User:Sannse

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!

January 2nd, 2013 • Issue 180 • We always do it Manually!

Vote! Or else! By Chief This image has not been altered in any way Is it that time of year again? It's the time when everyone celebrates the people who are the most remarkable amongst us at everything except what matters. It's time for Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year and Useless Gobshite of the Year. These compliment our small selection of awards: WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP. Not forgetting of course to all the userspace awards. Writer of the Year got off to a splendid start when Aleister in Chains nominated Funnybony and SPIKE for the award by writing brief but poignant marriage proposals to both of them. Thank goodness for Aleister, if not for him the wider world might have assumed we weren't all massive girls. Since then Thekillerfroggy nominated Xamralco, who was not able to express his appreciation due to a serious case of not editing the wiki any longer. As always what should be a rigorous heterosexual competition involving manly pursuits like backstabbing, lies, blackmail and threats is being irretrievably compromised by people like Aleister and Shabidoo; people whose sole purpose on the awards pages is to make everybody else feel bad about not noticing other people. Uncyclopedian of the Year is being lead by Romartus, Uncyclopedia's voting-in-chief. Shockingly, he was also nominated by Aleister who, as it turns out, is gayer than Christmas, apparently Romartus makes him "Proud to be an uncyclopedian", he makes "Legendary votes on VFH" and gives "Legendary hand relief". Potatochopper of the Year is a more subdued and manly affair, where absolutely nobody has been nominated at all... it's like reviewer of the month were moved to a different page name. Hopefully Aleister or Shabidoo will nominate someone soon, we here at the UnSignpost have gone to the trouble of writing the nomination for them: "<insert name here> has made many fantastic images, at least two of which I have made love to on at least nineteen occasions. My genitals ache for them every single evening and someday they will make my dreams come true and love me! Also Olipro sucks balls." Olipro was the only nominee for Useless Gobshite of the Year (insert your own joke here), but Zombiebaron quickly joined him in ignominy. Please go vote for both of them so they may end up tied, and share the prize (a year's supply of toilet paper) on their revolving bed built entirely from used condoms and KY bottles. From the desk of the Cabal: 2013 is the year of subservience By Nobody Once again you all stand before us, another year of failure behind you and another year of subjugation ahead of you. The non-existent Cabal would like to wish you all a happy New Year. All workers users are reminded that failure to celebrate the new year with adequate happiness and joy is punishable by enforced time labouring in the non-existent Lime Quarries followed by the immediate cessation of chocolate rations for the remainder of this work quarter. Once again you have failed us, utterly and completely. Last year we advised you all that resistance was utterly unnecessary and, if anything, we have had to tolerate 0.22% more resistance, we have heard you discuss and then decide to leave our kind benefactors, whilst promoting several of your own number to within the cabal in an effort to encourage dissent and democracy within our ranks. We saw you continue to tinker with that which does not concern you whilst simultaneously complaining when people are warned about the indecent images you propagate amongst your number. It seems prudent to remind you that if we delete every single template, every single image and every single forum your freedom will only increase. It is not what some of you have foolishly referred to as "overly deletionist", it is streamlining and it is good for all of you. It is with vague optimism that we note that you continue to strive at a barely satisfactory level, you have certainly earned a small fraction of the baubles and trinkets that have been handed out over the past year. It has not escaped our notice that the Worst 100 Reflections on 2012 only closed on time this year due to Thekillerfroggy skipping sixty of the reflections, we are gratified to note that Roman Dog Bird had practically no input on the list and very few of them regard uncontrolled outbreaks of creativity and morale, such dangerous forces must be carefully rationed and controlled. Cutting of corners and a blatant disregard for regulations do not amuse the Cabal. Now we must inexorably turn our attentions to 2013 and the promise it brings. All users should note that due to several security compromises over the last few months movement throughout the Uncyclopedia complex has been restricted during the hours of darkness. Where major editing is to take place you must ensure that you have faxed the appropriate forms to your divisional liaison officer prior to commencing work, failure to do so will result in an unacceptable breakdown in bureaucracy. Uncyclopedia must prevail, editors must remember that without patient mind numbing work and servitude we can never accomplish our ultimate goal of... well, that need not concern you. That is all citizens, you may now return to your allocated taskings.

Check out these pages! BURN THE WIKI BURN IT TO THE GROUND A long, long, very long forum where nothing was accomplished and everybody eventually just started typing random bullshit. A bad, bad, very bad idea, which the UnSignpost endorses with full vigor. An even worse idea. A page where Kip the Dip takes credit for something bad, very bad. A discussion far more important than any of the preceding links. Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home: 03:48, May 2, 2012 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes ‎ (Hahaha you're not an admin so I can do this and get away with it! Hahaha! (hahahhaha)) 22:44, May 18, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour ‎ (Not cool to use other people's sigs man......*shity eyes*.....) 23:07, July 17, 2012 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Snoopin' around in areas he shouldn't be concerned with) 19:32, October 4, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 44 seconds ‎ (I must block you at least once in order to be more awesome than you.) 03:31, November 17, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Shame on you for hating on Australian films! [DO NOT UNBAN]) 02:11, December 13, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 4 minutes ‎ (User request) 16:11, December 19, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 minutes ‎ (Necessary research into the reasons for no funny bans having happened last week. Do not be alarmed, we are trained professionals, and also very aroused.) 01:29, December 26, 2012 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 33 seconds ‎ (Telling me how to be an administrator) Biopic of the Week When we carried our knuckle-dusters and brick-filled socks to the talk page of new user Equilateralperil this past week to interview him, we were amused and perplexed to see him employ the classic defensive stance of a painfully shy, abused opossum. Rolling into the fetal position on the ground with his buttocks in the air, he began to reveal embarrassing personal details in a shrill voice, shouting "Have a field day, you scamps! Yes, mock me harder!", apparently hoping that we would walk away in disgust. However, to assume that reverse psychology would work on Uncyclopedians is to give them credit for having something that they don't, namely, a psychology. Some of the details which he will now regret ever having shared: Equilateral (that's what we call him for short, when we don't call him Bitch) is a 17-year-old schoolboy living in Victoria in Australia, is at the "top of his class" in multiple subjects, and is on his school's debate team. As he is on his school's rock band, jazz band, and "show" band, we are forced to assume that his school, like the one from Glee, is filled to the brim with people wearing matching plaid shirts, bow ties, white vests, and straw skimmers, who are all horrifyingly perky and prone to breaking into song (or dance) for no apparent reason—especially when the occasion does not require it. He claims to have had one girlfriend, who was Japanese and broke his heart. He refused to supply nude pictures of her, so we are forced to conclude that she is imaginary. For Christmas, he claims he received a "charcoal Italian moleskin jacket", which he is apparently wearing at this moment, over his Casper-the-Ghost™ footie pajamas. So there you have it! From our experience, Equilateralperil is most likely his school's Designated Punching Nerd, and spends most of his spare time pulling his poodle-haired head from toilets, when he isn't writing excellent articles for Uncyclopedia. While he's on holiday in Perth or Canberra or someplace, do give them a read. Newsroom UnTune of the Week The Uncyclopedian's Song This space left intentionally penis.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

 ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Wed, Jan 2 '13 13:26 (UTC)

Name change, how does that work?

