User:Sannse
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
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Uncyclopedian of the Month February 2009
Scary!?
Stuff what I have done:
- Milton Keynes
- UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure - Featured.
- The British Class System - Featured.
- TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL - Featured
- Some images. my favourites are below, the rest are in my gallery.
 featured |
 featured |
 featured |
 featured |
 semi featured* |
 semi featured* |
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*semi featured: used to illustrate a front page article
[edit] Image:'re winner! trophy.JPG
In response to the comment you left on mah talk page, go ahead and delete it. --GAMESPOT=666 21:45, 4 April 2007 (UTC)
- Done. :) --
sannse 
esnnas 11:51, 5 April 2007 (UTC)
User_talk:sannse/Archive cards & stuff
[edit] UnSignpost May 14th
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
May 14th, 2009 • Issue 47 • And you will know our name is the UnSignpost when we lay our news upon you!
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Wales Speaks Exclusively to UnSignpost!
 When pressed on these vital issues, Jimbo confided to us: "You kids get offa my pipe! Now, where's my lawn?" These are words that every user will interpret in their own special way - Jimbo, like all great orators, has the ability to make profound pronouncements that each and every listener will put their own unique spin on, so that it seems he is talking to them alone. Whatever pearl of wisdom you find in this oracular utterance, we are sure it is exactly what you were intended to find. Crowning Acheevement
 Rules < Funny: The Essay
 Is it a Usergroup if there are no Users Grouped in it?
 In January 2009, archaeologists from the Philippines dug through the ruins of the usergroups and found compelling evidence that there is still a small amount of activity in the UNSOC group, whose interim leader Necropaxx was heard to observe "UNSOC has about 3 or so active users right now; we just keep that gigantic list to inflate our numbers". The non-existent Cabal have not made any comment about this being a dastardly plan of theirs to ensure the "golden Age" of Uncyclopedia 2005-2007 remains sacrosanct. Because they don't exist, obviously. |
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Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky
(talk) (stalk)
KUN SotM UotM 19:07, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
[edit] UnSignpost May 21st
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
May 21st, 2009 • Issue 48 • I've seen news you... people wouldn't believe
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Glorious Cajek return story
 People disappearing, people reappearing, people with little time on their hands, bots unavailable  In the mean time, fortunately, several other users have made glorious returns to Uncyclopedia. As documented elsewhere, a Cajek is apparently back and doing stuff. MNM5150 has been doing some things around places, mostly the forums. Readmesoon has been spotted at VFH and a few talkpages. Yettie has been sporadically active. And Todd Lyons has been doing more stuff recently than he was doing less recently.  A lot of users seem to be unable to contribute as their work/school requires them to spend their time on "useful" things. The more young adult users/little kids seem to be struggling with certain "finals", like Mahm00shA for instance. SysRq appears to be working on his graduation. Statistics show that Hyperbole's activity has been rather low, but recently increased dramatically. For how long this trend will continue is uncertain. UU has been here intermittently, but keeps proclaiming himself to be "busy". He commented "I don't have time. In fact, I may not even have time for banning and deleting today, things are going fucking nuts! [...] I have teetering mounds of work, and nowhere near enough time! Arrrrrgh! (I almost feel a second exclamation mark coming on, but nothing's that bad...)" He then proved himself to be a big fat liar by editing this story and various other bits of the UnSignpost.  Additionally, while Wikipedia is being overrun by bots, they seem to have gone completely extinct on Uncyclopedia. This has led to our beloved Socky becoming partly mechanized in order to fill the role of paperbot. However, he is currently planning to get his bot operational so he won't have to tire his arse off every week. Porn! Porn! Pr0n!
 There has been somewhat of a controversy as of lately about the existence of supposed pornographic images on Uncyclopedia. Some support the view "Only if it's funny.", while others say "Meh." The controversy led Orian57 to put all his gay porn on QVFD. Optimuschris was quoted saying "I don't know what the fuss is all about, there's no porn on Uncyclopedia!" The discussion seems to have concluded in something like "If it's really bothering you and isn't funny in any way, delete it!" Mnbvcxz might also want to add that pictures showing prominent nudity could give rise to some legal issues, though he wasn't actually available for comment, so we can't really be sure. Usergroups! Usergroups! Usergroups!
 War is raging in usergroup land. IC, suffering major losses, has been grinded to a halt and was forced into defensive strategy, regressing to trench warfare. But UNSOC, with masses of new recruits, has declared an all out war against any potential competition. Meanwhile, a new powerful group has arisen, Der Unwehr, and they have established themselves as a force to be reckoned with. The Goa Tse Clan has gone into hiding and remains a mystery to most Uncyclopedians. "The End" is being foretold once more
Since this UnSignpost issue almost didn't make it to the press, it was inevitable that there would be foretellings of "The End" and it being "near". On Forum:Count to a million, Orian57 was found stating "we could all die [...] then how stupid would we look?" A lot of users made somewhat eccentric speculations on how several issues were related to this "impending doom". Multiliteralist, Cajek and Optimuschris posted the following "articles" in response to a request to write something for the UnSignpost. Porn and the impending doom As we all know, the impending doom to all good things is caused by porn. This vile practice of drawing pictures of naked women has spread so wide among our young men that it is almost impossible to get them to do anything else. User groups and the impending doom
No wai, the impending doom is caused by user groups! Impending doom and porn
Our porn! The usergroups are coming, and with them...impending doom! Treasure these last few mumble with your porn for the end is nigh! First person article about porn and impending doom I was in a usergroup, watching porn. Suddenly I understood watching porn in a usergroup would do nothing against the impending doom. I got rather stuck, and forgot the reason. Later, I forgot about the impending doom as well. That's what watching porn in a usergroup will do to you. Suddenly I understood: if you are the first person in a usergroup, nobody can make you watch porn. My advice
The perfect solution to problems with porn, usergroups, and the impending doom Form your own usergroup and make others watch porn! |
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Brought to you by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) KUN SotM UotM 22:50, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Communism was here
-- Communist. 
