User:Simsilikesims/Punch Me Elmo

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“That feels good”
~ Punch Me Elmo on being abused
“Just a little lower.. ”
~ agitated kid on Punch Me Elmo
“Satisfactory...”
~ Albert Einstein on Punch Me Elmo
“Freak! ”
~ Punch Me Elmo on Albert Einstein
“ .. . ”
~ Punch Me Elmo on a Roundhouse Kick

The Punch Me Elmo was specially designed for abused children and the mentally handicapped as an outlet for their frustrations.

History

With bad memories of being tickled during childhood, the global mankind decided to endure the suffering no longer and give young growing men all around the world the childhood education they deserved. The most resentful of all manly creatures was chosen. Elmo would now pay for his betrayal of mankind - and Punch Me Elmo was born.

Origins

The very first Punch Me Elmo was conceived by Mary Poppins nine months after having sex with the original Chuck Norris. They named it Elmo. Elmo's ability to withstand incredible blows to every part of his fuzzy little body became apparent when it accidentally got in between Chuck Norris and Beer. Apparently Elmo had inherited both Mary Poppins temperament and Chuck Norris' invulnerability.

Every Punch Me Elmo must withstand Chuck Norris before leaving the factory, as opposed to its cousin Tickle Me Elmo, which receives torture for being too little and cute to be masculine. A sequel, Bite Me Elmo, is planned as a squeaky toy designed especially for police dogs.

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