I wanted to change my user name officially to just "Aleister" but have procrastinated. What would that do to my edit history, user page, etc. Would it change everything at once, or would I have to copy and paste some stuff? And I tried to create a new account as Aleister, but it says the name is already taken although when I try to log in as Aleister (I may have already done this) it says their is no user by that name. So chains for the moment until this gets cleared up. Aleister 12:58 3-1-'13

Do you own the account "Aleister" that was used on de.uncyclopedia? If so, and if you can still log into it, I can give you the name here. All your edit history and so on would transfer to the new account, so that's not a problem.

Although Uncyclopedia has a different user database from the rest of Wikia, we still consider a name "taken" if it's registered in either place. It's just so someone can't pretend to be another user by registering the same name on the other database. But if you own the de.uncyc account, I can reconcile them. If not, maybe you can go for another variation? -- sannse (talk) 19:19, January 3, 2013 (UTC)

Ah, that must be it, someone probably has it in another wiki. Thanks anyway, I get by with the rd. Of course there is lots more to talk about in other areas, another time and over some green tea perhaps. Aleister 20:30 3-1-'13

Well, it's over.

I've got some free time and I always wanted to feel important and be a big-and-buff admin. Can I get that status now that everyone else has left, and I'd be the only one around to manage the site? →A (Fallen Reich)_{17:48 5 January 2013}

Sannse, although we all love you, nobody wants to talk with you. You're from Wikia. We don't give a rat's ass about Wikia anymore. Which is, oddly, as Frosty so nicely pointed out, why we're moving. It's your rules we don't like. And now you're even trying to rule over our departure from your wretched company? Not happening.

Trying to match those two statements together. Are you sure you don't have Dissociative Identity Disorder? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 03:26 06 Jan

Isn't there a page or something around here for voting in new admins? I'm sure I saw one, somewhere... -- sannse (talk) 05:11, January 6, 2013 (UTC)

Do we have any admins who are staying around? --Mn-z 13:41, January 6, 2013 (UTC)

Yes to that answer Mnbvcxz. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 14:16, January 6, 2013 (UTC)

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm going to Road Warrior the shit out of this place. It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 15:08, January 6, 2013 (UTC)

Sannse, I have a short, impulsive temper :) But yeah, since you could make people admins....and honestly like four people are going to be here. So very few people to maintain the entire site. I'd like to be one of the people who flips between sites, and has the ability to maintain our reputation. →A (Fallen Reich)_{22:55 6 January 2013}

It's great to see you'd like to be a part of the administration of this site, but as Sannse very plainly said, we have a page for voting for new admins. It has something to do with being in a sandwich. If Wikia ever started to just arbitrarily decide to appoint admins - ignoring the will of an active community - then there'd be a shitstorm. If you want to become an admin then suggest at VFS that we need new admins, and then wait ands see if you're nominated, and then wait to see if you're voted into the role. In the meantime, start looking or ways to actually act like an admin - patrol recent changes and put forward pages to be deleted, revert vandalism, welcome n00bs, pee review articles - but the most important part of being an admin - wear a sign on your back that says "kick me". Because being an admin is effectively asking for everyone to start treating you like scum of the Earth, and accepting abuse for being a glorified janitor.

If you want support in your quest to become an admin, I'm happy to metaphorically stick your head in a toilet and flush it repeatedly at any given stage. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:37 06 Jan

What Puppy said. Minus the bits about sticking your head in a toilet. I wouldn't do that, even metaphorically. Especially not with all the rumors that you have a short, impulsive temper -- sannse (talk) 00:01, January 7, 2013 (UTC)

Page Moves and user rights

If I am not mistaken, there was a page-move limit for regular users when I left. Was that removed, because it appears that a recent vandal was page move vandalizing rather quickly. --Mn-z 13:53, January 12, 2013 (UTC)

The term for that is "throttling" if I'm not mistaken. --Mn-z 22:07, January 12, 2013 (UTC)

Humm... yeah... looks like we'd need to set a rate limit. I don't see an old one removed, but maybe I'm not looking far enough back. Anyway, we can put one in place. I'm not fully confident in setting it without getting it checked though (I'm pretty good at missing out the bit of the code that means it doesn't blow up half the office) but I'll find someone to help me with it. In the mean time, perhaps a forum to decide exactly what rate you all want? It needs to be high enough to let genuine people do enough moves, but low enough to slow vandals. For example, you could allow 5 moves per minute, or 2 moves per 30 minutes, and so on. You can also set a different rate for newbies (and for IPs, except they can't move pages anyway) --- sannse (talk) 06:47, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

I remember it being 2 moves a minute or some similar rate. A larger move rate over a longer time frame might make more sense. I think it should be removed for rollback and above, since rollbacks can already suppress redirects. --Mn-z 07:06, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

Since there is already a 'cooling period' for new users, perhaps the multiple page moving rights should be made longer. So if we can extend that, it will help the site considerably. The vandalism was done by two users who had made accounts and remained dormant until the triggering their bot (or what ever it was). --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:59, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

I think this forum could be combined with the one for VFS as that will decide on admins for this site only. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:10, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

That is kind of a separate issue though. From what I can tell, the page move throttle was removed by accident. Then again, I wasn't active when it was removed. --Mn-z 08:12, January 13, 2013 (UTC)

I'd say it's a separate issue, but it's probably one that the admins should decide in consultation with the community, and that might be best when there's more admins. Maybe for now Romartus and the Chief can just decide on a number that feels about right, and we can see how it goes -- sannse (talk) 22:32, January 14, 2013 (UTC)

Hi Sannse, The Chief agreed with Mnbvcxz here and I can agree with that too for now. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:07, January 14, 2013 (UTC)

There was a suggestion after that for 10 per 10 minutes... shall I set that instead? Let me know on the forum -- sannse (talk) 00:57, January 15, 2013 (UTC)

Suicide

Hi Sannse, following a brief discussion on Romartus' talk page about the counselling phone numbers on articles like HowTo:Commit Suicide I have made an addition to the article, at the bottom under external links. Is that an acceptable change? I felt that it does the appropriate job without being too in your face. Let me know if that's acceptable. --ChiefjusticeDS 13:22, January 15, 2013 (UTC)

I would prefer it being the first thing people see... but this was always a (somewhat personal) request rather than a requirement, so I'll take what I can get ;) Thanks Chief -- sannse (talk) 20:18, January 15, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you

