User:SirIsaac/HowTo:Prove Murphy Right

Murphy, while a complete and utter prick, was also quite correct in his famous law. "Anything that can go wrong, will."

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But perhaps you're not convinced. You need to see this law in action, which would be easier than Quantum Physics. Well, there are two ways of seeing this law in action: you can be Steve Guttenberg and watch your career unfold from the early 1980s to the present, or you can use this simple guide that helps you prove Murphy right.

Let's Start Simple

Clearly, you're reading this because you do not believe in the wisdom of Murphy.

This comes a little later on in the guide.

With this is mind, we will start with a simple demonstration that will start the process that changes your mind. I want you to go to your kitchen, and pour yourself a glass of water. Make sure the glass is glass, as opposed to some other kind of kind of glass. Now, hold it out in front of you. Are you comfortable? Good, because you're going to be holding this glass for a very long time. Report back here in an hour.

So You're Back

Did you drop the glass? Of course you did, champ. You can't simply hold something in front of you without something happening, and, most likely, that something is bad. See? This Murphy asshole was on to something. Now, that we've done our wonderful experiment, let's start worsifying your life.

Set Yourself Up

This may be difficult if you're a pessimist, but to fully realize the potential of the Law, you must dream big! Make plans, think about the future, and carefully plan your life's path. This gives the Law ample room to work, and make your plans go awry. Now, no situation is too bizarre or strange to get Murphied. You could be at the airport, you could be waiting in line at the DMV, or you could be having a picnic while not at all expecting aliens to abduct you- it doesn't matter what, but Murphy will pop out and getcha.

Failure, Plain and Tall

But every helium balloon pops eventually on its ascent towards the heavens. You're now the CEO of a multibillion dollar corporation. Or maybe you're a successful actor. Perhaps even just a humble man with a decent life. Either way, it's gotta fall apart. If you're the CEO, people will discover your company isn't actually worth anything [whoops!] If you're the actor, your alcoholism will cause you to go to rehab. If you're the normal guy, you will be screwed over by the CEO. So, that's life! You run the rat race only to find a big ol' batch of poison at the finish line!