(talk) 23:05, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Automated thingies
I'm getting myself a working bot, but I don't really know how they work. Any advice is appreciated. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) KUN SotM UotM 08:59, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- Sorry, neither to I. I've used AWB, which is a semi-bot that's available, but I certainly don't know how to use a real bot. All I can do is add a bot flag to the account. That just hides the bot from recent changes so it doesn't overwhelm the page with edits. I think the current procedure is to get an admin to agree to the flag being added (once the bot is active and shown to be working correctly) -- sannse
(talk) 09:59, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- There is a guide at Wikipedia for AWB. Pywikipediabot has tutorials in each of it's scripts, if you're going that direction. I personally use both. --CharitwoTalk 10:00, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- I think you're putting the carriage before the horses. Better study the subject first and get a bot after you actually know how to operate it. I wouldn't want to have a bot that's out of hand. Things like that create the terminator series, and we all know where the head actor ended. ~
10:26, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- In the governor's mansion in California? --CharitwoTalk 10:28, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- Yes, that's why I'm asking this on several people's talkpages. I'm just a bit tired of hand delivering the UnSignpost, so I'm looking into getting a bot. —Sir Socky
(talk) (stalk)
KUN SotM UotM 10:30, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- For something like that, AWB will work good enough. Just make the list in notepad using this syntax:
- I think you're putting the carriage before the horses. Better study the subject first and get a bot after you actually know how to operate it. I wouldn't want to have a bot that's out of hand. Things like that create the terminator series, and we all know where the head actor ended. ~
- There is a guide at Wikipedia for AWB. Pywikipediabot has tutorials in each of it's scripts, if you're going that direction. I personally use both. --CharitwoTalk 10:00, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
# [[:User_talk:PersonA]]
# [[:User_talk:JewB]]
# [[:User_talk:LesbianC]]
- Then create your login, and add the text of the unsignpost (header included) to the append text section (make sure any other option is unchecked). Then make a list from a text file using what you saved from the signup sheet. Be sure to PREVIEW the edit before you save it, and it should place it at the bottom of the page easy enough. --CharitwoTalk 10:40, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- That sounds easy enough. Thanks. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) KUN SotM UotM 10:43, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- Or alternatively, you can ask Charitwo to do it for you! Hooray! ~ 10:48, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- I had all kinds of trouble when I used the AWB to deliver the unsignpost, and its probably easier to do it manually. --Mnb'z 14:16, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- Or alternatively, you can ask Charitwo to do it for you! Hooray! ~
- That sounds easy enough. Thanks. —Sir Socky
- Then create your login, and add the text of the unsignpost (header included) to the append text section (make sure any other option is unchecked). Then make a list from a text file using what you saved from the signup sheet. Be sure to PREVIEW the edit before you save it, and it should place it at the bottom of the page easy enough. --CharitwoTalk 10:40, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Lifty and Shifty
Hey Sannse, maybe you should block this person forever for their actions this morning that I had to clean up, thank you very much <16:36 May 22, 2009>
- Yeah, I didn't actually look at the image at first... now infinitely blocked... oh, and must go block Sycamore too now -- sannse esnnas 16:38, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- On a related note, you might want to look at his userpage, if you haven't already. (Fortunately, it has no eye rape.) --Mnb'z 16:57, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Questionz
Are multiple people allowed to use one account? We had a user a while back, Tribbuca, who was obviously operated by 3 people, and was blocked for a year for being a douche- the problem is, one guy could've been being an asshole, the others could've been OK. Are accounts only to be operated by one person? Saberwolf116 00:31, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
- That's a question for the community as a whole. As far as Wikia is concerned, it's up to each individual wiki to decide. Personally, I like to know who I'm talking to. and as it's totally free to make an account, I can't see any good reason to share. But if you want a definitive answer, take it to the Dump -- sannse (talk) 08:26, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Username problem
Hi, it appears someone has hacked into my original username (Canoepolio) and changed the password on me. Is there any chance you could fix that for me please? Im sure the IP addresses will confirm who i am. Thanks - —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Canoepolio2 (talk • contribs)
- Sorry, as you didn't set an email address for Canoepolio (or it's been removed) I can't recover the account. IPs don't show anything, they change over time in most cases, and there is no direct match between the two accounts. You will have to settle for the new name I'm afraid (and take more care with your password!) -- sannse (talk) 08:36, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Thanks for sorting out the report thingys
| This person has done good deeds in the eyes of Sycamore |
Thanks again:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 12:51, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
- Awww, no problem :) -- sannse (talk) 20:43, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
[edit] UnSignpost! May 28th, 2009
May contain traces of humor!