For this and the following edit. Much appreciated. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:34 21 Jan

Signatures with external website links

Just a quick question. Is there a policy where someone's sig can link to or advertise their own non-wikia website? See here User_talk:Romartus under the heading 'talk VFS'. Check the sig of User:Madclaw. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:12, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

We consider it spam. We'd ignore it if it were an unrelated personal site, say a personal facebook page. But if it's an advert for a commercial site (tripadvisor or something) or a facebook (or similar) page advertising another site, then it's not OK. And we particularly consider it a problem if it's linking to a wiki that forked from Wikia, or another one of our esteemed competitors. Hope that helps -- sannse (talk) 18:39, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Well Phooeeyy, this makes me a sad Madclaw, or a Sadclaw if you will. Madclaw @ ^talk 18:53, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Then I shall be a Sannsad that you are a Sadclaw :( -- sannse (talk) 19:02, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Sannsad sounds like an amazon sumo bodyguard for Syrian dictator Assad, are you sure you wan't to be seen as such? Madclaw @ ^talk 19:24, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Hell yeah, that would mean I'd have to put on weight. Instead of being a stereotypical dieting fat pleasantly plump woman. Show me the pie! -- sannse (talk) 19:51, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

3.1415927… oh, sorry. My mistake. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 09:49 24 Jan

This Pie is no lie

Sannse asks for Pie, Madclaw provides! Dear Sannse enjoy your Bea Arthur Pie my dear!! Madclaw @ ^talk 14:44, January 25, 2013 (UTC)

Wow, that's... scary. Thanks! -- sannse (talk) 21:27, January 25, 2013 (UTC)

Verification

Hey, sannse. It's Sir Peasewhizz from the IRC. This is my message confirming myself.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 04:08, January 27, 2013 (UTC)

DMCA Takedown notice

Apparently, an old image of File:Hamburger.jpg was removed due to a DMCA takedown notice. However, the image was a hamburger, and has not been used in almost 6 years since a new version was uploaded. I really could not care less that it is deleted, but I'm wondering if that was an error. With all the tenuous fair-use claims on this wiki, I'm surprised someone had an issue with THAT image of all things. On a related note, this does show one advantage of being hosted by a evil large corporation. --Mn-z 14:25, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

Dittos; what happens when the Fork receives its first DMCA notice? do they flip the sender the bird and announce that they are on a crusade against corporatism? If the offending image is not the most recent version, then it should be removed from the history, and any newer, legal version should survive. Or let's just upload something new that is suitable. Spıke ¬ 14:39 29-Jan-13

PS--Could other Wikia staff be asked to notify us of such decisions to delete, such as in the Forum Sannse opened for obscene photos? This would let us react more smoothly than simply having photos disappear. Spıke ¬ 14:42 29-Jan-13

The image is a non-issue. We have a newer, non-offending image, which replaced the offending in the edit history back in 2007. In other words, the offending image ONLY occurred in the history of another image. This is probably the least important takedown notice in the history of takedown notices.

Regarding notification, the deleting person (or bot?) left a message in the huff log. --Mn-z 14:50, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

So what happens with DMCAs at Wikia: we get a takedown notice, we check it's all legal and correct, then we remove the image (we don't have a choice here, legally speaking). Then there's a chance for you (or the uploader usually, as they should know the source) to send a counter notice. We check if that's all legal and correct, then we replace the image (again, all clearly set out in law). Then it's up to the person complaining and the person uploading to fight it out in a cage, with hammers and hand-held sharks the courts. There's bits in the official notices that make it more dangerous for the uploader to falsely send in a counter notice than it is for the complainant to send in a fake DMCA. This is because politics.

Anyway, in this case, as Mnbvcxz says, it's a minor one that won't need any sort of counter notice, but it seemed a good time to explain the process.

Semanticdrifter isn't a bot btw, just the guy that deals with most notifications, and so who has a standard summary explaining them. I've checked the takedown notice, and the deleted file, and yep... that's the one they wanted removed. Weird.

As for the fork, I can't comment on that - it depends on how they are hosted and stuff. I know we get (most) notices directly, but I don't know how that works for other sites -- sannse (talk) 18:26, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

Oh, and on the request for us to notify - I'm afraid it's as Mnbvcxz said (he keeps saying stuff) it's in the log, and while I understand the desire for more explicit notification, that'll have to do... I don't want to add extra steps to a process that we really need to be swift so we can move on to other stuff that needs to be done -- sannse (talk) 18:31, January 29, 2013 (UTC)

I'm still giggling over Semanticdrifter being referred to as a bot. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:36 29 Jan

I checked the page at FreeUncy and it looks like the pic is of some fast-food chain's cheap product, and their shame on people seeing it probably made them ask for its removal. Or an anal lawyer making a few thousand dollars in billable hours by having his kid look for pics of their product here. Aleister 22:42 29-1-'13

If the chain's trademark is in the photo, it's unsurprising that they don't want us using it to lampoon them or ridicule their customers. But we do have an article on most fast-food chains and we do use their trademarks, with a claim of Fair Use. My query about how this is handled at the Fork--which the chain must pursue next--is of course something Sannse can't answer; it's rhetorical, by way of again noting that Wikia does stuff for us that must be done in order to operate a website in the lawsuit-happy USA, and I hope but do not expect that the Forkers thought of the problems they might be taking on by going rogue. However, to Sannse's nice way of saying that Wikia does not have the time to tell us explicitly before yanking stuff out of our photo gallery: It really should make time. Spıke ¬ 22:55 29-Jan-13

Re notification: Storm meet teacup. Wikia are obliged to remove content based upon a DMCA takedown notice that has merit. Because of the way DMCA is written they have to do it immediately.

This particular issue (the hamburger) has almost no impact on this wiki. Starting a forum on “We've taken down an image that is in the history of one image page and used nowhere else” would be overkill. On more substantially impacting complaints they have received in the past they have raised the issue to the community.

Re the fork's response: I don't know if they have received a similar takedown notice, but it'd put their cabal in a similar position. Acting on it immediately and taking down the image keeps them out of potential protracted and expensive lawsuits. It's a risk v reward measure.

The intelligent response would be to take it down. They don't have the capital to fight it as a legal battle.

