User:Shabidoo/happymonkeycompetition/2011/SaintJayJay

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Happy Monkey Competition Winter 2011

Pee reviews for: SaintJayJay

Article:

Pee Review from Shabidoo

Humo(u)r: 8.5/10

Billy ocean was a nice way to morph the article from a serious one to a humorous one. The play between scientists and radio DJs also does the same thing. "more important things to think about" made me laugh. Some people dont like the "we dont care" stance, but when well placed I think it is good humour and in this case you did it. Testicles in the larynx was the first LOL moment, linking the two made it funnier. Trigger happy, rendering them invisible, evolution of penguins all very funny . Little details are in there like crediting the black and white photos to two different sources, the first time a caption like element was a LOL moment for me ever on uncyclopedia. The rest of the article is similarly funny (especially the russian part) and fun sized people. You lose me a little on the list, a list has to be extra funny in my opinion to stand on its own. Its funny but could use some editing in my humble opinion. The humour dies down a little towards the end as would be expected writing in a 24 hour competition. All in all the whole article is infused with humour with a couple LOL moments.

Creativity: 9/10

Extra creative with a difficult topic. To write so creatively in such time on such a boring topic inspires me. Well done. Finding humour in both the mundane and intersting, in animals, humans, nature, geology is funny. Bringing humour from outside sources (Japanese) also a great idea. And finally the black and white images was a great idea especially with the captioned mentioned above.

Images: 8/10

I liked all the images. The first one is well placed to parody a wikipedia style article. Funny black and white images, adding the captions. The walrus might have been funnier by selecting a more humorous pose. Good choping with santa claus and polar bear, considering you did everything in 24 hours.

Prose, Formatting, Links: 4.5/5

Rock and roll! Tons of links, well divided sectinos and only a few tiny mystakes in spelling and prose.

Concept or whatever you want to put here: 3.5/5

If your concept was taking the format of an encyclopedia article you did a great job. You didnt turn it into a narative, avoided whild tangents and stuck to the theme. The list kind of sticks out and as I said before should only be used if its wildly funny (in my humble opinion)

Final Score: 33.5/40

I am smacked over the head with how good a job you did with this. Well done and I hope you continue editing this and tightening it up. (ill proof read this later for my spelling etc..)

Comments:

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Pee Review from: Wilytank

Humo(u)r: 7.5/10

Yes all good and good. Why isn't this higher? You could say I'm cold-hearted. I gave you another half point for Yellow snow.

Creativity: 7/10

Eskimos, polar bears, and santa are all typical of the topic. Nice to have, but typical. Geography is a plus though.

Images: 8/10

Nice images. The icing on the cake was the National Geographic tag on the black image.

Prose, Formatting, Links: 4/5

Once again, yellow snow.

Concept or whatever you want to put here: 3.5/5

Overall, everything seems to stay together.

Final Score: 30/40

Solid work, St. JJ. A little work needed, but worth having the way it is.

Comments:

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Monkeyjudge

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