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“Wha' hav u bastages dun w/ my corn cob pipe!?”
edit NEPTUNE SALAD
“Don't count on it.”
“PEOPLE WHO EAT BASIL ARE LAME!poop”
“Leaves are (hello) people too!”
Randomness is a relatively rhythmic invention that was invented in 2001 by Ian Paisley, without any help from Ian Paisley. Although it was originally designed as a replacement for steak dinner, it was soon adopted by programmers across Canada games for their Commod word-saladore saladaore 64s. It is now widely used in accounting to help provide a bit of stupidity. Ian Paisley thinks it's a load of crap.
FOR 12 12 12 YOU MUST BE 12 12 12 !!! I SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID so once leik there was leik becky and she was leik soooooOOOOOOOOOO HAWT!
AHHHH PINK ELEPHANT
HOW TO GET A RETARD TO GIVE U HEAD
SAY THAT WHEN U HAVE FINSHED WITH THE LOLLIPOP YOU GET SOME WHIPPED CREAM
edit How to Eat Pie
Pie is pie get over it biotches. First you bake it then you stick in your mouth and eat it. one day my woman did not make me a poie and me got very MAD BUNNY GRRR! so i shot her and made pie out of her
edit Achieving true randomness
Achieving true randomness has been the most fascinating topic of debate in the(poop)history of humanity. Following close behind is the 'purpose of existence'. In order to achieve true randomness one must have an IQ of below -250 and more than OVER 9000 eye lashes on each eye. These who does not fit the criteria but still attempt to achieve true randomness will be bitch-slapped by god then washed down some fucking toilet to reunite with their father in some random fucking ocean around Australia before they can get catch by fish men, cooked, eat, and crapped out as a corn dog
People who does manage to achieve randomness (poop) will forever have their name recorded on the Magical l33t DragonSlayer35 wTF OMFG H4X stone of randomness. The stone does not actually exist, which means no names can go on it, which means in the above statement i was just making up shit to annoy readers.
People who were able to achieve true randomness:
- Bananas in Pyjamas
- That guy
- No one
- Old Creag
- That gold fish in my water tank
- Anybody who submits to this page
- LETS DO THIS LEEROY JENKINS!!!!!!
- Anyone who sings the whole Pokemon theme song when they drink milk,complete with actions
- ...... Poink
- DEATH BY GRAPES AND SPONGE BAYONETS!
- Oh yeah i like orange juice
- This guy
- <insert name here>
- Some shithead shitting on his head
- hyperhippy92 The Game
- who the fuck is spamming shit they are so no0b!
- uh huhuh huhuh
- long cat is sOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOng.
- imma going to fly for u! HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
- weeeeeeeeeeeee.weeeeeeeeeeeeeee. u spin me right round baby right round liek a record baby right round right round!
- look imma video game. pong! pong! pong!
- that was my impression of american acting! thank u! mwa mwa MWA!
- America Sucks long live Kim Jong Il
- Living in year 2011
- I just lost the mother fucking god damn game!
- My name rhymes with vagina!!!
- My Roflcopter goes soysoysoysoysoysoysoysoysoysoysoysoysoy!!!
- Darth vader's stripy cheese balls, but only on friday.