May 28th, 2009 • Issue 49 • The kind of news your momma warned you about
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Going Portal
 What, some of you may ask, are portal pages? Well, rather than have us explain it laboriously for you (because that sounds like, you know, effort), why not take a look at the following highly sexy portals: Politics; Games; Science; History and Art. And with more to come including the intriguing concept of a Quaint portal from Cajek, one thing's for sure: there has recently been an increase in the number of portals on Uncyclopedia. What? Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia!  We also asked the wealthy Egyptian and Babylonian antique collector Mr. Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar the 1st to comment and he exclusively replied: "Nile doesn't have any power. Now the Tigris-Euphrates, that's a different story". Not only does this tell us that the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists are cooler than Nile conspiracists, but that Nile could not invade Uncyclopedia even if they wanted to, and you should be afraid of the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists - very afraid. To sum it up, there is no Nile and Nile related articles invasion of Uncyclopedia, just as there is no cabal. |
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The only newspaper to be delivered by Pleb KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 19:38, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Help, pl0x
Hi, I left a message in Village Dump asking for help, this one, to be exact, because I forgot my password, and some guy there told me to ask you about it. SO WUT IZ TEH ANSWAR? - •
- Sorry, there is no email address in the database for that account, so the system can't send you an email and I can't verify you are you. You'll have to make a new account I'm afraid -- sannse (talk) 20:36, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
- Aww... sigh, OK.
[edit] UnSignpost June 4th, 2009
The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!
June 4th, 2009 • Issue 50 • I love the smell of news in the morning!
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Todd not Lionised by all?
 Lyons himself was deeply touched by the tribute, exclusively telling the USP: "I'm a bit surprised (though not touched, like the WotM nomination this month), because I generally shy away from the snappy/nasty ban summaries that would guarantee me a spot in the UnSignpost. Really, RDB is my #1 pick for this, and richly deserves to have a hate group on Facebook (if not several dozen by now). :) Second, if I had any insecurities that I'd lost my touch with the ban hammer after being on hiatus, they're gone. The arm's feeling great. The surgery seems to have been a 100% success. I'm feeling good that I'll be able to finish out the season and hopefully garner some interest as a bureaucrat when I become a free agent this fall." The group's creator was unavailable for comment, probably due to being banned. Comings and Goings  As you may or may not have noticed, there recently seems to be a flurry of returns and hiatuses (hiati?) on this silly wiki that some of us like to call Uncyclopedia. This could be due to a number of things: the end of the school year and thus the end of studying and finals; the summer season causing new and strange emotions in internet comedy writers; the revolving door recently installed at the Uncyclopedia headquarters. Regardless of the reason, those returning have been 'welcomed', and those leaving have been warned that their userpages will be mercilessly vandalized should their vacation extend overly long. Popular aquatic creature user Finnius claims to have returned. His contributions since returning have thus far been limited to announcing his return in the forum (as required by Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435), but the Unsignpost is confident of a return laced with quality pee and other, less pungent useful contributions. The elusive Cajek, a mythical creature once thought to exist only in the surreal dreams of squirrels, has returned gloriously upon the back of a giant squirrel. So at least some part of the myth was true. Take that, science! Other returns include Dexter111344 after a brief hiatus and Gouncyclopedia!, who evaded a years-long block to announce his return in the forums (UB435 again). Perhaps the most noted of all, faithful new dog Dognewspaper returns from a one-month hiatus to appear in this story. Other users have seen a decline or all-out drop-off in their contribution level. SysRq remains on an indefinite hiatus. Gerrycheevers has seen his number of edits dwindle as of late. MrN9000 is still among the missing. Codeine is apparently gone as well, and Necropaxx will be losing his precious internet. We bid these users to hurry back, lest their userpages and works be smited with the hammer of pointless vandalism. |
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Delievered by Saberwolf116 02:05, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
[edit] User name change request
I understand that you have the power to change user names. Could you change mine to Bando26 please? I'd rather not operate under my full name anymore. Thanks. --Brandon Dilbeck 20:17, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
- Hi, please read this first, and let me know that you are sure. Thanks sannse (talk) 18:23, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
- I read it, and I'm sure. Bando26 is the username I use everywhere else, so I'm not likely to want to change it anyway. Thanks. --Brandon Dilbeck 02:38, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
- OK, that's done -- sannse (talk) 08:55, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
- OK, that's done -- sannse
- I read it, and I'm sure. Bando26 is the username I use everywhere else, so I'm not likely to want to change it anyway. Thanks. --Brandon Dilbeck 02:38, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Checky checky
Can you please check weather Meganew (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • Block (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups) is using any other aliasses or IPs? Thanks. ~ 19:37, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
- Hey Mordilly. No other aliases that I can see, just a few anon edits (which you would have seen. -- sannse (talk) 15:36, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
- I love you. No I really do. ~ 15:59, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
- Awwww... *blush* -- sannse esnnas 16:07, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
- Awwww... *blush* --
- I love you. No I really do. ~
[edit] I need information about the painting you made
What is The Persistnace of Sophia a parody of? Is this a ripoff of Salvador Dali's artwork again? 
| King Joseph® 
| Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | 
| My Brute | 07:03, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
- Dear dear, what do they teach them these days? Not how to spell "persistence", that's for sure. It's based on The Persistence of Memory, and is indeed by the moustached one. -- sannse esnnas 15:39, 11 June 2009 (UTC) (umm.. the original is by the moustached one I mean, not the photoshop... which was done by a totally un-moustached one)
[edit] Cs1987 needs help
Have you got any idea why I can't edit? I get the following message when I try to edit:
Editing from Cs1987 (your account, IP address, or IP address range) has been disabled by The Right Honourable Uberfuzzy for the following reason(s):
no reason given
This block has been set to expire: 14:07, 11 June 2009. Block ID is 2954. (The block expiry changes every time I try to edit).
