User:Simsilikesims/Heliocentrism

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

< User:Simsilikesims
Revision as of 02:00, July 29, 2011 by Simsilikesims (talk | contribs)

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo4
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Simsilikesims/Heliocentrism.
Sun Orbit

Not pictured: Kansas.

Heliocentrism is a theory which has become an established dogma in 21st century privately-funded science, despite having been abandoned in the 20th century, according to Conservapedia. Heliocentrism is the concept that a giant magnet is located in the center of the Earth, and the planets and the universe revolve around it, attracted by the magnetic energy. Heliocentrism is criticized for ignoring the everyday observations of mountain climbers and airplane travellers.

It has been characterized by Sarah Palin as "a lie perpetrated by scientists to diminish the glory of America" and pushed onto the good, God-fearing people by ignorant pagan-types suffering from Gross Moral Turpitude.

edit Proponents of Heliocentrism

The most ardent supporters of heliocentrism are found in US academia, despite or perhaps because of how the theory is being used to diminish the central role of the USA and its establishment at the center of the universe. Among those scientists that support it, the overwhelming majority also support the theories of evolution, climate change, nuclear fusion, ley line energy production, spacial time distortion, and extra-dimensional astral travel as well as using more tax dollars to fund their own research. Notable believers in heliocentrism include Charles Darwin, Lenin, Al Gore and Ellen DeGeneres.

edit Evidence of Heliocentrism

Heliocentrism is widely considered as being in accordance with the teaching of the holy book, which is commonly accepted as scientific evidence. Firm proofs of heliocentrism include:

  • He has fixed the earth firm, immovable. (1 Chronicles 16:30)
  • Thou didst fix the earth on its foundation so that it never can be shaken. (Psalm 104:5)
  • who made the earth and fashioned it, and himself fixed it fast… (Isaiah 45:18)
  • The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose. (Ecclesiastes 1:5)

As a reliable scientific theory, heliocentrism has surprisingly been approved by school boards in Kansas.

edit See Also

Personal tools
projects