edit Hoi Y O Chinko
Chinoi moi blei hoini on mi shwojfosj jfuiowehj fuisdhfasflasasklfh klsfuisdh sf hasd fhdsua fhuasdkh fjuksdh fuiasdf ud fkjfdisjfksd fuisdhj fsdkfdsjfjsdjfkldsjfklsdjfksdjfkldjskfhsdkfjksdfjsdfksdjklfjsdklfjdksfksdhfklsdjyoujfklsijsefijsdnkfldjsofjnsdklfnjskljsucksjdklfjesfijsklfjsdfsdiflsfisefsjbigjfkljfklsdjfsdjflsjfilesfjsdljfandsdjfklsisjlijsdklfjsklfjsmeanksjeflijlfjsifjbiglsfjesifjslfjsilejfsljllajlsljiejflsjflidicklfjesifjslfjilsefjsilenjfsjfilsejfklsejflisejfjsefjsjfnkjfsefklsenmfsefjsefnmjnssjfsdjflsejlfis. you know what im talking about with bippin an the boppin
edit Random Story
In the year 9001 (ova 9000!!!!!), George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, who had just argued over who deserved to be the face on the US's new $1,000,000,000,000, fought on top of the Empire State Building in Hong Kong with lazer swords, while Spider Man sold drugs to basically anyone under the age of 999. Meanwhile, a ninja was sent to kill Obama, who was convinetly in Hong Kong at the time of the battle. Also at the scene, was Tom Hanks, Cameron Diaz, Nicholas Cage, Zac Efron, Nick Jonas, Sherlock Holmes, Steve Carell, Michael Bay, Steven Speilberg, Master Cheif, Mario, Luigi, Lady Gaga, Charlie Sheen, Indiana Jones, James Bond, the Transformers, Will Smith, Ronald Mcdonald, Rebecca Black (barfs), ET, Jennifer Lopez, Gorden Freeman, Darth Vader, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Hornet, Green Lantern, Superman, Solid Snake, Lara Croft, Samus Aran, Pacman, Kratos, Sonic, that guy from Doom, Justin Beiber (barfs again), GI Joe, Goku, Spongebob, Leonardo Decapprio, Katy Perry, Beyonce, Neo, Tom Cruise, Maxwell, Van Helsing, G-man, the FBI, CIA, KGB, M16, BFG, Elmo, Kirby, the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Navy Seals, Green Berets, Agent P, your ex girlfriend, your mom, etc. (not finished)
edit Worthless Crap + Banana Ghosts
Banana ghosts? Those don't even (writer gets taken away by Uncyclopedia authorities due to lack of originallity, a easy sign that he or she is a spy from Wikipedia). . .
edit What to --->do<---woah!
If you are, which (wild card bitches) you is (otherwise you would not be being), you should be going, and being to go: up.
Sorry I have an cold. But listen ear missus. If, philosophically, you were to, ipso facto, not be. The half the bee, has got to be. Visa vi it's entitiy, d'you see? Now we shall get down to bus-in-ess. To defeat. THE HUNS!!! As you are walking down the street which you are obviously not doing now, unless you have one of those new-fangled things what do this, which unless you have you are in a perfect position to prove the point which I 'ave just been making. Although your entir Waaagh is a turn left which has been blacked out for your own . in the way wumphf LOLWaaagh with a roflmfao
==Random Comment on Randomness== Penis So Rebecca Black the slight variations in the exposee goes to show that the unclear forces are irrelevant in the structural manner the core of the alligator is formed. It's like a beginning adlib you see. If you take words disregarding their nature you can subjugate them to any Rebecca Black use and they'll sound Penis correct, even if they like soup. Sarah even asked me. So that means a round flying peripheral alongside blue tally whackers Rebecca Black make for a nuance that simply doesn't want to be dealt with until next year. Penis Give it a decade or two Rebecca Black and you'll have a flabbergasted mammal on your hands. In situations such as these only only a demonicly high powered assault rifle does the trick. These machinations of doom are only things that can properly obliberate the virtuous monstrosity created from the combustible environs from Tangania. Rebecca Black If that constitutes Penis destruction then do Peniso but don't come crying to me when you realize the said proposal makes little sense to the hypothetical lies (little pieces of poop) of the century.Rebecca Black
===More or Less More Random Randomeness witha sied o' fries=== =D In conclusion, rite aid was fourth quickly on the list for Steve's upsides, rolling the tomatoes was not is of your mom OH DAMN THOSE NO0B FURBIES belay that, jhonny! My crop circles are obviously not when bob started price checking the logos, however, it was unclear how much of the sauce had actually gone down down down down the drain, up with anarcticallyanarchistantiestablishmentarianismicness. Third of all: My fish left the patio unlocked, again! Dammit, mario, can't you let the cordon stand for less than neither, just as susan was explaining to me the other day, without crabnarkses of the it because, cant not stand on its alone, SANTA JUST THREW BACK THE DOWN SYNDROME NUGGERS. first of all: heyall, this is sammy the squic- SCREW THIS IM GOIN BACK TO TAHALIGHAMICAH my nuns will send you a bill
There was dangerous. Jon wuz a pizza guy but no one buyed his pizzas cuz evryone eating banananas now instead. So he proceeded to hurl his lamppost at the 2 year old slug in front of him but unfortunately the slug said "HAHA you will not catch me." The angry australian pinapple had unicorns licking his toes and then he overdosed on Brad Pitt's toenail! THEN THEY ALL GOT DRUNK AND DIED!
however, THIS IS SPARTA!
NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!
PATRICK!!! THIS IS NO!
Nobody will believe you if you say your are Bob the Builder's cousin's son's wife's half brother's great grand daughter's son's pet's mother's owner.ore wood they?no, because homer simpson wouldn't go on a diet just so he can lick his... WOODCHUCK! MY CAKES WILL BURN!!! HOLY CRIP, HE'S A CRAPPLE!
P.S. This Article Ain't Random as shit! Hooray For All Caps and PAPER!
edit The national antheme of the austro-hungaraian empire
1. Gott erhalte Franz den Kaiser, unsern guten Kaiser Franz! Hoch als Herrscher, hoch als Weiser steht er in des Ruhmes Glanz. Liebe windet Lorbeerreiser ihm zu ewig grünem Kranz. Gott erhalte Franz den Kaiser, unsern guten Kaiser Franz!
2. Über blühende Gefilde reicht sein Zepter weit und breit. Säulen seines Throns sind Milde, Biedersinn und Redlichkeit. Und von seinem Wappenschilde Strahlet die Gerechtigkeit. Gott erhalte Franz den Kaiser, unsern guten Kaiser Franz!
3. Sich mit Tugenden zu schmücken, achtet er der Sorgen wert. Nicht, um Völker zu erdrücken, flammt in seiner Hand das Schwert; sie zu segnen, zu beglücken, ist der Preis, den er begehrt. Gott erhalte Franz den Kaiser, unsern guten Kaiser Franz!
4. Er zerbrach der Knechtschaft Bande, hob zur Freiheit uns empor. Früh erleb er deutscher Lande, deutscher Völker höchsten Flor und vernehme noch am Rande später Gruft der Enkel Chor: Gott erhalte Franz den Kaiser, unsern guten Kaiser Franz!
Big beef corn soup and potatoes are floating around the general store at five hundred miles per hour on a Sunday morning's afternoon. They need more coffee mugs! So there had better(penut butter is great lube) be one hundred Santa sticks and potato butt nuggets in your ear lobe before the time of the biff is up, or there'll be no pans and no hot sauce for you! Everyone needs to know when are the telephones coming back? GUESS WHAT?!? YOU AREN'T THE FUCK!!!!! Get me a brownie, steak dinner, steak dinner, and hold the steak dinners. NOW! So then I wrote this check, and everybody died and it was like DA FUX! Then it was Batman in the hot tub, and he was with a mustard shake, and they were doing garlic sex in 4 dimensions. A rise in the steak dinner market tends to incarcerate the well-to-do success of its competitors in the steak dinner trade. This well-to-do litte steak dinner gives rise to a whole new steak dinner of steak dinner in the long run, despite a sharp, well-to-do increase Waaagh in the rate of well-to-do steak dinner quite timidly. Go home and wash your head of stink with your bad self. I LOVE BANANAS
Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them says "Peanut."
if you really want to know what random is, tell an idiot to write the word apple on a piece of paper and try to find an E in it.
"Oh boy, my PINGAS is hard" ...and that is mai impression of american advertisment!
edit Random People
I am a cat person, but I never liked potatoes. Oh God, I think I just farted on Hitler's cat who is from Albania, not to be confused with Turkey. Nobody likes Raymond. Two fat guys ponder about the creation of the university and hot dogs. A giant mushroom was recently discovered in a tropical rain forest. A fat menstruating man who lives in his parent's basement playing Dungeons and Dragons with other fat menstruating men around his age is an example of a random person.
edit The Randomness Continues
Remember the most important lesson of Randomness... Side effects may include: Dry mouth, Nausea, Vomiting, Diarrhea, Preganancy, Sleepiness, Water retention, Painful recollage, Hallucination, Dementia, Psychosis, smelling heavily of limburger cheese, Myxomatosis, Coma, Death and Halitosis. Randomness isn't for everyone; consult your doctor before use! (Also beware of Rinjas! They'll kill you with their Random-Direction-Flying-Ninja-stars!) omg banana pancakes!?!?!?!?! PINGAS
Q <-- highlight here lol
edit Appealing Random Facts that will make you Mr./Mrs. Popular!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! O O O O !!!!!!!!!!! O !!!!!!!!TACO MEAT!!!!!!!! Balls. -> O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Over there. --> O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Falling. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Down. O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!==
- people will turn into red carpets if they love to sing
- Gentlemen over the Age of Aquarius are more likely to be over the Age of Consent than Gentlemen who are over the Age of Aquamarine-enhancing pheromones.