None of the admins or bureaucrats are able to remove the block. Any idea what's going on? Also, I posted something about this in the help forums. 119.12.27.151 (
Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 02:54, 12 June 2009 (UTC))
- thats like all sorts of messed up. should be fixed now. now to find out why it was affecting you... --Uberfuzzy 03:44, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
- /insert obvious rant about wikia conspiracy ~ 07:48, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
- /insert grumble that I wasn't let in on this one -- sannse (talk) 08:50, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
- /insert grumble that I wasn't let in on this one -- sannse
- /insert obvious rant about wikia conspiracy ~
[edit] UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
June 11th, 2009 • Issue 51 • Also available in convenient suppository form!
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"Uncyclopedia Worst, Boys Smelly" Declares User  In a move that shocked the Uncyclopedia community, female user Kamikazewatermelon09 this week posted a topic in the lovable Pancake House of Benson. The shocking part of the incident was that an actual girl visited Uncyclopedia. Hooray! Our numerous virgin users can now cross off 'make contact with a woman (without giving a credit card number) over the internet, phone, or via smoke signal' from the list of steps towards achieving manhood. Though we can't help you with that face-to-face stuff...we hear that genre of contact is terrifying. The content of the post was too lengthy and riddled with cooties for the male, attention span deficient UnSignpost editors to actually read. Furthermore, the UnSignpost Executive Board refuses to add cootie insurance to the UnSignpost employee health plan. However, resident awesome potatochopper and known girl Sonje was recruited to read the message and react as if she had been asked a clever question by a hypothetical handsome UnSignpost reporter. From her exclusive comments, it seems that the topic poster was disappointed in the vulgarity and immaturity displayed by many of our gentlemen users. "I find the crassness rather endearing," Sonje responded, "in moderation." So, the moral of the story is: the users who really count will forgive us our occasional desire to cuss a blue streak or upload some boob-related images. So...go nuts! Cabal Criticism of the Week
 This week, lead Cabalist Mordillo blocked The Wizard Of Oz with an expiry time of Judgement Day, and did not provide a reason for the epic pwning. We here at the UnSignpost would like to call out Mordillo on this lack of explanation. Not as a courtesy to the user, which he certainly did not earn through his insertions of a weird version of a California article into several unseeming places. No, we would like to know why Mordillo did not take advantage of an opportunity that was ripe with comedic potential. Surely this poor soul's username could have resulted in a ban reason referencing shiny red shoes or flying monkeys? A statement concerning the location of the user being a place that is not Kansas? We would have settled for a measly 'looking for a brain' line. But instead, you left us hanging, Mordillo. We'd like to officially call you on it, and we take comfort in knowing that though you can ban the editors, and you can ban our freedom, you can never ban the UnSignpost. Though, on second thought, you could delete it. |
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I think I'm going crazy. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) KUN SotM UotM 14:08, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
[edit] I say, old chappess, wot wot
I can with every certainty confirm that I have never met and certainly have not asked you for any items of clothing, no matter how warm, cosy, or uncyclopedian. That goddamned Badger.
Parlay? 
19:25, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
[edit] I LOL...
...I nom. I'm simple like that. -OptyC Sucks! 
CUN19:42, 13 Jun
- Bah, that one is way to in-jokey :P but thanks for the nom! -- sannse esnnas 08:58, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
[edit] A minor inconvenience
Hi there sannse, I know you are not an admin anymore and I are experiencing some mild inconvenience in my abuse of the associated IRC channel. Specifically, when I try to be funny online the server informs me thus:
- uncyclopedia :Cannot send to channel
I believe the technical term is that my account has been de-voiced. Would you be as kind as to refer me to any one of the admins I could contact about this? Thanking you in advance, di Mario 21:13, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
- Hi, Sorry I don't know anything about this, and can't see anything on the block list that looks relevant. If you type "/msg chanserv access #uncyclopedia list" into IRC (no quotes) you'll get a list of the current ops. One of them should be able to help -- sannse esnnas 11:43, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
- Hi, Sorry I don't know anything about this, and can't see anything on the block list that looks relevant. If you type "/msg chanserv access #uncyclopedia list" into IRC (no quotes) you'll get a list of the current ops. One of them should be able to help --
[edit] Dynamic IP problem
Hello there Sannse, I just thought i'd tell you about this IP we're having a problem with, in case you might be able to use your staff powers to trace/ban him.
Anyways, over the past month, this IP has been under the impression that Roman Dog Bird is a "FAGGOT NIGGER MOTHERFUCKER", and has recently vadalized this. Is there anyway you could get rid of this guy? A few of his sockpuppets are AfricanAmerican and Da Lion King. Saberwolf116 21:56, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
- It's not that he's using a dynamic IP, he's using open proxies. So the only solution is to keep on blocking I'm afraid sannse (talk) 20:49, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Can you help me?
Dexter told me to come to you. Any time I log onto my account, or use a computer that has been logged into my account, I get a message saying
MediaWiki internal error.
