User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/HowTo:Make a Toothpick out of a Raccoon's Penis

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Don't perform this with a girlfriend. It doesn't impress them, trust me.

How do you make a toothpick out of a raccoon's penis is the question. Or rather Why would you make a toothpick out of a racoon's penis? But that is a question for another article. You see a male racoon's penis is the only animal's penis that has a bone in it. This way you can make a homemade bone toothpick out of a racoon's penis. All around fun for family night!

edit Steps to Making a Raccoon Penis Bone Toothpick

edit Step One: Catching the Raccoon

Most supermarkets or local department stores don't carry raccoon penis for some reason. I know its ridiculous. Anyway, you have to set a raccoon trap. First, if you don't live in an area with raccoons, you can't make a raccoon penis toothpick. So you might as well stop reading this right now. If you live in an area with racoon's then continue reading. Do start the trap, you must fill a garbage can with food scraps and extremely strong poison that will kill the raccoon on the spot. Then leave the trash can open overnight and wait.

Search your yard and neighbors' yards for dead raccoons. Some may have survived the poison enough to crawl away before dying.

Hopefully, you will find at least one raccoon. If not, wait a few days, you'll get one eventually. If you have more than one, great! That means more toothpicks! Anyway dispose of all other dead animals found in trash can. Also, make sure that the raccoon, and all other animals, are dead. A good way to make sure is to shoot the animals, dead or not, in the trash can. That way you'll know they are dead. If you don't have access to a gun, use a knife.
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