User:Simsilikesims/13 painful but rarely fatal sins
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The 13 painful but rarely deadly sins: In order of pain caused to mankind
- 1) Retaining any lingering instinct towards political correctness
"Can you get us a waitress- I mean, a server. And here's her- I mean, their- exactly 15 percent tip. No one can accuse me of being politically incorrect. NO ONE!"
- 2) Subjecting your fellow man to the Russian reversal syndrome
- 3) Editing, reading, contemplating, or speaking about a Wikipedia article
- 4) Combining either Mentos and Diet soda, or Pop-rocks and cola just to see what happens.
- 5) Huffing unborn kittens
- 6) Eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting. Preferably, one of these flavors.
- 7) Microwaving popcorn in the workplace, thus infusing the entire premises with its scent and envious coworkers
"Smell of popcorn... Head swimming, can't concentrate... MUST... HAVE... POPCORN! GYAAAH!"
- 8) Losing the White Man's Burden in a Third World Nation along with your luggage
- 9) An unhealthy addiction to collecting postage stamps, coins, stuffed animals, action figures, manga, cards, or bottlecaps.
"Duhh... I'll trade you a Nerdamon for your Otakuzard!"
- 10) Shooting magic missiles at Russells Teapot (theoretically could cause the Universe to cease, and has happened approximately three times in "The Race to Evangelize Space" between the US and the USSR)
- 11) Regarding Lord Byron as "One of Us"
- 12) Eating tofu in any way, shape or form
- 13) Being allergic to Cajun cooking