Original exception: exception 'DBQueryError' with message 'A database error has occurred
Query: SELECT ad_zone,ad_pos,ad_keywords,domain,ad_server FROM `city_ads` WHERE (city_id=425 OR (city_id=0 AND ((ad_lang=(SELECT SUBSTRING(city_lang,1,2) FROM city_list WHERE city_id=425) AND ad_cat=(SELECT ad_cat FROM city_list WHERE city_id=425)) OR (ad_lang=(SELECT SUBSTRING(city_lang,1,2) FROM city_list WHERE city_id=425) AND ad_cat='') OR (ad_lang='' AND ad_cat=(SELECT ad_cat FROM city_list WHERE city_id=425)) OR (ad_lang='' AND ad_cat='')))) AND city_ads.ad_skin='monobook' ORDER BY city_id, ad_lang, ad_cat
Function: AdServer::loadAdsConfig
Error: 1146 Table 'uncyclo.city_ads' doesn't exist (10.8.2.6)
' in /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/db/Database.php:660
Stack trace:
#0 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/db/Database.php(615): Database->reportQueryError('Table 'uncyclo....', 1146, 'SELECT ad_zone...', 'AdServer::loadA...', false)
#1 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/db/Database.php(1025): Database->query('SELECT ad_zone...', 'AdServer::loadA...')
#2 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/extensions/wikia/AdServer.php(71): Database->select('city_ads', Array, '(city_id=425 OR...', 'AdServer::loadA...', Array)
#3 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/extensions/wikia/AdServer.php(22): AdServer->loadAdsConfig()
#4 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/extensions/wikia/AdServer.php(28): AdServer->__construct()
#5 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/skins/wikia/WikiaMonoBook.php(63): AdServer::getInstance()
#6 [internal function]: WikiaSkinMonoBook->addWikiaVars(Object(SkinMonoBook), Object(MonoBookTemplate))
#7 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/Hooks.php(117): call_user_func_array(Array, Array)
#8 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/SkinTemplate.php(471): wfRunHooks('SkinTemplateOut...', Array)
#9 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/OutputPage.php(980): SkinTemplate->outputPage(Object(OutputPage))
#10 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/Wiki.php(348): OutputPage->output()
#11 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/index.php(115): MediaWiki->finalCleanup(Array, Object(OutputPage))
#12 {main}
Exception caught inside exception handler: exception 'DBUnexpectedError' with message 'Error in fetchObject(): Table 'uncyclo.city_ads' doesn't exist (10.8.2.6)' in /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/db/Database.php:787
Stack trace:
#0 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/extensions/wikia/AdServer.php(73): Database->fetchObject(false)
#1 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/extensions/wikia/AdServer.php(22): AdServer->loadAdsConfig()
#2 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/extensions/wikia/AdServer.php(28): AdServer->__construct()
#3 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/skins/wikia/WikiaMonoBook.php(63): AdServer::getInstance()
#4 [internal function]: WikiaSkinMonoBook->addWikiaVars(Object(SkinMonoBook), Object(MonoBookTemplate))
#5 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/Hooks.php(117): call_user_func_array(Array, Array)
#6 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/SkinTemplate.php(471): wfRunHooks('SkinTemplateOut...', Array)
#7 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/OutputPage.php(980): SkinTemplate->outputPage(Object(OutputPage))
#8 /usr/wikia/source/releases_200906.3/includes/Exception.php(159): OutputPage->output()
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#13 {main}
This message shows up on every single Uncyclopedia page. I have no idea why it's doing this or how to fix it. Please contact me at my talk page as soon as possible. --CheddarBBQ
- o_O -- sannse esnnas 18:40, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
- o_O --
[edit] UnSignpost! June 18th/19th!
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!
June 18th, 2009 • Issue 52 • Thinly sliced news, between two slices of humor, with lettuce and hollandaise sauce
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Votes for Sandwiches Officially Opens  This week, Votes for Sandwiches was established by Uncyclopedia Internetist and Lead Executive of Sandwiches, Spang. Previously some sort of secret cabal hazing page, lead cabalists have thrown the doors of VFS open to reveal thinly sliced meats on a variety of breads. Or they would have, if the cabal existed, which it doesn't. Official Cabal Spokesman Mordillo exclusively explained the new feature best: "The cabal, as part of its never-ending efforts to assert its all-consuming control over the citizenry, has now introduced voting for sandwiches. Each editor will be required to eat the elected sandwiches for the entire following month. Members of the cabal will closely observe voter's decisions to make sure that no vile sandwiches, such as BAKED BEANS ON TOAST WITH MELTED CHEESE, will be chosen. That's just vile. Editors will not be allowed to protest over the "democratically" "chosen" "sandwich". We're not Iran." Reactions to the new voting page were mixed. Some users were excited for the opportunity to express their fondness towards various lunches, provided that those lunches are a sandwich. "I'm glad that sandwiches, a comedy staple due to their low-priced nature and assembly so simple that even a writer can construct one, are finally getting their due on Uncyclopedia," said resident criminology term Modusoperandi. Others were not so supportive of the move, and point to recent disturbing trends since the introduction of VFS, the most disturbing being the raiding of the fridge in the Uncyclopedia break room and the subsequent theft of all sandwiches. Well, maybe not all sandwiches, but one specifically marked "gerry's. do not eat." So far no group has claimed responsibility for this act of sandwich-related terrorism. I will find you, you little punk! And when I do, you're making me another sandwich! Comebacks! Only $19.95! Call Now! 