- Red headed girls are better at eating key lime pie.
Mah boi, I wonder whuts for regular prostate exams. Oh boy! I can't wait for squadala All the way around his head! AND hit the sign!
So.ur moms 2nd cousins wifes boyfriends face looks like a dickload of ketchup.
[i herd u liek mudkip] no not rly.
I JUST HAD A MONSTER ENERGY DRANK AHM REDDEH FOR SONIC RIDERZ!!!
Snoo-PINGAS usual, I see
edit YOYOYOYOYOYOYO YOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYO!!!!!111111
yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyooyoyoy!!!!!!!!YOYOYOYOYOYOYOOYOYOYO YOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOY!!!1111 YOYOYOYOYOOYOOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOY1111111ELEVEN
The potato is commonly believed to be the twice (butt plugs are like dildos on steroids) removed cousin of the watermelon, but is in fact nothing but a lie orchestrated by the government of Canada.
edit Significance of Goats
Goats are mystical creatures that eat tofu, and have many precious minerals embedded in their anus, and the ring of their anus is generally covered in a strange flourescent fungus. They are also a lie. They have Big Boner Jams, and have to use boner cream. ==Some Cheese== File:Dizzymilk.gif
edit eat corn chips, their gunnu maik u eat teh werm
- Yo mamma
- Toilet time
- Being Random
- Not being Random, or Random: The Lack Of...
- Michael Jackson wuz here
- I'm certainly not here
- OOh, click here
- Can you smell this brown? I think it tastes like 42. But kinda feels like a yellow drowning of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Hippos
- This will send you somewhere
- FAQ: Question- How many licks does it take to get to the tootsieroll center of a tootsiepop. Answer-Jesus is the answer to everything
- Click here, Jesus loves you!
- I'm not random, I'm 17 and still 42 and Heffalumps
- Help, I've fallen and I can't make my baby spit up
- Obesity is not a crime, it's a misdemeanor
- Clicking here will make you feel special
- Pop quiz: Where does Puff the Magic Dragon Live
- 8675309, is really a commonly mistaken date. It's August 6th, at 7:53, 2009 ('09)
- I'm da Captain! Toot Toot!
- Wanna hear a racist comment? White people are 13% Racist
- "This really sends you somewhere random", CAPTAIN OBVIOUS
- I farted
- Hire me, I'm random
- I live on the train that arrives at platform 9 and 127/875. This takes you to Hogblarts
- Your parting gift is a major drop in IQ
- Double the Random: Click Here
- NO CLICK HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- This can kill Grue of grues can kill
- ME WANT PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Fuck I need to shat
edit x = degsdgfrgsdgfhsdffdngfgsdfnfghgfngrfhfsdhf
~ Shut the fuck up. Get a life. NO YOU LITTLE BICH WITH A DICK SO SMALL ITS A VAGINA
Bandy is a panda-bunny with dragon wings who owns a chocolate factory and lives in my closet!! He has eight children: Girls Boys
----- ---- Ducky Spotzyies Mittens Claws Jiggly Scratch Cammie ur mom Bunny
Mittens and Claws are twins! Bandy is married to a green tiger pixie named Bubble! I would tell you more but I dont like you and Bubble is going to tear your eyes out and feed them to orphans if you piss my pie off.
edit IMPORTANT announcement
Due to Global Warming and the Economy and such...Hulk in a pretty pink mini skirt and will eet u fer the kings dinner...that is all thank you...
edit ONWARD, STARHORSE!
You have to save the magical emerald toaster sword from the maniacal monkey magician!
No time for jokes, Starhorse! Quick, to the time machine! Fuck the time machine, just stick my corn your belly button and lets go to Montana!
MY SOJOURN IS YOU FACE LOL!!!!1111 VAGINA PENUS LUIGI!!!!!!111 AAAAA!!!11111!!!!!!11111111RAPPA YO HOT SHOT!!1111
edit Even more...
Once upon a time when you were six hours old, your glans was bigger than your foreskin. Two balloons went to a Chicago Bulls game and died. When the giant potato wreck havoc on your mom, you exploded in excitement. I met Barack Obama's uncle yesterday at the frat house your grandpa (coincidentally Barack Obama's uncle) lived in twenty days ago. ENDPAGE
edit See Also