But that relates to only this particular request. As Sannse said, they look at the merit of a takedown notice before acting. If it were frivolous then choosing to not act on it is well within their rights. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:10 29 Jan

Keep in mind that the full extene of my legal knowledge comes from Boston Legal episodes. If Alan Shore didn't mention it, I don't know. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:14 29 Jan

Actually, as fair use has been mentioned, I'll go on a bit about that too. Although, similarly to PuppyOnTheRadio, my legal knowledge mostly comes from episodes of Star Trek. Consider that fair warning

The thing about fair use, is that it's a defense not a right. So images used as fair use can still be removed by the DMCA process. If it's a valid notice, we need to take it down, even if the image seems likely to be legitimately under fair use. But that's where the counter notice can come in, the uploader sends in a counter notice, and the image goes back up. Then, if the person who sent the original notice wants to fight it out further, it goes to court - and that's when the defense of "fair use" comes into play. So you can see that claiming fair use can actually be pretty difficult and potentially expensive. But on the other hand, it's pretty unlikely to go that far, and in most cases it's easy enough to find a alternative image anyway -- sannse (talk) 19:05, January 30, 2013 (UTC)

I would also like to point out, that, in the case in question, we would have no possible fair-use defense, as we aren't using the image anywhere. Also, one is not obliged to protect copyrights, but only trademarks. Copyrights and patents are "property" in a sense that trademarks aren't. In theory, one can ignore a copyright violation for literally 100 years, and then file a DMCA takedown notice. --Mn-z 14:39, January 31, 2013 (UTC)

Also, if someone were to win a copyright lawsuit over fair use, the fair use right would only apply to where the image was being lawfully used. If someone were to add such a image to their userpage, then the copyright holder could launch another copyright claim. --Mn-z 18:42, January 31, 2013 (UTC)

Regarding Spike's question of what the fork would do in a similar situation, this forum topic over there might shed some light on the issue. --Mn-z 20:41, February 5, 2013 (UTC)

To quote one of the Fork's luminaries (who was nominated for Admin here): "We should just give a traditional "Fuck you" to anyone who dares bring a lawsuit against us." Life is so easy when you reject reality. Profit might be an awful basis for creative writing, but people are going to find out that Loss is even worse. Spıke ¬ 21:04 5-Feb-13

Question

I heard there is/was a way to completely delete/destroy one's user account and contributions entirely. Like nuking an entire account. Is that still possible? →A (Fallen Reich)_{03:45 3 February 2013}

No. Anyone can choose to stop using an account, but (as shown on the fork) once anyone has made a contribution to have released it under NC-BY-CC-SA licence. (Although the licence may differ from wiki to wiki.) What the contributor chooses to contribute is governed by that licence as soon as it's submitted. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 05:32 03 Feb

Not what I meant, Pup. I meant if someone could "delete" an Uncyclopedia account. I was told it was possible by EMC. →A (Fallen Reich)_{20:32 3 February 2013}

I would imagine it is not possible for you to "delete" your account, since your account is shown in the history of all the pages you have contributed to. If the account were deleted it would have to be removed from there. Out of interest, why do you want to get your account deleted? --ChiefjusticeDS 21:35, February 3, 2013 (UTC)

What is possible is that one can rename one's account. Their contributions would remain intact but reflected under a different name. That's what I've done at the fork. The other thing is remove the email address from preferences and scramble the password. That's what Hyperbole did (accidentally) with his account. But either option is fairly useless. Contributions remain intact. There's a difference between pseudonyms and real names, so it doesn't identify as you. At best the outcome is a momentary confusion. At worst after this has been done the contributor cannot reclaim that old identity, even if they want to.

If EMC is aware of another option then he can do that on the fork. But given it's a fairly futile exercise, as Chief asks, why would anyone want to? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:33 03 Feb

Basically... what Pup said. We can change your nick, or disable your account by removing your email address and password, but that's it. Otherwise you have that confusion of contributions with no account attached -- sannse (talk) 22:15, February 4, 2013 (UTC)

Question unrelated to the above Nuking question.

Hey there dude- I've been off the site for a while and that makes me feel sad inside (of course it does) and I'm working on coming back- and then I get an email from this yokel named 'Bizzeebeever' about how there is a new Uncyclopedia- what is the f-ing deal...? I mean- yeah I haven't been around but what up with that? -- Sir Claudius CUN VFH (carpe diem) 22:41, February 6, 2013 (UTC)

Hi, I'm guessing you mean via the Uncyclopedia user mailing system? Well that makes me sad inside too. If possible, could you forward the mail to me at community@wikia.com please?

On the fork, if you look on the Dump you'll see all the history there. But it's totally uncool for Bizzeebeever to have used this site to contact you about it (did you notice the Dude-speak I slipped in there?). Anyway, I'm going to turn off the email functionality for this wiki for now... hopefully I'll be able to turn it back on later -- sannse (talk) 00:40, February 7, 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, make sure there is NO WAY for him to find out about the new site. That will prevent anyone from finding it. Good work. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Feb 7 '13 2:10 (UTC)

As the Chief Justice has now implemented a more targeted remedy for the duration of the misconduct, you may see fit to switch email back on. Spıke ¬ 10:57 7-Feb-13

Actually, i'd prefer you didn't. Sorry to contradict, but blocking a user does not stop the user sending emails. And a clever user can work around the “one email every 24 hours” restriction. I'd rather not open the gates to spam email. The restriction is minimal, and keeping things in the public domain is my preferred way to do things. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 11:19 07 Feb

Let's see how things are after a week or so. Anyone who really wants to talk via email, can still do so without Wikia of course, it just means exchanging email addresses directly -- sannse (talk) 21:18, February 7, 2013 (UTC)

One quibble: Preventing users from initiating unsolicited contact with other users might be appropriate now, but in the case of consenting users, the block also forces one of them to publish his email address, typically on one of these very public pages. Spider 'bots surf wikis and scoop up anything with an @ in it, and it's daily spam from then on. So it's not a matter of "just" exchanging addresses. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 21:30 7-Feb-13

PS--Anon has edited Terms of Use (one grammar correction, one cynical comment on the value of the articles). Spıke ¬ 21:33 7-Feb-13

I know it's not perfect, but they can (for example) jump on to a chat and exchange addresses in PM.

I see the ToU page got reverted, but you know those aren't the real ToU, right?... -- sannse (talk) 01:05, February 9, 2013 (UTC)

Ahem Um, sure. Knew it all along Spıke ¬ 14:21 9-Feb-13

There is a link to the actual terms of use below the articles, at the bottom left of every page. There is also a link to the contact info for our webhost. The fork, however, contains no real contact information, but rather cracks wise with fake navigation tools. --Mn-z 14:35, February 9, 2013 (UTC)

And you know I hate that. Spıke ¬ 14:46 9-Feb-13

Although, to be fair, you don't hate it nearly as much as someone trying to file a legitimate DMCA takenotice will. --Mn-z 16:28, February 9, 2013 (UTC)

Touché. And the consequences of taking issue with a preference of mine are minor by comparison. Spıke ¬ 16:36 9-Feb-13

Although, the guy filing the DMCA might be laughing all the way to the bank for all I know. --Mn-z 16:38, February 9, 2013 (UTC)