Following a month and a half hiatus, resident VFD overlord and prince of pants MrN9000 is alleged to have returned to the wiki. According to reliable sources, MrN was spotted responding to his talk page and maintaining QVFD, among various other tasks. What other things he may do remains to be seen. We do know, however, that he has been welcomed warmly by the community, with Mordillo giving him the brand new nickname "fucker" and various users bestowing an award of reliability on him. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Call Now And Get 2 for the Price Of 1! 
Following in MrN's robotically symmetrical footsteps was noted keyboard component SysRq. After many weeks of inactivity, Sys has returned to once again putter the Imperial Colonization ship around Uncyclopedia Harbor. He has described his goals as "re-assimilate as best I can" and "Go to hell, Dex". We would like to welcome both of these users back to the loving Uncyclopedia family, and urge them to GET BACK TO WORK!! Things Brewing In IRC People are yelling at each other, stalking each other, and randomly talking to one another. What I am talking about is, of course, IRC, the highly controversial melting pot of Uncyclopedia, where users of all stands, races, and levels of activity can talk about unimportant issues. It has recently come to our attention that ruthless battles were being fought on the fields of IRC. Our correspondent decided to check things out for himself. He was confronted with gay dinosaurs, Star Wars references and general dickery. Though this one time visit cannot render a clear view of the complex nature of IRC, it might give us a glimpse into the mind of the common IRCer. The dark, mysterious character of IRC remains. |
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You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. Pleb KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 19:47, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Opinion
We were talking here about possibly creating a beta wiki to see what Uncyclopedia would be like without IP edits. I was wondering if you could weigh in on how difficult it might be to make one, or whether we should do it, etc. Saberwolf116 03:49, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- I can't see how this would work. A beta would never get the same traffic as the real site, so would never be a real test. It would just be a personal mirror for three or four users. Technically, it's not difficult... but socially it would give no information to solve the argument. (An argument, I must say, that gets recycled so often that it's a sodden and unusable wad of broken down fibres) -- sannse (talk) and a bit of sannse esnnas 08:23, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- *applauds final comment* --UU - Oim frum Englund!
08:36, Jun 22
- Yeah but nah but yeah but nah but yeah. If it can't be done, let's continue to rock the glorious status quo. IronLung 08:38, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- *applauds final comment* --UU - Oim frum Englund!
[edit] Private issue
Hello, please contact me regarding a private issue (either through email, or post a method here through which I can contact you privately). GstrOSx 12:51, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- Hi, the best way to contact staff is via Special:Contact. If you put my name on it, then the mail will be assigned to me. Alternatively, you can use Special:EmailUser/Sannse which goes directly to me. But if it's a Wikia issue, then I'll likely forward it to the other address anyway, because that helps with the Community Team's organisation and record keeping... so it's probably best to send it there in the first place :) -- sannse (talk) 12:55, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Spam filter?
I tried to add something to your page at the top, and got: "Spam protection filter From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia. The page you wanted to save was blocked by the spam filter. This is probably caused by a link to a blacklisted external site. The following text is what triggered our spam filter: <big><big>(and two more bigs that I can't put in to tell you that they were there, because the spam filter'll filter 'em otherwise) Return to User:Sannse"
So, here you go:
| Featured Image: ChronChron.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia. |
Sir Modusoperandi Brute! 21:20, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- Fixed. --CharitwoTalk 21:24, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- Well then, clearly I was doing something wrong, like putting it in her talkpage which looks exactly the same as her pagepgage, or something. Still, I plan on holding a grudge against the internets. Sir Modusoperandi Brute! 21:34, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- Nah, you weren't doing anything wrong, the spam filter just changed since I put lots of bigs on my user page. Charitwo added naughty bits to compensate.
- Also, featured! Yay! (although I still say it's too in-jokey). Thanks :) -- sannse esnnas 21:40, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- The <big> tag filters is because certain people thought it was funny to replace pages with a bunch of big tags and a "naughty" or vanity word (and still do).
- The reason her user and talk page look alike is because she set it up to. She has embedded her userpage at the top of the talk and the talk at the bottom of the user. Clever 'tis.
- --CharitwoTalk 21:42, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- I'm glad that it turned out to be something. Sir Modusoperandi Brute! 23:06, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- Well then, clearly I was doing something wrong, like putting it in her talkpage which looks exactly the same as her pagepgage, or something. Still, I plan on holding a grudge against the internets. Sir Modusoperandi Brute! 21:34, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Do Wikia staff do peer reviews? I'm making an interview.
First of all, what's it like being an admin? And secondly, can you review this article please? And finally, is being an admin stressful? (I think it's a yes) | King Joseph® | Contact Goa Tse Clan Priest | Goa Tse Clan Sign Up | | My Brute | 00:43, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
- Your article will eventually get reviewed. As a rule, begging for a review doesn't help. --Mn-z 05:07, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
- Being an admin is very stressful. In fact, the only way I can cope with the stress is to do no work whatsoever. I find this reduced my stress considerably, but obviously it's important I work at it... hard though it may be at times. So I'm afraid I just can't review your article... too stressful. Sorry, and best of luck to you -- sannse esnnas 09:08, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
- Of course, if you were asking me as staff, then that's a whole different answer! Sorry, I can't do a review for you, that's down to the wiki community and not something staff would interfere with. Sorry, and best of luck to you -- sannse (talk) 09:09, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
- Of course, if you were asking me as staff, then that's a whole different answer! Sorry, I can't do a review for you, that's down to the wiki community and not something staff would interfere with. Sorry, and best of luck to you -- sannse
[edit] Do Wikia staff do beer reviews? I'm making an interview.
