was delivered. The girl was given the title of "world's ugliest girl" on December 27th, 2008 by the government of China, surpassing the ugliness of the previous holder of the title by .061 on the ugliness scale, developed in 1962 by the Chinese scientist Hong Mio Da. Chichua was given a score of 9.173 out of a possible 10.
» Full story



File photo of the indicted Cheney.

Cheney indicted of 67 counts of grand larceny of the jolliest extent

WASHINGTON D.C. - Secret files were found last night in the boxes of papers that Vice President Dick Cheney has deemed as not important enough to get into the National Archives, which link the Vice President to 67 failed attempts at stealing Christmas.

The papers prove that Cheney has attempted to steal Christmas every year since the year of his birth. These cases have been deemed "grand larceny of the jolliest extent," and Cheney faces indictment on 67 counts of it.
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