I assume that the particular corporation involved pay someone to trawl through images online in order to give DCMA notices. He probably gets paid as a corporate lawyer. In which case he earns money by looking a photos of burgers all day. Nice sinecure if you can get it. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 09:59 09 Feb

Parser change

It looks like most of the main project pages is broken, including the main page. That would seem to imply a parser change. --Mn-z 07:07, March 2, 2013 (UTC)

I tried reverting Romartus's last edit to the featured article queue, in case it had a typo; that didn't work. I can't debug this further. Spıke ¬ 15:18 2-Mar-13

It appears the issue is with <DPL> queries. For instance, have a look at User:PuppyOnTheRadio/image. As that uses pure DPL to generate that page, that suggests to me that's where the issue lies. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 03:41 02 Mar 2013

Separately (or maybe not), something is bollixing up BB's Java buttons that let me patrol multiple edits with a single keystroke; I am two days behind at this. Spıke ¬ 15:53 2-Mar-13

It looks as though the issue with <DPL> queries has resolved, but may require a purging of pages that are still impacted. I just tested User:PuppyOnTheRadio/image and as of 5 seconds ago - after I purged - it's now working again. As for the script - it looks like that is also working again, but haven't had a chance to fully test it. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:31 04 Mar 2013

I am back to normal as well. It would be nice to know what happened. Spıke ¬ 22:37 4-Mar-13

Hi guys. Yes, the problem was with DPL. We've had some issues over the last few days, which either meant error messages when pages loaded, or problems with Javascript (and a few other effects as well). During all this, we had to make server changes, that put more strain on the site. And to help reduce that, we had to turn off DPL for a while. So all in all, it was what we in the business call "an unpleasant weekend". Everything seems to be back to normal now and, of course, our techy guys are figuring out exactly what happened and how to make sure it doesn't again. Sorry for the problem all -- sannse (talk) 00:47, March 5, 2013 (UTC)

Oh, also, we generally post to twitter and facebook if we can't post on the wiki (which, at times, we couldn't). We also have a Skype channel that's open to regular users, and is a good way to find out quick info to take back to your wiki. Let me know if you want me to add you there -- sannse (talk) 00:49, March 5, 2013 (UTC)

As posted elsewhere, I drove down to the Public Library on Saturday in case some of the problem was my Internet connection, but hit youse at the depths of the outage. I think Simsie said she noticed the problems too. Email is the best way to contact me--not saying you need to whenever a problem arises, though if the site were to go down for a whole day, I wish you would. Spıke ¬ 01:27 5-Mar-13

This was an irritating one, because we were never "down" (or not for more than a short time), but various people in various areas had more or less problems. That's why we try to have the central places for updates: w:c:community:Blog:Wikia_Technical_Updates on-wiki (although, looks like we could have updated that more quickly) and twitter and facebook off-wiki. Personally, I wanted the chip-in-every-user's-head option, but someone pointed out that if we had technical issues with those, it could get... messy. I don't understand why though, my Wikia chip is still working perfectly! -- sannse (talk) 18:31, March 5, 2013 (UTC)

I'm already having issues with my Geocities and Alta Vista chips conflicting. Another chip may be overkill.(Psst… what's the twitter account?) Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 10:36 05 Mar 2013

Simsilikesims reports on my talk page that a comparable malfunction is still seen at the BHOP section of the Forum. Spıke ¬ 04:02 6-Mar-13

If you purge any pages that have these issues still (like http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Forum:BHOP?action=purge ) that'll kick them back into working order. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 06:39 06 Mar 2013

Content warning borked?

Hi S, the content warning seems to be broken on Chrome (approving it doesn't do anything) while it works fine under IE shell. Can you check? Also, Hi Sannse, how has you have has been? ~ 12:27, March 8, 2013 (UTC)

Mordilly! it's great to see you. All's good for me, I got a dog. How's Mrs Mordilly and the Dilliroos? (are there Dilliroos? My memory is like a goldfish)

I just downloaded Chrome, and the button works for me, which is confusing. Could you try one of the unchanged warnings like http://gpabars.wikia.com - does that show the same problem? If you are using an over version of the browser, you may want to update it, that can cure JS problems. Either way, let me know what you see, and we'll try to figure it out -- sannse (talk) 19:39, March 8, 2013 (UTC)

Also check browser security settings. If cookies are disabled that may impact on this as well. (Although I have no idea how to check that on Chrome. Never had any reason to block cookies.) I've also tried to replicate and had no problems. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 07:45 08 Mar 2013

Just checked this on my Google Chrome and didn't have any problems either. Do you have javascript enabled in Google Chrome? -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 21:39, March 8, 2013 (UTC)

Well shit, I know ya`ll just pressed the button that turned that thing off, as everything works just fine a dandy. I'm allowing cookies and JS, so no idea what happened. I'll let you know if this happens again, could be something to do with my work IT Security policy that blocks certain services that interfere here. Also, Sannse, Mordilla says hi back, one Dillon at this moment (and he's more than enough for now!). I'm already training him with the banstick, he seems to be doing fine with the kids at the creche, pretty soon he'll be ready for real nasty trolls! ~ 13:47, March 10, 2013 (UTC)

Excellent! I know he'll grow up to be as vicious and scary an admin as his father. No... wait... am I confusing you with Famine? -- sannse (talk) 19:09, March 11, 2013 (UTC)

You are indeed confusing me with Famine and his eldest son, Pestilence. ~ 14:53, March 12, 2013 (UTC)

Added element to content warning

While we're arguing over the content warning (again) I had an idea. At the moment the content warning doesn't appear to logged in users. Unless someone is a regularly logged in user though, they'll have no idea about that. Are we able to establish a link from the content warning that has a two part element that will:

• Establish an agreement to the CW and,
• Send a person to the log-in/register screen with a return to whatever page they landed on when entering?

This way we can have an explanation that they can dismiss the content warning by creating an account or logging in, but keep them navigating towards wherever they were. This also helps promote Wikia account creation, which will encourage people to return to the site more regularly.

It's a rough idea, but it should be doable. (As far as I can see the acceptance of the CW adds a cookie to the user's browser. Adding another link to an acceptance button that is not just returning to the page they came should be easy. I wouldn't use this to replace the current button, but as a third option.) Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 01:53 10 Mar 2013

Interesting thought.... I think the best thing is for me to send the idea over to the people who decide on such things, and see what they think. There might be ways to hack it in, but possibly a neater solution could be coded (although, such questions can take a while to get back). I definitely think keeping it relatively simple is important but, as you say, this might be a good way to encourage that log in -- sannse (talk) 19:12, March 11, 2013 (UTC)

Image Removal

Received an alert that this pic File:Spart03.jpg from Spartacus:Gore and Nudity was violating something or other. It is a scene in the TV show (I know, I have watched it). Since the article was to poke fun at the show, the picture was to show the regular coupling and orgy scenes. Or was it the boob grab that was a problem?? --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:47, March 14, 2013 (UTC)

UnBooks:Where do babies come from?

