User:Sog1970/Interactive Periodic Table/Po

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Polonium2

A Nazi image of Polonium from 1944 showing a concentration camp at its centre.

Discovered in 763 by pioneering Polish alchemist Zrrbtkk Kzylylowski, until recently Polonium was most frequently found under the heel of Germanium. In previous centuries, however, it has disappeared from the Periodic Table altogether, its space occupied by neighbouring elements.

Despite over a millennium having passed since its first isolation, the general public have little knowledge of Polonium since ingestion of even trace quantities has disastrous effects on the brains of researchers. The speech-centre is particularly badly affected, rendering any attempted communication of the element’s properties into a continuous buzzing noise, and any written treatise into a random collection of K’s, Z’s and W’s.

The most usual form of Polonium is a white crystalline solid, usually torroidal in shape, the central part having been stolen by Russians. In this form, Polonium is soluble in water, violently so in Diet Coke.

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