User:Sinner George/Sandbox2

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Normally, I would write this article in a way to match Rodriguez's cinematic style. However, his style is just so... I don't know... colorless and tasteless, that you can't even make fun of it. Whatever... here we go!


"Sorry dude, I don't know how to write..."

“Robert Rodriguez? Oh, it is that Puerto Rican who owns the grocery around the corner, isn't it?”
~ Roger Ebert on Rodriguez
“He's like a fuckin' brother to me, nigga!”
~ Quentin Tarantino on Rodriguez

Robert Anthony Rodriguez is a supposed American film director, screenwriter, producer, cinematographer and editor, a terrible musician and a cowboy wannabe. He has directed over a dozen of movies, including El Mariachi, Spy Kids and Sin City. Some of them were successful, some were not. Most belong in the second category. Anyway, almost every cinephile on earth knows Rodriguez as Quentin Tarantino's BFF (best fucking friend) and only. The two of them frequently collaborate and it's thanks to QT that Rodriquez has made a couple of successful films.

edit Early life

Rodriguez was born in Texas, the son of Mexican-American parents. They were both big fans of Ed Wood and thus little Robert was forced to watch such bullshit artistic wonders. He also enjoyed films made by Sergio Leone and Akira Kurosawa.

While attending a ridiculous Roman Catholic high school in his hometown, Rodriguez was commissioned to videotape the school's football games. According to a teacher-turned-prostitute he was fired soon after for shooting them with a cinematic style, getting shots of the ball traveling through the air and the chicks' boobs instead of shooting the game.

Rodríguez grew up shooting action and horror short films on video. Finally, in the fall of 1990, his entry in a local film contest earned him a spot in a university's film program where he made the award-winning 16 mm short "Bedhead". The film chronicles the amusing misadventures of a young girl who tortures her older brother, using her telekinetic powers. For unknown reasons, many people liked Rodriguez's short movie and this earned him some money. He was ready to conquer the Hollywood!

edit Career

Machete Lindsay Lohan

Well, yes... it's Lindsay Lohan as a nun with gun. Now, you see what movies Rodriguez makes...

Rodriguez started selling Cheerios gone off and was soon able to gather funds for his first feature film. El Mariachi was a stunning action film directed in Mexico. It is the only Spanish speaking-film not starring Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek, that the average American knows.

His next few films (i.e. Desperado,, From Dusk Till Dawn, and The Faculty) established Rodriguez as Hollywood's new less promising director. In 2001 he directed Spy Kids, a film about two super-clever children who must free their spy parents from an evil host of a child's TV program. Eh? Anyway, the movie was quite a success leading to two sillier sequels.

edit The "one-man film crew" and cinematic style

Rodriguez not only has the unusual credits of producing, directing and writing his films, he also frequently serves as editor, director of photography, camera operator, steadicam operator, composer, production designer, visual effects supervisor, sound editor, costume and underwear designer, clapperboard operator and the boy for the coffee on his films. Thus, a very famous film critic, whose name I cannot remember at this moment, has said on Rodriguez: "He is the version of Leonardo da Vinci in modern film industry. But a really bad version".

Rodriguez calls his style of making movies "Mariachi-style", just because it sounds cool. When asked how he makes his films, he stated: "I make a list of things I have access to like fast cars, luxurious apartments, big titties chicks, tireless stallions, noisy guns, extravagant costumes and then write the screenplay based on that list". As you can understand, Rodriguez has no specific style and if he has, nobody can distinguish it.

edit See also

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Sinner George/Sandbox2.

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