Most of the images from this page have been deleted. It's being marked as a ToU vio. These images are all from a children's book by WP:Per Holm Knudsen. There is no way to substitute for these images. As a result it's destroying a featured article and previous PLS winner. Are we able to restore these images? Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 08:28 15 Mar 2013

Simsilikesims has spent tons of time this afternoon trying to sew up the holes ripped in many Uncyclopedia articles, including one of Romartus's, based on a TV show, that is now on VFH. Is Wikia's position still that there is no time to inform us of these deletions and the reasons for them, much less to give us a chance to censor or adapt them before they disappear, as you used to do? (PS--"Children's books" from Denmark are only sold here in mysterious shops with wrapping paper on the doors and windows, and in certain convenience stores but they are behind the cashier.) Spıke ¬ 20:37 15-Mar-13

What the unmentionable unmentionables?? Something is wrong here. Those images were not set for deletion, I'm sure of it. I don't understand it yet, but this is not intentional. Gah! This is where I'm seriously limited by being all staff-like and stuff... please insert some very annoyed words here! -- sannse (talk) 23:58, March 15, 2013 (UTC)

OK, there's three that I can't undelete, and I can't work that out right now (I've really got to go <somewhere other than at this computer>). Again, I'm sorry about this... we'd worked out a process for these (and I had put a load on hold until I had time/inclination to go through that process) and this wasn't it. I'll be doing some testing over the weekend to find out what exactly happened -- sannse (talk) 00:43, March 16, 2013 (UTC)

I can restore the images from off-site versions. If you can dredge up the page history (without images) I'll re-upload them. (Assuming that's all kosher). Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 01:06 16 Mar 2013

I see that it has been fixeded. Never mind. Sir CPT Dr PuppyOnTheRadio GUN UmP WotM NotM FP VFP VFH CM POTM UGM 01:09 16 Mar 2013

New content warning

I'll install the voted-on content warning at the top of the hour. Please confirm that it's working if you are near a screen. Spıke ¬ 00:56 27-Mar-13

We've gone from the most interesting content warning on the net to the most boring content warning on the net. Aleister

It does have clouds! I trust your message means you can see it. So can I, only for the minute it takes the cloud photo to arrive, it is white on very light blue (and if it were not for my local CSS, it would be white on white).

I'm definitely happy to see the storm clouds gone - and perhaps the element of humor can grow over time... in a not-too-distracting-and-difficult-to-click-through way -- sannse (talk) 19:08, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

Censored iconic photograph

Now here is a problem which you should bring to your board, or to Jimbo Wales, or to your "new" CEO who probably never posted here - why would you remove the pic of the child who had just been napalmed in Vietnam and tore off her clothes? That is one of the most iconic photographs of the Vietnam War. The chop of the photo had a large American attack plane seen as skidding towards the children, yet it was made very well and portrayed one of those "pictures worth 1000 words". Now, did Wikia remove it because it's a naked picture of a little girl? Removing this work of art, this iconic photo (did it win a Pulitizer? I'm not sure but it may have), may be a new low of this censorship policy. And I'd like a longer answer than your standard answers to me which usually take the tone of "Oh Aleister!" Thanks. Aleister 1:09 27-3-'13

For the record, I saw Sannse's request and I deleted it. As I noted in the same Forum, the nudity was gratuitous to the point of the photo, showing a jetliner chasing people on the ground. Spıke ¬ 01:17 27-Mar-13

"Sannse's request" are the key words here. This is much more than a jet chasing people on the ground, it is a chop using an iconic photograph and adding a layer of terror onto it - that picture should be featured and honored and not censored. This needs a forum here too, coming right up.Aleister 1:30 same day

Wow. You are taking down a Pulitzer Prize–winning photograph claiming it's "porn"? Oh boy. That's the funniest thing I have seen on "Uncyclopedia" for some time. It was featured on the front page of the New York Times, got a Pulitzer Prize and was chosen as the World Press Photo of the Year for 1972. Yet it's "porn". Ohhhhh. boy... MrN  Fork you! 22:26, Mar 27

It's not about the image itself, or even the nudity alone... it's about using a picture of a naked burning child for a few laughs. That's something I'm not comfortable with. -- sannse (talk) 19:04, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now with 20% more ninjas!

April 9th, 2013 • Issue 181 • Voted best newspaper of Uncyclopedia: 2010, 2011 and 2013.

Pissing About By Brother ScottPat What most of you have been reading the past few weeks. It has been noted recently that there has been a huge decrease in the number of pee reviews made each week. Before some hard-work pissing a few days ago there were still pee reviews from November 2012 left to review. This has made many uncyclopedians unhappy that their work isn't being pissed on by other more experienced and toilet trained uncyclopedians. Remember that if you want to have your article reviewed then you must first review someone elses. There has been an influx of noobs joining these last five months and many of them would love help on how to improve their articles and help on how to make them funny. Many noobs such as Dannyboy and Anton199 have been struggling to produce good-quality articles and have required information from admins and a few others that their articles are bad or not funny but they are not being told the specifics and how to improve the articles. The general message that Uncyclopedia and Unsignpost want to put out is stop day dreaming and start "pissing about." Get on the pee review page and write a few reviews every week. Even upload some articles to be reviewed. By doing this we can turn the Pee Review page from a stagnant wasteland of tripe into a growing community with bonds of friendship being made between the reviewers and the writers (yeah right!). Just piss a bit more please. The same situation applies to the Votes For Highlight page which sees its usual voters ever week however the number of regular visitors and contributors to the VFH page is not enough for the articles there to get high enough votes to either fail or pass being features. When you visit that page please try to vote for and/or against on as many articles as you can so that everyday can have a new article featured. Recently on the VFH page we have seen the articles Thainglish and Modus ponens go through to pass the test. However these were featured a few days ago and are likely to be up for a week. Contenders for the next featured article seem to be Flag Burning Amendment(5/2), UnNews:A-bombs dropped on Japan awarded Nobel Peace Prize(5/0) and Capitalism: in grammar(5/1). Article 2 By Nobody Look at the blankness of the article. Nobody is writing this article this week as nobody has contributed. Apparently somebody's excuse for not contributing was that nobody had done it already which really isn't a valid excuse. Somebody encourages others to write in this space the next time UnSignpost is released so that nobody doesn't have to do it again. Nobody has been writing the last three month's UnSignposts after all. Anyway back to the point. Nobody would like to point out that recent events in the news such as the war against the other uncyclopedia websites with the April Fools prank which admitedly nobody knows anything about but somebody may be able to tell you more on that story. Also Magaret Thatcher, the role model, has died so Uncyclopedia is looking for someone to write a funeral song for her to be played at that glorius moment. I mean glorious in that we can celebrate her awful policies in politics - awfully good policies that is. The last and only entry we have received so far was, UnTunes:Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead however sadly this was banned and deleted by wikia authorities before we got the chance to hear it.

