User:ScottBurnan/Why Am I Having Palpitations

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Will you keep it down? I am trying to sleep. Geez!

So, it's eleven o clock at night, and I'm ready for bed after a tiring and productive day. I take off my clothes and put on my manly pyjamas, get into my double bed that's never been filled and huddle up to the scrunched end of my duvet as I imagine it's a woman. I close my eyes and try to go to sleep, but I'm kept awake my a mysterious rhythm. *Boom Boom* *Boom Boom* *Boom Boom*, I feel in my chest. "Is the cat flicking me with its tail again?" I wonder, before remembering that I don't have a cat. I'm not allowed, not after what happened last time. Then it hit me, that's my heart beating. Why can I feel my heart beating? I'm not touching my chest. I must be having palpitations. Why am I having palpitations?

edit Hypochondria Sucks


My dog, Boxer.

Having palpitations can mean a number of things, ranging from stress to imminent heart attack. Naturally, being the hypochondriac that I am. I automatically assume the worse. I spend the next few minutes checking my pulse, looking in the mirror to see if my skin or lips have changed colour and beating my left arm senselessly to see if it still has feeling. To make matters worse, my hyperactive dog keeps running circles around me like a 5 year old child high on Lemonade. Is it some kind of warning? Can he sense my imminent death? Or is it just another one of his mad moments? I swear, he's been acting strange ever since he ate that chocolate gateau.

Perplexed and scared, I decide to consult the source of all knowledge, but it didn't help much. It kept going on about regular and irregular rhythm. I mean seriously, what is an irregular heart rhythm anyway? Does it like beat to the tune of "The ants came marching two by two, Hurrah! Hurrah!" or something?

I decide to be optimistic and assume it's just stress, so I put on some relaxing music, or I would if I actually had any, the only thing I have on my laptop is DragonForce. I suppose, it will have to do. After sixteen minutes of listening to high pitched vocals and tediously long guitar solos, I finally get to track three. It is then that I notice something odd. My heart is beating faster than the music! IT'S DRAGONFORCE! Their songs are like 256BP-



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