First of all, what's it like being an old lesbian? And secondly, can you review my pants? And finally, which female celebrity do you have the hots for? --CharitwoTalk 09:15, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
- There, there dear. Go get some sleep and it will all be better in the morning. -- sannse esnnas 14:17, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
- Does this mean you're declining the interview? --CharitwoTalk 22:16, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
- Sannse, if we scream "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BECOME AN ADMIN" in his face, do you think he'll stop? Saberwolf116 22:32, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
- Who the fuck are you and what does an admin have to do with this interview? There are already too many admins as it is. --CharitwoTalk 16:18, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
- I'm Kieth Hernandez! Kieth Hernandez. 16:21, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
- Who the fuck are you and what does an admin have to do with this interview? There are already too many admins as it is. --CharitwoTalk 16:18, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
- Sannse, if we scream "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BECOME AN ADMIN" in his face, do you think he'll stop? Saberwolf116 22:32, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
- Does this mean you're declining the interview? --CharitwoTalk 22:16, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Unsignpost! June 25th or 30th
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
June 25th, 2009 • Issue 53 • The newspaper that steals other newspapers' lunch money
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Users Campaign to Delete Vast Portions of Uncyclopedia  Several users have recently begun campaigns to rid Uncyclopedia of some of its oldest, cruftiest, stalest content, or so they would have you believe. We at the UnSignpost aren't here to report anything other than the facts, including but not limited to: opinions, speculation, and pictures of cats with funny captions. First on the chopping block was the Timeline series. This group of articles apparently chronicles the made-up version of history as recorded by people who aren't very funny. Dr. Skullthumper has taken the lead in the crusade against this unholy document, and reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users supported the good doctor, while others appreciated his sentiment but enjoyed the crisp, fresh smell of proper procedure much better. Noted deletionist Gwax made an appearance in order to streamline the effort to remove all of the unfunniness from the timeline, and he has been joined by several other users seeking to improve rather than delete the entire project. Next in line for the guillotine was Uncyclopedia's longest-running and only soap opera, The Young and the Uncyclopedians. At the head of this movement is prominent murderous amphibian Thekillerfroggy, who made such bold claims as "Vanity, sir!" and "Words words words!" As this project is not merely a page but an entire slew of pages, it was rejected by the Uncyclopedia Deletion Tribunal, but further actions may be in the works. When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!" Usefulness of IP Contributions Called Into Question...Again The question of whether or not we should allow IPs to edit our precious humor wiki has been raised yet again, this time by plucky Der Unwehr founder Guildensternenstein. UnSignpost reporters were baffled by the concept of what an IP was, until it was explained that it is some sort of automatic vandalism robot designed to troll websites, post vanity, and ensure all articles make the proper amount of references to Chuck Norris. The debate raged fiercely, with many users falling on either side of the so-called "IP line". One camp decided that the contributions from these entities did more harm than good to the community and its collection of humor. The opposing faction took up the opposite view: that IP editors were harmless and at worst an annoyance. Modusoperandi, the lead counsel for the IP defense team, made several compelling arguments, most notably the case that IPs are adorable and thus harmless. In the end, it was decided that IP editing is something we must live with, mostly because Conservapedia doesn't allow it, and we don't want to be any more like them than we already are. When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!" |
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We're not late you're just high! Orian57 Talk 
14:36 30 June 2009
[edit] MP3 player extension
Could we get one? Like... this one? It would be cool. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 22:00, 30 Jun 2009
- There is one installed on Wikia, but not fully active or working. We've generally been reluctant to add them because of copyright concerns (ha!), because we don't want to become a file repository, and because the size restrictions on uploads may affect their use anyway. But we'll dig it out, dust it off a bit, and see if a slap with a hammer will fix it. -- sannse (talk) 16:03, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Spam filter
It apparently won't allow edits that include more than three <big> tags in a row. Could we maybe get that turned off, or at least cranked up to allow a few more? 3 isn't always enough--I personally like 5 or so when I wanna say something really big. - T.L.B. 
WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 22:35, Jul 2
- <font size="40px">Like this?</font> • Spang • ☃ • talk • 01:49, 03 Jul 2009
- or <big><big><!-- --><big><big><big>Like this?</big></big></big></big></big> -- sannse (talk) 16:05, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
- or <big><big><!-- --><big><big><big>Like this?</big></big></big></big></big> -- sannse
[edit] UnSignpost: July 2nd, 2009
The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.