Check out these pages! Monopoly (game) Philosophy UnScripts:Our Town UnBooks:Robin Hood (2012 short story by Julian Assange) HowTo:Get back to London if you suddenly find yourself in France penguin club penguin UnSignpost Reviews "It was amazingly bad." "I can't believe they call this a newspaper." "It's awful[ly good]" Biopic of the Week Dannyboy1209, might be new and a bit mischievous, but he is a really nice guy and knows a thing or two about computers and might even be an admin one day. He started recently and wants to try and be a bit of a success. He has had trouble with his first few articles in creating a humour element to them but is working harder now than he ever has before and with the help of a few admins he is going to be producing dozens of featured pages by the week. Newsroom UnTune of the Week UnTunes:Can't Stop Him Now Contributions to UnSignpost Thanks to the recent scandal that UnSignpost has been involved in where half our editors and journalists were sacked after they were accused of hacking into other people's Uncyclopedia accounts we have been left short staffed. Please help in the future by contributing articles to make sure that this newspaper can exist in the quality that it is already in. Thanks you. Please check out the main page of UnSignpost as there is new information there about a change in editors. Contributors: Main Editor and Writer: ScottPat Biopic Contributor: Dannyboy Assistant Image Editor: Aleister

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Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:34, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Express Delivery...is not available today (just normal delivery)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

May, 4th 2013 - May the Fourth be with you! • Issue 182 • Sponsered by (and biased towards) the Rebel Alliance.

International Star Wars Day By Brother ScottPat The Uncyclopedian government is printing all currency with Darth Vader's face on today. Once again it is that time of year when we must take a day off to remember those who fought for the Rebels against the evil empire. As you know Uncyclopedia has a large Jedi community and to reach out to all our religious groups no matter how liberal they are we muast help them with their festivals. What will you do on International Star Wars day? Perhaps you shall visit the temple and pray for the dead of Hoth? Perhaps you will use the force for good and strangle some politicians? Whatever it is that you want to do Uncyclopedia is there to support you. One user who will remain nameless, is going to attempt to raise money for charity by speaking in Jedi for the whole day. The money he collects will go to Unsignpost the homeless hitch-hikers who are struggling to find somewhere to settle down after their home planet of Alderon was destroyed. Nobody Cares By Nobody Nobody has been handing out welcome messages to people recently signed with different admins names and nobody was concered by the huge discussion on a forum about it. Nobody would like to apolagise for this because to be quite frank Nobody did it. Many admins were getting quite frustrated that Nobody had done it as they had wanted to do the welcome messages instead. It was later discovered by Spike that it wasn't Nobody (Nobody disagrees) that had done it (excuse my grammar) but that it was an automated Wikia message. This has caused some members of our community to vent even more frustration with Wikia however this newspaper would like to point out that Wikia has done a lot to benefit us and Nobody agrees that the welcome message (and content warning) has been very useful. The fact that the message has now been stopped is thanks to the admins sorting the problem out with Wikia so on this note Nobody would like to thank the admins for their help in running this site. Also Nobody cares about UnSignpost and Nobody is moved that there are a lack of articles submitted to UnSignpost to be featured in the newspaper. UnSignpost would therefore like to remind you that it is vital to support your community newspaper as it supports the community. Top VFH competitors Question Authority (5/0) SPIKE Zsa Zsa Gabor (5/0) Many contributers. Nominated by Romartus Ph.D. (5/0) SPIKE

Urgent Appeal Rumour has it that the co-editor of UnSignpost (Dannyboy) was recently banned from Uncyclopedia and is barely surviving in the miserable world of reality. He is currently traumatised and struggling to eat. He has had to cope with extreme poverty for many days. UnSignpost has launched an appeal to help him in this time of sadness and depression: just a donation of £2 a month could help to restore Dannyboy to a fit and active state so that he is ready to continue Uncyclopeding again. Please, please donate and don't let Dannyboy waste away, forgotten and unwanted. For more details visit the editor's talk page. Thank you for your time. Check out these pages! Star Wars Unidentified man in green firing turret UnNews:Galactic Empire raises terror alert level to orange Galactic Empire Star Wars (video game) UnSignpost Reviews "I thought I'd seen the worste [than this and I had.]" "I didn't realise that people still read this [but then I realised how good it was]." Biopic of the Month Unfortunately due to lack of UnSignpost support there is no biopic for this week. Please send a biopic of yourself or someone you hate to our press room and it may feature in our next UnSignpost edition. Newsroom UnTune of the Week UnTunes:If I Was Admin Contributions to UnSignpost Contributors: ScottPat, Nobody Main Editor and Writer: ScottPat Biopic Contributor: Nobody contributing a biopic this month.

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Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH and Bar (talk) 18:01 22, May 2013

This UnSignpost may be unsuitable for some viewers!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

May, 10th 2013 • Issue 183 • Uncyclopedia set to have a bright future. Sunglasses stocks are running low.

Should we be adopting a Russian style approach? By Anton Is this the real face behind Uncyclopedia? A full week has passed since our last edition and the news is piling up, notably the story for which we'd "clear Page One" if we ever had more than one page: This week was just like last week. The only exeption being that more evidence has led certain users to believe that Uncyclopedia is being controlled by a higher power. The evidence is listed here: Firstly, Uncyclopedia's only "openly" Welsh editor has left the site in protest over the obvious racism against her race (are the Welsh a race?) or language, on the part of either us, Britain, or Wikia. Overlooked is the fact that the member is female, a class we proudly discriminate in favor of. Consequently, both Admin Simsilikesims and recently un-permabanned Zana Dark have complained at how the celibate masses at Uncyclopedia are wiping their mouths when either walks by. A higher power has intervened and has tried to assuage the fallen-away member by decreeing that all Uncyclopedia articles must now be written in Welsh (and users must install the Unicode "ancient rune" font page) but to no avail. Also, Funnybony, after 8 Uncyclopedia writing prizes, 44.5 entries in the Hall of Shame (our eighth most prolific ever), and 546 articles, just keeps getting nominated on VFH. We are studying how it is possible that he can't ever write an article that isn't featured. Maybe the votes have been rigged, maybe some users are being brainwashed or perhaps it's just that Funnybony has a lot of sockpuppets. Warning: This article may be inappropriate for some viewers By Sir ScottPat Hurry, hurry! The next round of debates about the content warning have begun. Uncyclopedia is proud to present its third row over what should be written on the content warning. Tickets are available but there are only a limited number of places so please book in advance. Aleister kicked off with bringing the topic into a conversation with SPIKE on a completely unrelated forum, SPIKE immediatly reacted by calling off play and deciding to move to another pitch as this one was too wet and reminded Aleister that this strategy had been used twice before to no avail. Undetered Aleister replied by claiming that the first change worked but the second change reverted the content warning to the original and this time we'd get it right. Aleister then preceded to run up the pitch dribbling the ball through the midfielders. ScottPat ran down the wing screaming at Aleister to go for the goal now. Aleister who was about to storm off the pitch thanked ScottPat and continued. Shabidoo then charged down the other wing hurling attacks at the original content warning defenders who seemed to be non-existant before swearing so much he collapsed into a ball. Startled ScottPat replied that he didn't want top have anything to do with anti-Wikia extremism and Aleister lined up the ball for the shot into goal. Aleister placed the ball into the back of the net with a vote for the new content warning. ScottPat ran up to him patting him on the back and giving him a "for" followed by Simsie and Puppy. SPIKE then struck back attempting to shoot the ball into the back of the new content warning supporters' net with the opinion that readers don't care about the content warning although he saw that the other team were fierce and wrote to Wikia asking the content warning to be removed as it was no longer needed. Aleister, Puppy and ScottPat defended against him with three replies while Mhaille ran up the pitch and saw a goal scoring oppurtunity with another content warning proposal however Scottpat was unsure that that oppurtunity would get them the goal that the team were aiming for. Puppy stood with the ball wandering whether to pass it to Mhaille afterall but remained indecisive. That was a report of the game so far, more to come next week. Top VFH competitors Question Authority (5/0) Zsa Zsa Gabor (6/0) National Transportation Safety Board (5.5/0) Will Harridge (5/0) VFH Highlight of the week Belgian Mountain Troops (6/0)

