From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Yeti McSchmellbad(born July 21, 1977.) is an american Poet who was named after his great uncle Schmelly John Doe who was one of the last living American Civil War sasquatch Generals who faught for the western rebels. He helieved personally that enslaving the blacks was wrong and immoral but the people signing his paycheck felt differently. Yeti on the other hand does not have a problem with slavery, since slavery has been banned since 1999. yeti enjoys writing poems about his life growing up, including a short poem about how his father Clarence Thomas Schmellbad would lock his son in the broom closet and would slide Lucky Charms under the door for yeti to eat. This poem which is posted below had won yeti the coveted Stanley Cup; he was only 17 at the time.
edit Why Daddy? Why?
Why daddy? Why'd you lock me in this room?
i'm sorry I pleasured mom with a broom.
I mean it daddy I mean't her no harm.
May I please have another lucky charm?
Some of schmelbads hobbies include, getting reallystoned and walking around the neighborhood he lives in on garbage night. he likes to kick over garbage cans and burn the hair off of cats. when hes not stoned he drinks large amounts of cheap liquor(kessler,jack daniels, and goldenschlager)and chicken huffing. "huffing is one of my favorite hobbies... that and masturbating in my own feces." He is also somewhat of a *Phat Phreddy