ScottPat is a British citizen of Uncyclopedia. He has been an active member of the website since March 2013 when he joined. ScottPat was attracted to Uncyclopedia originally just for the fact that he found it randomnly and had always wondered when Wikipedia was going to be spoofed. As an amateur comedy writer, impressionist, parodist and political satirist, ScottPat had already mocked philosphers, works of literature, political manifestos and newspapers to amuse his friends (yes he has some of them!) and so decided to up his game and have a crack at doing some parody writing that the general public could judge.
ScottPat's expertese lie in random facts he has aquired over his wonderful life especially in areas such as Science, History, Politics and Britishness. ScottPat has been described many times as an encyclopedia and he combines this with his ego to write some articles for this website, which he enjoys being part of.
Quotes that will help you get through life (from my articles)
“To think outside the box is to realise the box is too small for you to put everything in.”
~ Professional boxer Leon Spinks on boxes
“Before Alamein we never won a bloody thing. Well apart from the battle of the River Plate, the Madagascan War, sinking the Bismark, the Battle of Britain and the attack on Mers Al Kebir. After Alamein we never had a defeat, apart from Operation Epsom, Antwerp, the Burmese Campaign...forget it I'll write a shorter speech.”
“Panzer Division is easy - just cut panzer in half with chain saw”
~ Polish Proverb.
“We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Western Australia, we shall fight on the Great Barrier Reef and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on Aires Rock, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight in the desert, we shall fight on the Emu nesting grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving to the evil Emu cause, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the Australian Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, all the bloody Emus will die.”
~ Winston Churchill's famous speech on the Emu War.
“How the hell did those Canadians invade. There's a sea between Canadia and America.”
~ George Bush speaking on the War of 1812.
“I told you Iraq had secret weapons of mass destruction.”
~ Tony Blair's first remark on the BP oil Spill.
“Well, Iraq's still basically part of Britain.”
~ Tony Blair's second remark on the BP oil spill after being told that BP was a British company.
“Stage Manager: This is the graveyard in the Mormon cemetary on Bunker's hill. We got ancient graves here, going right back to the fifteenth Century. Up there's the Patriots' graves of 1776. They're coated with gold and topped with a giant cross. A few loyalist bodies were found kicking around the bottom of that ditch down there. So we dug 'em up and gave 'em a proper burial - in the Catholic graveyard. Hahahaha. Made us boys laugh for weeks.”
~ Thornton Wilder
“George Gibbs: But you don't actual believe in this whole marriage affair, do you Mr. Webb?
Mr. Webb: Well to be honest with you George I do but you see in our Jedi way we believe that marriage is the interconnection of two masters to produce a suitable padiwan so that one day we must find the chosen one.
Mitt Romney: Speaking from the Mormon point of view, Mr. Webb if you don't mind, I always say it ain't natural to go through life bein' lonely. People are born to go through life four by four, or is it six by six?”
~ Thornton Wilder
“If we were to take the number of every piece of sand on every beach on Earth and multiply it by the number of every star in every galaxy in every cluster in every super cluster of our universe, then that number. That golden ratio of numbers would not be enough to equal the probability that this theory is correct.”