From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“NO! WE'RE NOT GOING ON BLOODY UNCYCLOPEDIA!! BLOODY BLOODY BLOOOOOOOOODDY!!!!!!!! I HATE IT SO MUCH! IT'S SO BLOODY NICE!”
Vyvyan "TAMPONS" Bastard is a philosopher and great thinker behind great works such as "Dear Bastard, Give us some money" and "Cornflakes". He is also a campaigner for star-studded forehead anonymous.