User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/ARISTOCRATS
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Associates of the Revolutionary Intergovernmental Society for Total Oppression and the Creation of a Radically Authoritarian and Totalitarian State, or ARISTOCRATS for short, is a secret society that supports total oppression and wishes to establish a radically authoritarian and totalitarian state, as one might have guessed. This organization is responsible for a variety of atrocities, which will be mentioned later on in the article. The secrets of this organization were almost revealed to the whole world when a traitor to their goals hacked the ARISTOCRATS database and contacted the FBI. The following events were constructed using various secret computer servers[the less you know, the better]...
- FBI: So what's all this data you sent us?
- Hacker: It reveals all the secrets of the biggest secret society you have never heard of.
- FBI: Cool. So what have these guys been doing all this time?
- Hacker: Well, they did the whole global warming scam.
- FBI: Yeah, obviously. Is that all?
- FBI: Right. Anything else?
- Hacker: They're also responsible for most of the wars that occurred last century.
- FBI: And...
- Hacker: They also invented homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality, coprophilia, urolagnia, incest... Do I need to go on?
- FBI: Holy shit! How do these motherfuckers call themselves?
- Hacker: The ARISTOCRATS.
The FBI headquarters suddenly explodes
- Hacker: What the fuck just happened?
Some random guy with a flamethrower walks in and burns the hacker dude to shreds
The camera zooms out to reveal a mysterious figure watching the events on a number of screens
- Mysterious figure: The ARISTOCRATS indeed.
The mysterious figure starts laughing maniacally
- Mysterious figure: MUAHAHAHAHA!