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Commander of the Order
British flag This user is a total UKer
...jolly good, wot?!
(British Uncyclopedians)
Barr Irn-Bru 6 X 330 Ml Pack This user is fae Bonnie Scotland
Clock This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
2 years, 10 months and 12 days.

51 This user has written 51 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

Answer to Life My edits: 12,469

DogNewspaper This person is an UnSignpost Editor. He knows nothing of the outside world.
uk-N This user is a native speaker of Correct English.
sco-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Scots.
us-0 This user does not understand American English and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
es-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Español.
WAR This user is a war mongerer, so he or she dances a war dance.
Angrygod This user hates religion and is a sinner through and through!
3dspork This user is a conspirator in the Grand Conspiracy.
British Royal Family This user is a monarch, or a megalomaniac.

Lord Sutch This user is a Raving Loony Uncyclopedian and he/she's insane about it.
This user is a member of the Uncyclopedian Army.
And is pwning vandals for our nation!
US flag

This user is not American
...and unabashedly proud of it.
(But he's not saying where he is from
in case y'all come and bomb the hell out of it.

(List of NonAmerican Uncyclopedians)

4 This user thinks BBC Radio 4 is worth the licence fee alone.
A,B and C This user prefers not to use the serial comma as it is a waste of time.
The British Army This user is a member of the modern British Army.

Writer of the month Writer of the Month June-July 2013 Noobaward Noob of the Moment April 2013

ScottPat is a British citizen of Uncyclopedia. He has been an active member of the website since March 2013 when he joined. ScottPat was attracted to Uncyclopedia originally just for the fact that he found it randomnly and had always wondered when Wikipedia was going to be spoofed. As an amateur comedy writer, impressionist, parodist and political satirist, ScottPat had already mocked philosphers, works of literature, political manifestos and newspapers to amuse his friends (yes he has some of them!) and so decided to up his game and have a crack at doing some parody writing that the general public could judge.

ScottPat's expertese lie in random facts he has aquired over his wonderful life especially in areas such as Science, History, Politics and Britishness. ScottPat has been described many times as an encyclopedia and he combines this with his ego to write some articles for this website, which he enjoys being part of.

If you click here you will realise the saviour has returned and died and therefore judgement day has passed.

Probability of meeting my article if you click "Random Page": 0.066%. But you can still try.

Requested article: Triple Entente (refresh for another article)


If you are in need of any help or just want to ask a question then please ask here.

Articles I Have Written

Main Articles

UnNews Articles

List or choice articles

UnPoetia Articles

UnScripts Articles

HowTo Articles

UnTunes Articles

Thumbs up2

This user created The Last King of Scotland, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

Thumbs up2

This user created The Great Dictator, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

Thumbs up2

This user created Schlieffen Plan, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

Vogon Poet Lowrate
This person is the winner of the Poo Lit Surprise, which they won for their article: Cossacks
Vogon Poet Lowrate
This person is the winner of the Poo Lit Surprise, which they won for their article: Checkpoint Charlie

Quotes that will help you get through life (from my articles)

