User:Shabidoo/Abe

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Spinningabe

look at honest abe spin!! 111!

Abe, pronounce like wave only without the first aproximant consonant at the beginning and by vocalising the final consonant at the end, is a name reserved for people who are met with a destiny of gigantic but dire preportions. They are stupendous people who die tragically. Our great beloved Abraham Lincon who turned American cotton slaves into happy ghetto apartment renters and who showed that a mustacheless beard can be cool was shot in the face. Or Abraham that guy who was beloved by god, the leader of greatness and piety and selflessness was forced to cut his sons throat before watching it turned into a lamb and having to spend the rest of his life with his son ... as a lamb. Yes, Abrahams are all destined to be giants in the history of earth and finish their lives in a dramatic way, never in a retirement home.

edit Abe's Of Time

edit Origins of Abe

Abe is derived from the ancient mongolian word aey-bhabe. It is pronounced: "I pooped on you so fast you did not even notice" and in actuallity means sudden death will come to you in ten years. It is an oxymoronic provherb that points out the irony that it is "sudden death" but will not come for ten years. If the term is direvted torwards anyone being said in its original dialect the ancient gods of Asia such as Bill and Ted will kill the person the statement is directed to in exactly ten years to the very picco-second. Abe developed into a name once rich and greedy lords told their peasents to call their child by the name so that when they called their child's name it would forsake them to death at age ten and keep the evergrowing asain population down to just Abes.

edit The Modern Period of the name Abe

In recent years the name Abe has been used less and less. A recent poll from "Abe is Teh B3sT Nam3 3v3R" Magazine found that all of it's 3 reader's names happen to be Abe. It led people to believe that 100% of all people had the name Abe because 100% of all who were polled did. This started the decline in name use. No-one wanted their kid to have the same name as some other lesser kid. Now in a more accurate poll people from "Cock Rock Fest 1987" (A Burnt Face-Man sponserd magazine) have found that tragically only 3.27% of all things are named abe. A huge portion of that percent is credited to that memorial for that one Abe who got friggn shot in the head by John Wilkes Booth (The guy who killed JFK and founded the evil corporation Nike Shoes, the shoes he used to run away with them on) while watching that play rent. Scientists have found probably only 10 or 14 kids now have the name abe. Thus a recent "Save the Abe" campaign has ensued.

edit Save The Abe

Also know as "5av3 t3h A83!!!!!!!1", has been fighting communism for years but just recently moved to reinstate ABE as a popular name. The major problem besides the democrats spreading rumors that ABE is spanish for the word GAY, whankers, is that funds were spend to fast supplying abe supporters with jet-packs in order to spread the word of ABE faster.

Babe Lincoln

Babe Lincoln

edit Things That Rhyme With Abe

The following words are all real words and can be found on the web.

  • Babe
  • Cabe
  • Craib
  • Gabe
  • Grabe
  • Knabe
  • Labe
  • Laib
  • Mabe
  • Rabe
  • Staib
  • McCabe
  • Broccoli Rabe

edit Things that are often asscociated with ABE

  • Top-Hats
  • Chin-Strap Beards
  • Nice Suits
  • The Gettysburg Address
  • Freeing Slaves
  • The Civil War
  • Getting Shot In The Head
  • Pennies
  • A Statue In Washinton DC

edit Abe Wishes That...

Many Abe across time have had many wishes, dreams, and desires and here are a few key points that they have pressed:

  • Honest Abe Lincoln was still alive.
  • Pennies were worth more money.
  • Leeroy Jenkins wasn't such an asshole.
  • Tom Morello was still with RATM.
  • Pants went out of fashion.
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