User:Shabidoo/happymonkeycompetition/2011/Mimoandmaxus

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Happy Monkey Competition Winter 2011

Pee reviews for: Mimo & Maxus

Article:

Pee Review from Shabidoo

Humo(u)r: 5/10

"why are kidneys needed if you can just lye down and sleep". "Turn you into an emo". My favorite line is the one refering to uncyclopedias. Good one. and the subsequent sentence made me laugh. Cute drawing.

Creativity: 7/10

In terms of creativity you came up with some fun off the wall ideas, and I assume you made the drawing yourself. The lines about phramaceuticals, emu´s, the liver were funny. Try to funnel your creativity in a way in which the original idea can be exanded into something more than one funny and silly phrase but that can be developed, become more interesting each time, funnier. A series of random funny things can also be funny if it fits in well with an over all creative idea that runs throughout a section or the entire article. You are extra creative Mimo and funny, im sure thats why you are the super popular nOOb, try to develop your skills of editing that creativity and edit in and edit out all those creative ideas.

Images: 5/10

I love users who make their own images for scratch. In my humble opinion, the first image is perhaps okay for the article, the retro look of the second one is also funny, but its even better if the articles really fit in well with the article and especially where you place them. There can always be a better and funnier picture and it can always be placed in a more strategic place in your article.

Prose, Formatting, Links: 2/5

Giving you a bonus point for not having a natural english, and the fact that you added links, and ironic ones at that I give you a 3. In my humble opinion, it needs a lot of proof reading (and I am also a super bad speller) for spelling and grammar. The tone is humerous throughout, try to make the tone of the article consistant.

Concept or whatever you want to put here: 2/5

It was just a 24 hour competition, so its hard sometimes to have a concept and deliver it throughout an article. Is your concept "sleep deprivation", the name of the title, or is the concept "overcomming sleep deprivation can make you a happier person". The second one has a lot of potential. I can see a bit of it (if that is your concept), In my humble opinion if you chose one and write it into your article through out it becomes funnier and funner to read. This all being said, I honestly think you did well in 24 hours and have an article to expand on and make conceptual and funny.

Final Score: 21/40

(21/40)

Comments:

{{{Comments}}}

Pee Review from: Fudgemobile

Humo(u)r: 8/10

(8/10) Humor was all relevant to sleep deprivation.

Creativity: 7/10

(7/10) Was it a hard topic?

Images: 7/10

(7/10) Pictures were a bit Meh.

Prose, Formatting, Links: 2/5

(2/5) Too many fullstops and random capitalized letters for me.

Concept or whatever you want to put here: 4/5

(4/5) Good angle on sleep deprivation.

Final Score: 28/40

(28/40) Nothing further, Your Honour.

Comments:

{{{Comments}}}

Monkeyjudge

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