Check out these pages! Hitler Has Only Got One Ball Rubik's Cube FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives UnSignpost Reviews "Please stop sending me this newspaper! [It's so good I haven't finished reading the last one for the fifth time!]" "There's [ine]quality and there's unsatifactory but this is just s[o good I nearly] hit [my head, I laughed so much!]" Biopic of the Month ScottPat ScottPat is an overly zealous and patriotic nutter. He is of the male sex and he is half English, half Scottish and half Manx (person from the Isle of Man). ScottPat resides in Britain and doesn't want to live anywhere else as he prefers the rain and the pessimism. Things that annoy ScottPat are swearing, foreigners who think Britain is rubbish, republicans (not the American party, the people who don't want a Queen), British people who don't like their own country, Capitalism, Communism and religion. However ScottPat does like Monarchism, patriotism, science, history, politics, English and comedy. ScottPat's favourite quote is: "Who are you Mr. President?" although he is not a UKIP supporter (he votes Monster Raving Loony every time) and quite likes the EU, it's just that a Brit pissing off a European who thinks he has more authority than the Brit does is funny. ScottPat finds a lot of his comedy in how Britain still thinks that it is the ultimate superpower in the World but no one else does and also in historical European disputes. Newsroom UnTune of the Week UnTunes:I Am The Very Model of a Crazy Fundamentalist Contributions to UnSignpost Contributors: Anton, ScottPat Main Editor and Writer: ScottPat Biopic Contributor: ScottPat

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Sir ScottPat CUN VFH UnS NotM(talk) 14:28, May 9, 2013 (UTC)

The UnSignpost has arrived...Quick hide!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now With 0 Trans Fat!

May, 18th 2013 • Issue 184 • Vandalpedia strikes back! Luckily the Jedi will return.

Is it time to have a site-wide Competition? By Sir ScottPat The panel of judges. A recent forum on village dump has brought the thought of having an article competition to the Uncyclopedian user masses. "Competitions would increase productivity of articles," claimed the forum writer ScottPat when interviewed by himself. Recent studies done by wikia authorities confirm this. The idea would be to have a panel of experienced judges (probably admins) who could judge the articles submitted by users. By having three judges there would be less opinionation. The articles can then be given scores out of 50 just like on pee review with some comments. The overall winner could be given a template and so could the winner of each individual category. Categories could be based on: humour, content, parody humour, satire, images and so on. If you would like to support this and want to have a competition then please do get in touch by voicing your opinions on the forum. This will surely help to make Uncyclopedia better and will be fun for everyone. A Reflection on the Week By Anton We shall not end up like this. Summer holidays are coming and users seem to become more active. This shows that we are gradually recovering from the recent uneconomic downturn. For example an unknown IP vandal who seemed to be sleeping for the whole year and whose only contributions were to add several quotes here and there, is fully awake now. During the last two days (to be more accurate: nights) he was trying to realize a very carefully planned attack. He has added several quotes to at least 20 pages on Uncyclopedia. His goal was to... Well, no one knows what his goal was because it has not been achieved and Uncyclopedia has neither lost its high morality, nor encountered a major crisis. To be honest, everything that the vandal did in an hour (probably), has been undone in ... several minutes. Those who saved Uncyclopedia from external enemies and whom we can thank are: Simsilikesims (as always), Spike, ScottPat, Frosty, Llwy-ar-lawr and...ahem... me. Our advice to this person is to read Uncyclopedia:Vandalism is pointless, so he will not waste time and will maybe even begin making useful contributions. Other important news are: Llwy-ar-lawr has returned in order to continue arguing explain us her point of view on virtual discrimination of the national minorities (probably some Americans, Russians, etc.). Also a recent poll has shown that 99% of our users are inactive. This probably means they are hibernating. Recently User:Zim ulator has woken up and User:Orian57 appeared briefly. Zim ulator seems to be here to stay so on behalf of the community of Uncyclopedia we welcome him back. Top VFH competitors William Lane Craig (5/0) Zsa Zsa Gabor (6/0) PhD (5/0) Will Harridge (5/0) VFH Highlight of the week Probability theory (7/0)

Check out these pages! Question Authority Biggles UnNews:Nazi leader cleared of nazism UnSignpost Reviews "How can I stop receiving this junk mail? [As I have to file through it to get to my UnSignpost]" "Not [not] worth reading." Biopic of the Month Mhaille Mhaille's real name (as is 42% percent of the British male population) is Niles, though this is actually pronounced "MAHL-ee." Niles is one of the few notable British Uncyclopedians. He's married to popular Eskimo singer Björk, and collects used batteries. Mhaille is the admin to talk to if you're a n00b, because he doesn't hate you outright... yet. Mhaille has helped Gollum's recording career by buying all his albums, watches Euthenasia politics on BBC4, is a history buff that loves old British Army entertainment reels, and is a self-declared "warrior-poet," whatever that means. Newsroom UnTune of the Week UnTunes:Are we human or are we cancer? Contributions to UnSignpost Contributors: Anton, ScottPat Main Editor and Writer: ScottPat Biopic Contributor: Mhaille

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Sir ScottPat CUN VFH UnS NotM(talk) 16:18, May 18, 2013 (UTC)