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This article is too close to the TRUTH!
Citizens should begin to feel uneasy or bemused now. Fnord.
My penis's name is Colonel Sanders the Intimidating Wanger. I like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, and killing people. Oh, and there's fire. I like fire. I've edited a lot of articles, but they were small edits, so you can look for them yourself. Note: I view vandalism as awesome, being Discordian, but the Admins don't like it, so I would suggest that you don't vandalise. Also, I like misdirecting links, and am part Italian, part British, part Erisian, part German, part Greek, and part Xenu. My edits include the destruction of vandalism, spelling and grammar corrections, the creation of humorous misdirecting links, and your mom.