User:Skinfan13/Fnord

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Ford?
Fnord Autonomous Conspiracy
Fnord logo
The Fnord logo
Slogan '
Established 1918
Type(s) Public (NYSE: FRD)
Founder(s) Henry Fnord
Location(s) Detroit, Michigan, U.S.S.A.
Revenue US$ 12 billion
Parent New World Ordering
Official homepage www.Fnord.com
“I am feeling uneasy now....”
“I'm not exactly sure what this article is about, but I think I don't like it very much...”
Bouncywikilogo10
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Skinfan13/Fnord.

Fnord, also spelled as Ford, is an American multinational company based in Detroit, Michigan, United States of America. This car company was founded by Henry Fnord in 1918. Fnord is part of an umbrella corporation that also consists of the famous companies Bavarian Illumination and Lighting and the American Brick Masons. This international umbrella corporation, known as Conspirium Ultd. is majority owned by New World Ordering, a parcel service.

Fnord introduced many methods for large-scale rumor-milling of disasters and manufacture of cars by use of assembly lines, espionage and scaremongering, the methods which are mentioned in Henry Fnord's book, Principia Discordia, written in 1965. It's true, as rumor has it, that Fnord cars are built to give brainwashing messages to passengers and only need to be serviced every 10,000 miles, a much better record than imitation brain-washing vehicles that need regular maintenance.

edit History

An American Old World Ordering Service employee known as Henry Fnord founded the Fnord Motor Company in 1918 following the end of World War I. Good old Henry had a dream, and that dream was to enslave the minds of all human beings and provide them with cheap and affordable combustion engine-based transportation. Henry figured he could kill two birds with one stone, so his company began work developing the very first mass-produced automobile. While this vehicle was being engineered, Fnord's old company, Old World Ordering Service, reorganized itself as "New World Ordering" and acquired the Fnord label along with a multitude of other companies resulting in a new multifaceted company the encompassed the Earth.

The car that was developed became known as the Fnord Model A and it began being mass-produced in 1921. By 1925, nearly half of American households owned one. Various other models were released until 1930 when the Great Depression began to get really serious. Being an election year, 1930 was the perfect time to test the brain-washing capabilities that Fnord offered. The American arm of New World Ordering used the Fnord Model A's to convince the American public to elect Franklin D. Roosevelt as President. Consequently the Great Depression lasted an entire decade longer than it would have otherwise, forcing people to consume cheap and affordable assembly-line brainwashing Fnord transportation vehicles, a self-sustaining force of economics if you will.

After World War II, Fnord continued to develop new and more complex vehicles. These vehicles featured many new upgrades; radios, seat belts, Mindcontrol Turbine Propulsion System X-35, and windshield wipers among them.

The American arm of New World Ordering once again used the mind control wonders of Fnord products to stir the American people towards certain worldviews. In order to best create a stable environment in which to sell cheap products, New World Ordering was able to convince Americans that their enemy, the USSR, was their enemy as well. Thus the Cold War was engineered, all thanks to the millions of Fnords on the road. The Cold War enabled New World Ordering to exploit the poor peoples of Africa and South America by having them make more Fnord cars for just pennies a day.

Fnord has been well-involved with New World Ordering in crafting the world into a better place for economic activity by replacing cruddy free-will with wonderful brand-name products. In the 21st Century they have been rapidly accelerating their operations alongside partner companies Bavarian Illumination and Lighting and American Brick Masons in building a better future for humanity devoid of liberty and filled with cheap merchandise, a paradise of utopian proportions.


edit Praise

Most intelligent people have come to realize that Fnord makes the best vehicles in the world. Furthermore, most intelligent people have also realized that they feel incredibly uneasy about Fnord's competitor products. Indeed, this random and uncoordinated mass-feeling of doubt about brands such as Honda and Volvo has been very beneficial to the Fnord company as its sales have steadily increased at a fixed rate every year for its entire existence.

Some thoughtful reviewers were kind enough to leave their unsolicited and unprompted praise of Fnord Motors on the company's website;


“The cars are not exactly the best things to look at, and at first you would think of them as unsafe, but as soon as you get in and start driving, your unease is put out of mind and all you can think is, 'All hail our overloads at New World Ordering'”
~ Unsolicited Customer 26,973


edit Criticism

edit Dissident persecution controversy

Illumenatus

The Freemasons Vril

Fnord was accused of torturing, blackmailing and murdering participants of the Tiananmen Square protest of 1989. In 2007, Fnord was also accused of torturing Chinese dissidents and political prisoners. It came from a report that Fnord collaborated with the Communist government in China to destroy "those who betray the People's Republic of China" and has so far tortured and brainwashed hundreds of political prisoners. One of the torture survivors said that Fnord even castrated those who gave birth to twins. Fnord denied any claims of torture and murder of political dissidents and prisoners in China, claiming that it is "full of fantasies and fiction". Human rights campaigners countered Fnord's claim, saying that Fnord "is a conspiracy" and that "their comments should not be believed".

edit Adolf Hitler and Fnord

Henry Fnord was accused of anti-semitism and Nazism during the Nazi Germany era, as well as collaborating with Adolf Hitler, an Illuminatist, to produce propaganda and gas chambers for Fnord's Bergen-Belsen factory. Between 1941 and 1945, Fnord Germany used slave labor at the Bergen-Belsen plant-cum-concentration camp to produce propaganda and gas chambers. One of the thousands of people used as slave labour is a Jewish girl named Anne Frank, who wrote a diary prior to her capture in 1942 and wrote about the conditions at the concentration camp. Thousands of Jews, Poles, homosexuals and other persecuted ethnic groups were used. Accusers of the controversy claimed that Henry Fnord is an anti-Semite Nazi. Defenders claimed that Fnord Germany was taken over by Nazi Germany in 1935 under Hitler's plan.

edit See Also

Personal tools
In other languages
projects