  • “To think outside the box is to realise the box is too small for you to put everything in.”
    ~ Professional boxer Leon Spinks on boxes
  • “Before Alamein we never won a bloody thing. Well apart from the battle of the River Plate, the Madagascan War, sinking the Bismark, the Battle of Britain and the attack on Mers Al Kebir. After Alamein we never had a defeat, apart from Operation Epsom, Antwerp, the Burmese Campaign...forget it I'll write a shorter speech.”
  • “I am going to name a Russian city after me. From now on Kiev shall be called Putingrad.”
    ~ Vladimir Putin making sensible political decisions.
  • “It will be soon!”
    ~ Putin's response after an advisor told him that Kiev was not owned by Russia.
  • “You'll no be King of Scotland, if not King of Aberdeen”
    ~ Robert Bruce of Scotland
  • “All words are equal. But some are more equal than others.”
    ~ George Orwell on Commanism: in grammar.
  • “There's a King of Scotland? I didn't know there were Kings of continents.”
    ~ George Bush on Scotland
  • “Why do they call it the English language if it was invented in America?”
  • “Panzer Division is easy - just cut panzer in half with chain saw”
    ~ Polish Proverb.
  • “We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Western Australia, we shall fight on the Great Barrier Reef and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on Aires Rock, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight in the desert, we shall fight on the Emu nesting grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving to the evil Emu cause, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the Australian Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, all the bloody Emus will die.”
    ~ Winston Churchill's famous speech on the Emu War.
  • “How the hell did those Canadians invade. There's a sea between Canadia and America.”
    ~ George Bush speaking on the War of 1812.
  • “I told you Iraq had secret weapons of mass destruction.”
    ~ Tony Blair's first remark on the BP oil Spill.
  • “Well, Iraq's still basically part of Britain.”
    ~ Tony Blair's second remark on the BP oil spill after being told that BP was a British company.
  • Stage Manager: This is the graveyard in the Mormon cemetary on Bunker's hill. We got ancient graves here, going right back to the fifteenth Century. Up there's the Patriots' graves of 1776. They're coated with gold and topped with a giant cross. A few loyalist bodies were found kicking around the bottom of that ditch down there. So we dug 'em up and gave 'em a proper burial - in the Catholic graveyard. Hahahaha. Made us boys laugh for weeks.”
    ~ Thornton Wilder
  • George Gibbs: But you don't actual believe in this whole marriage affair, do you Mr. Webb?

Mr. Webb: Well to be honest with you George I do but you see in our Jedi way we believe that marriage is the interconnection of two masters to produce a suitable padiwan so that one day we must find the chosen one.

Mitt Romney: Speaking from the Mormon point of view, Mr. Webb if you don't mind, I always say it ain't natural to go through life bein' lonely. People are born to go through life four by four, or is it six by six?”
~ Thornton Wilder
  • “If we were to take the number of every piece of sand on every beach on Earth and multiply it by the number of every star in every galaxy in every cluster in every super cluster of our universe, then that number. That golden ratio of numbers would not be enough to equal the probability that this theory is correct.”
  • “Oh, my name, oh, is Gordon, oh, Brown. I am stepping, oh, in after Tony, oh, Blair to become the new, oh, Labour leader, oh, and primeminister despite the, oh, fact that no one voted for me.”
    ~ The opening speech from the film, "Oh, What a Crap Primeminister" in which Gordon Brown played the Great Dictator.

Quotes I have Edited

The bit I added is in bold.

  • “You wouldn't catch me on that death trap - the safety net's too small.
    ~ Thorpe Park's ride inspector on Colossus
    Catch - safety net. (Get it!)

Articles I Recommend

HowTo:Get back to London if you suddenly find yourself in France


Monopoly (game)

UnTunes:I Am The Very Model of a Crazy Fundamentalist

Little Adolf's School Report

Liberal Fascism

Bear Grylls

Hitler Has Only Got One Ball

Conquest of Liechtenstein

National Try To Assassinate The President Day/MPMock

Rubik's Cube

Drive by shooting (I like this article mainly for the concept and less for the content)

Uncyclopedia:Imaginary Admin Guidelines

HowTo:Write An Article That Stands No Chance Of Featuring On Uncyclopedia

Horatio Hornblower


FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives

List of one letter words starting with A

British Moon-landing

UnNews:Galactic Empire raises terror alert level to orange

Star Wars

Unidentified man in green firing turret

Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament

UnNews:Nazi leader cleared of nazism

UnNews:Last spot in heaven taken; hundreds waitlisted

The Duke of Edinburgh Award

Un-British Activities


HowTo:Choose your car insurance

Game:Word Search



UnScripts:Star Trek (film, 2009 reboot)

Other wikis

I also regularly contribute to the Spanish version of Uncyclopedia, Inciclopedia and you can find me here: Usuario:ScottPat.

The True Story To Lord of the Rings

This is not mine but it's great:


True Lord of the Rings story in all its CGI glory.

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