User:ScottPat/Spanish Lighthouse takes on US Navy fleet and other comedy stuff

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Revision as of 15:20, May 17, 2013 by ScottPat (talk | contribs)

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Perhaps one of the funniest youtube videos I have ever seen. Typical European humour:

States Navy vs Spanish north coast

edit Strange conversation on Anton's talk page

(I mentioned that another user had exams and then the following happened:)

Ok. Do you have any exams? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:30, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
If you want to see which articles, as I think, should be created or rewritten, see this page. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:52, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

'Fraid I do. Had one today. It went well. I'll take a look at your page. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:14, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Well, I would like to wish you good luck except for it's too late. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:16, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"There is no luck in the game of examinations, dear Watson." Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:23, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"Of course, when you don't know that the Earth is spinning around the Sun, dear Sherlock, you will fail at all probability." Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:28, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"However the Earth is not spinning around any of the other seven planets and so must be spinning around the Sun. Elementary, my dear Watson!" Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:31, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Do you know that Holmes has never said "Elementary, my dear Watson". He said "elementary" and "my dear Watson" but only separately. So this is a common fallacy. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:33, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"I see I still need to teach you in the cunning art of the trickster, Watson. They deceive you at every step, telling you lies. The world of the thief, the murderer is a dangerous world that's why I'm the hero of this book and you're just the daft sidekick (I've always wanted to say that. Now that Conan-Doyle's dead he doen't control my language anymore). Your no good to me Watson, begone with you." Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:44, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"There are detectives even more talented than you, my dear Sherlock. You can't understand that because of your overwhelming ego. You spoil my life, endanger me... I would better like to be Hastings but I did not say that in order not to hurt your feelings: you would die of a heart attack after hearing that. Now you have said it yourself and you will be sorry there won't be anyone to stop you from putting this needle in your arm." Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:49, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"By the looks of your unusually smart dress Watson and the fact that you brandish the Conservative Party leaflet fresh form the printing press in your right hand, I would hazard a well-justified guess evaluation that you have recently aquainted yourself with the local polling station and have obviously been brainwashed by the government (again). My Watson, your sweating and your delirious comment that you said now shows me that you need a sit-down as you have obviously been deceived by higher powers. I did warn you only a minute ago to only listen to the Newtons of this World (i.e. ME!) because only they know the truth." Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:57, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"Brainwashing is the wrong term, Sherlock. They have told me the truth about your political activities: you have always said that they did not interest you but it is impossible! It is in your genes: how about your brother? You lied to me, my dear friend, you are just a betrayer, I have always wondered why you had so good relationship with the monarchs: they are not as grateful and don't have such a good memory to remember several "mysteries" that you solved for them. You are spy, Sherlock! Your expression tells me that I am right: not only you can be clever." Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:04, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"Watson you are behaving most irrationally. Do you think that there is such thing as a humble British detective who does not meddle in political affairs? Of course I have political views and yes I am brainwashed but it is for the good of the state. Do you really think we build this empire of ours with democracy, liberty and freedom of the people? We are not American or French for God's sake man! We are all politically corrupt and carry out our duties for the good of the Conservatives Empire. Oppression of the state man, it's what we need."

"You have been called every time, Watson, on my bluff that I seem to have clever reaons for arresting a man who by all other accounts is obviously not guilty. The amount of murders that have been turned into suicides by a flick of my tongue. My words are heeded by all, sir. I only arrest enemies of the state and protect funders of the treasury. Whether they are guilty or not-guilty does not play into it. Maybe you too will understand Watson as if you don't then the ketchup I sneakily covered your kitchen knife in while you were not looking will be good enough evidence to see you in the "Old Bailey" at ten o'clock this next morning." Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:23, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"You have duped me, Holmes! But you are not that stupid to do that. If I will go to jail, that is Hercule Poirot who will uncover the truth!" Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:25, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"Poirot is an absolute walloon. He comes from a country that thinks it has an empire and their only industrial output is choclate. He will not save you I'm afraid. I only know of one who can possibly save you." Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:33, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"I am afraid you beat me, Holmes. Who is this person? I don't dare make guesses." Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:44, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

"Here he comes now! (This whole conversation has been planned out from the start as usual, Watson). Jacque please take a seat."

"Good evening commissioner Sherlock. How are you, how is madame and all the little Commissioners?"

"Oh, just fine. May I introduce my mentor, Monsieur Jacque Clouseau! Jacque, this is Dr. Watson my once loyal companion. I hear you have come to solve the murder, Mr. Clouseau."

"Yes commisioner, of course it won't be easy; nothing worthwhile ever is. That is why I have always failed where others have succeeded.

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:57, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

edit A Conversation with a Dead Person from Talk:Dead

Too many editors of this article display COI and should not be participating, here. Experience is not a good qualification to submit edits. Only editors that not personally involved should be allowed to input text. References should be given for all changes from the other side or they may be removed without notice. Thanks! 174.118.142.187 20:54, May 12, 2013 (UTC)

I don't agree. First hand understanding of the topic gives a deeper insight into the social and financial disadvantages. Who better to understand how hard it is to be the life of the party? Or what it's like to be continually turned down for employment or financial aid? These insights are useful for those of us who aren't fortunate enough to have first hand experience.                               Puppy's talk page09:02 12 May 2013
I agree with Anon. Only dead people should edit this article. Spıke ¬ 21:06 12-May-13
It sounds like you have been digging pretty deep on this one. If I was making those statements, as an experienced soul, I could never live it down. Is there a process to get a consensus, here? Do you have a list of responsive persons that fit into this category to get a UP:3O ? Now don't tell me they are all dead accounts! 174.118.142.187 21:12, May 12, 2013 (UTC)
I believe you should check Category:Dead Uncyclopedians. Good sense of humor, and you can write in English; are you going to pick a user name or do we need to continue calling the 174.118 phone booth? Spıke ¬ 21:21 12-May-13
I concur. You obviously would prefer to go through the rigours here, which is a bit stiff if you ask me. This would be much more lively with a named participant.                               Puppy's talk page09:23 12 May 2013
I am not sure if I will undertake to become anonymous here or keep the numbers I was assigned. I try to call that number and none of my phones rang, they don't match my body measurements and I am not female either, so I am good with it, so far, at least until this headstone wears off. Do you have admins here or do I have bleed out first to discuss things with them? I want to discuss personal attacks. Can a dead person be insulted. I doubt they have feelings. You dig? 174.118.142.187 21:36, May 12, 2013 (UTC)
I am an Admin and if you have been insulted by someone other than me then I want to know about it. Spıke ¬ 21:40 12-May-13
Show me on the cadaver where the bad man touched you.                               Puppy's talk page09:48 12 May 2013
Well it took about 15 minutes to discover that you think you own the website (maybe you do) as you have reverted every edit I have made without any apparent valid reason I can determine. Clearly this is not the place for me and I wish you good luck with your ownership of all articles. It was a good sampling to check the quality of things here. You approached ASAP to join your ranks of worshippers. Perhaps it just a hate of IPs that you have or your meds ran out? Thanks but I am done.
I stated my reasons in the Change Histories; chiefly, seizing on unfunny long lists and making them longer. Have a nice life. Spıke ¬ 23:23 12-May-13
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