User:Sannse

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

I HAZ A BLOG!

Halloween 2009 - The patron saint of Uncyclopedia, Oscar Wilde

This user is a Master in the Potatochoppers' Guild, and has earned the respect and admiration of all for outstanding work. Ask this user about joining! zh-P This user knows how to write "eat dog shit" in Chinese. This user is an administrator, which explains her headache. This user does not smell of almonds Eeek! This user steals userboxes from random people's user pages. This user finds the word "aardvark" intrinsically funny This user is staff, but only does any work here when terminally bored. This user is easily distracted by anything shiny. This user is a Mistress Pussy of the SISTERHOOD. Beware her wet tee.

Uncyclopedian of the Month February 2009

Scary!?

Stuff what I have done:

• Milton Keynes
• UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure - Featured.
• The British Class System - Featured.
• TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL - Featured
• Some images. my favourites are below, the rest are in my gallery.

featured	featured	featured	featured
semi featured*	semi featured*

*semi featured: used to illustrate a front page article

Contents 1 Image:'re winner! trophy.JPG 2 Ta-da! 3 Moar boobies on uncyc 4 This spam filter is greatly irrating me... 4.1 penis 5 UnSignpost 29-10-2009 6 I would have gotten that Wilde impersonation even without the caption. HONEST! 7 Name Change 8 Did you see this? 9 Possible Tech Issue 10 Can't log in to Uncyclopedia 11 I need to know! 12 Renaming of a user name..... 13 Need advice on FFS 14 חג שמח 15 Can you blame TOR for me? 16 A concerned parent 16.1 Level 3 header 17 Talk pages for talk pages 18 Merry thingy, happy impending other thingy, and small favour pls 19 UnSignpost Delivery! - December something! 20 File:Example.jpg 21 I want to change my username 22 Something something namechange 23 Something Something Something Namechange 24 Whine whine whine 25 UnSignpost January several-days-agoth 26 UnSignpost 21th January 2009 27 Child Abuse 27.1 For your convenience, short summary of the above 28 Hi Sannse 29 Hi Sannse! 30 UnSignpost 28th January 2010 31 UnSignpost 4th February 2010 32 I was wondering 33 Hey sannse.

[edit] Image:'re winner! trophy.JPG

In response to the comment you left on mah talk page, go ahead and delete it. --GAMESPOT=666 21:45, 4 April 2007 (UTC)

Done. :) -- sannse esnnas 11:51, 5 April 2007 (UTC)

User_talk:sannse/Archive cards & stuff

[edit] Ta-da!

Iz me. --207.55.41.249 20:56, October 27, 2009 (UTC)
NOW iz me. --Andorin Kato 20:58, October 27, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Moar boobies on uncyc

So, whats it goonna take to get ads like these.[1][2][3][4]

They all fit gloriously below the search bar on a wiki that shall not be named using a monobook theme.--Charitwo^Talk 02:49, October 31, 2009 (UTC)

Given some of the content on Uncyc, it would actually be surprisingly easy to get ads like that. But somehow, I think your fellow Uncyclopedians may have a different view on the desirability of such adverts -- sannse (talk) 00:37, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

I would leave forever. Pleb KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 00:55, November 1, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] This spam filter is greatly irrating me...

I'm having to say "cock" instead of "penis" in my edit summaries. I don't like that. People may think I'm referring to roosters. This will lead to confusion. Are you sure there isn't a way to remove it from Uncyclopedia? Maybe by moving our domain to something like (and this is just off the top of my head) Uncyclopedia.org or something. That'd probably work. Think about it. Or we could just be moved to fuck.wikia.com. That'd be nice. Pleb KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 22:36, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

I've removed the "penis" block. And I have to say, there aren't many jobs where that is a perfectly valid thing to say. I have an interesting life. -- sannse (talk) 23:22, November 2, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks Sannse! :) Pleb KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 00:18, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] penis

Somehow it's still blocked, as I've noticed I can't categorize images using HotCat when the category in question contains the word "penis". —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 01:34, 11 November 2009

HotCat? wassat? -- sannse (talk) 01:51, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

WP:HOTCAT should explain it. Though this link is probably more helpful. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 19:52, 12 November 2009

It looks like something is wrong with the filter. I think Uncyc used to have a separate filter, and I think that's been semi-lost. It doesn't show, but might still be active. And that's the one with "penis" in it. We are investigating -- sannse (talk) 20:51, November 13, 2009 (UTC)

I don't know if this is the right place to put this, but I need to report a vandal. She's been blocked a few times but always manages to get out of it somehow, and now she's back and blanking pages. You know what to do. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 21:01, November 13, 2009 (UTC)

Whoa! that's despicable... I'll take care of it at once. -- sannse esnnas 22:51, November 13, 2009 (UTC)

It looks like repetitive <big> tags don't trip the filter anymore either. --Mn-z 20:10, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost 29-10-2009

9001(bot)  01:42, Nov 3

[edit] I would have gotten that Wilde impersonation even without the caption. HONEST!

