User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/People like you

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
“No, people don't like you.”
~ Captain Obvious on Everybody you hate

People like you is a mysterious demographic that has proven very difficult to categorize. Recent attempts have been largely unsuccessful, mainly due to a profound lack of interest.

Current thinking has led to the following three theories:

edit People like you in debate

Very often, it has been shown that people like you refer to individuals who are responsible for many of the great ills of society; particularly in America. This much has been gleaned from conversation with people of an especially pronounced political persuasion, e.g. liberals and conservatives. It has often been found that such people will often attach blame for various problems on people like you, usually in a heated debate. For example;

"People like you are the reason why King Jesus hates America."

"This country would have a lot more black people if it weren't for people like you."

edit People like you in advertising

In a dramatic contrast to the previous theory, the world of advertising has provided an alternative explanation. Instead of presenting a negative connotation, as debates between liberals and conservatives often show, advertising attempts to portray people like you in a positive light, or even as a role model. The usual theme they employ involves the implication that people like you are already using their products or services, and you are obviously falling behind. For example:

"People like you are already feeling the benefits of Depends. Why aren't you?"

"We already know just how great value our cheap loans from Kneecap Finance are. Just listen to this string of bankrupt divorcees and redneck yokels - people like you - for proof."

edit People like you in general

This last theory involves the general concept of being liked by people in general. The truthiness of this statement is purely subjective, and often varies from person to person. For example;

"Look Earl, I'm telling you, most people like you. I mean it. Now please, come back off the ledge."

"Well sir, people like you for your ruthless efficiency and charming sense of fun. The time you banned lunch breaks and the time you laid off half the work force on a whim are both good examples of this."

edit See also

Personal tools