July 2nd, 2009 • Issue 54 • The newspaper with the name that's an anagram of "stop using n"
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The Young and The Uncyclopedians Cancelled After enjoying a long-running career and several writer changes, Uncyclopedia's fabled soap opera The Young and the Uncyclopedians was cancelled this week. And by "cancelled" we mean totally owned by Thekillerfroggy. It seems TKF finally had enough, and spent nearly an hour systematically deleting the entire series, which previously contained over 60% of all content in the UnScripts namespace. The newly freed electrons, no longer required for TYATU, can now be used for other Uncyclopedia-related tasks, such as boron smelting, and they may even be used to form a sort of crude bot that can edit The count to a million project automatically. Not content with merely obliterating the entire series, Thekillerfroggy apparently became bored halfway through his holy crusade, and decided to get creative in the deletion summaries. As can be seen in a memorial erected by what is presumed to be a jilted fan of the show, TKF nostalgized and ranted, remembered and forgot, loved and lost, all while expressing his inner thoughts through the medium of deletion summaries. An example can be seen at the very end of his effort, where Thekillerfroggy writes: "Sigh./Well here's the home stretch/It's been real/We've had some good times/some bad times/But in the end/All we are is dust in the wind/So goodnight, sweet prince/Farewell TYATU/Fin." Reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users held a candlelight vigil in userspace, where some of the episodes have been resurrected in a zombie-like form. Entertainment editor DogNewspaper (pictured) wagged his tail, perhaps expressing hope that one day a new soap opera, sitcom, or crime investigation show featuring Uncyclopedia editors would once again grace this site. We can only dream... Main Page Suffers Spasms of Dickery  If you logged onto the Main Page sometime on July 2nd between 2:00 and 3:00 GMT (and if you can't figure out what time that is where you live, then don't expect us to provide it for you, we're not a bloody watch!), you may have noticed some subtle changes. Instead of the usual Wikipedia-like format, with carefully organized features, news stories, anniversaries, and vital information, you may or may not have found...something else. You may or may not have found an intruiging offer to reffer freinds to take some sort of mp3-player related actions. You may or may not have found some sort of story with a vague theme of respecting one's elders, and everything about those elders, and we do mean everything. You may or may not have found some sort of strange mix of the two that left you with conflicting feelings. These feelings may or may not have included, but not been limited to: fear, anger, jealousy, confusion, fear again, and a vague sensation of falling. The admins responsible for this will not be named here, due to their next probable course of action in the case in which we did mention them, which would most likely be something along the lines of turning every UnSignpost issue into a Euroipod, whatever that is. The only thing we can report on is that the shenanigans ended just over an hour after they began, with the Main Page being restored to its previous false information-rich state. However, this episode shows us that it will never be safe from the hijinks of that group of admins, who, again, will not be named. |
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[edit] UnSignpost 9th July 2009
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
July 9th, 2009 • Issue 55• Help! I'm trapped in a newspaper printer!
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Survivor returns to Uncyclopedia after almost two years
In late 2007, a man by the name of Leoispotter had the idea to bring his favorite reality show to Uncyclopedia. Thus, the first season of UnSurvivor was created. After five thrilling rounds of voting, Mr. Briggs Inc. managed to win against the other finalist, Thekillerfroggy, by a mere two votes. Flash forward almost two years. Kingkitty, a competitor in the first UnSurvivor, decides it's time for another go-around, and season 2 is born. In an exclusive interview with Mr. Kitty, he had this to say: "Well, I was bored ("and crazy", says one passing by civilian) and I thought: 'perhaps the community could do something fun, and stop with all this writing bullshit.'" When later asked what he thought about this current season, he said, "It's showing to be bigger and better than last season, with more betrayals, more violence, more whining, and more betrayals. Lots of betrayals. Mostly of me." Currently, UnSurvivor Season 2 is in its final round of voting, where the voted-off members of the game get to vote on the finalist they want to win. The finalists this season are: after last seasons defeat, Thekillerfroggy, and newcomers to the show, THEDUDEMAN and An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays. Voting is set to take place over 72 hours instead of the usual 24, and the winner will be announced sometime Friday July 10th. After this, according to Mr. Kitty, there "probably" will be a season 3, and it will be bigger and better than anything ever before.
Uncyclopedians pay crass tasteless tribute to Michael Jackson  Michael Jackson, the legendary King of Pop, touched many lives, and the news of his untimely demise has left a deep void in the lives of his millions of fans and victims. Fans all over Uncyclopedia, stricken by grief, flocked by the dozens to mourn their departed hero in the only way they knew how: through the medium of humour. They ranged from perfunctory to crude to mediocre, but each expressed a deeply profound sadness that the weird plastic rapist was no more. (Yeah, "weird plastic rapist". That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.) Tributes continue to pour in despite the fact that it is no longer funny or clever. With the stage set for a long, protracted battle over his kids and estate, Uncyclopedia expects that unfunny people will continue to get mileage out of this story for many weeks to come. Uncyclopedia admins plan to send a selection of the best "tributes" to the Jackson family, along with the number of a company that recycles plastics. (That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.) Editors emerge from woodwork, contribute to UnSignpost This week, when UnSignpost Active Editor Gerrycheevers brought up the Uncyclopedia page containing the currently in-progress UnSignpost, he suffered a minor heart attack upon finding that two stories had already been added to the paper. It seems both An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and THEDUDEMAN, both newly given the title "Consulting Editor", took exception to being named "Consulting Editor" and took it upon themselves to blanket the UnSignpost with awesomeness. Unsignpost Payroll Manager DogNewspaper (pictured) bared his teeth at this development, indicating his frustration at having to re-issue new timecards to both editors. Gerrycheevers is expected to make a full recovery; flowers can be sent to the Uncyclopedia Infirmary and Shooting Range. |
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