To be more serious, though... isn't this actually in the same category as those nekkid girlie pr0n pics the guys with their super secret girlie pages were hoarding. UnCool? O_o I just noticed it and honestly didn't realise what I reverted before there was a big pic of a hairy faced guy licking a male reproductive organ. The how and why that user removed it is not perhaps the right one, but... what's your opinion? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 17:45, 10 Nov

/me breaks into the room/ Even for the less-than-undevout Muslim, that pic would be considered as the most offending thing on earth. /me leaves/ • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 17:52, November 10, 2009 (UTC)

I've deleted the image -- sannse (talk) 22:24, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

That's all I have to say. (oh, and *hug*) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:28, 11 Nov

Um, Sannse? When you deleted that, were you aware of the current VFD vote that was leaning towards keep? And the vote before that one? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 22:29, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

This was with my staff hat on. The image was obscene, so I deleted it - it's a staff task that I've done many times in the past 4 years on Uncyclopedia. Move along, nothing to see... -- sannse (talk) 23:01, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

It was a drawing. There's far more obscene photographs still being hosted right here on this very wiki. When are you going to get around to deleting those as well? -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:24, 11 Nov

Sannse, I don't think we've talked before; I'm a new kid. Howdy. I got blocked for an hour for gloating because I had said I thought the image should be deleted because it violated Wikia policy, and apparently you agreed. I'm not gloating right now (please don't block me, even though I did deserve to be blocked the first time). But I do want to thank you for removing the image and for the work in general you do around here. It's fun getting your work featured; it's tedious trying to clean up the Uncyclopedia sewer with a mop. Thanks for cleaning up.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  19:47, November 12, 2009 (UTC)

Honey, I've been trying to think of a gentle way to say this... have you any idea how much of a suck-up you sound here? There. That was pretty gentle... considering the several more anatomical versions I considered. sannse esnnas 20:56, November 13, 2009 (UTC)

If I might add to that, for someone who has been here for two months, you sure have a lot to say about how this place is a sewer, doesn't work well, doesn't treat people right etc. How about you stick to writing and start the revolution another time? ~ 21:02, November 13, 2009 (UTC)

Aw, go easy on YdoI. He's just trying to be friendly. Like a big dog that doesn't know that slobbering all over you is inappropriate I'll stop before I make it worse. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 21:06, November 13, 2009 (UTC)

So I both sound like a suck up who tells people in authority how great they are and at the same time challenge people in authority and say I think things should be changed? Interesting. As it happens, I really am one of those people who compliments people when I think they're doing a good job (I do not give compliments I don't mean) and who tells people ways I think things could be improved. Just be glad you don't have to put up with me in real life. Happy editing!  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  04:50, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Name Change

Please change my Uncyclopedia name from Ajr to Ajraddatz, as per the IRC conversation. Thanks, (Do I even have a sig here?) Ajr 03:43, November 16, 2009 (UTC)

Have you read and understood User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b ? --Charitwo^Talk 03:46, November 16, 2009 (UTC)

Doesn't apply to matching up accounts between Uncyc and the rest of Wikia :) Done Ajraddatz -- sannse esnnas

[edit] Did you see this?

After all that look what's here User talk:Optimuschris. This is the same user who when I got all pissed because of something else apologized as if he really meant it then right away tried to start the whole problem over again. He tried to get me so mad I'd leave but it didn't work. Now he's trying things again! Dame Pleb Cpt. Miley Spears (talk) 06:39, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

Oh no, not things. I tried things once. Now I get paid to tour schools and tell kids not to try things or they'll end up like me. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 20:04, November 18, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Possible Tech Issue

It appears that User:127.0.0.1 has been banned since October 24, 2008. --Mn-z 16:54, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

yeah, it doesn't matter the way it used to :) blocking it used to affect some of our maintenance, but all's good now -- sannse (talk) 00:21, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Can't log in to Uncyclopedia

I noticed the log in screen changed very recently, maybe yesterday or the day before. I had to try logging in twice today before I could, then it suddenly logged me out. When I tried logging in again, it gave me a message saying I was now logged out. I did that about four times before I could post this message. Also another user hasn't been able to log in at all (I forgot to ask what browser they're using; I had a problem using Internet Explorer 8, but I'll try another browser and see if it does the same thing). Could you fix it or know someone who could? Thanks.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  22:51, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

I'm going to post this for Mordillo too so that whichever one of you is on first can check this out.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  22:55, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

I just tried Firefox and ran into the same problem, got suddenly logged out then had a hard time logging back in. I think there's something wrong with the new sign in screen. You may have other users who can't log in at all; I know of at least one.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  23:12, November 19, 2009 (UTC)

Have you cleared your cookies and cache? It may be something strange there... If you've done that, and still have a problem, please can you mail as many details as possible to us via Special:Contact? We'll try and hunt down the bug. Thanks -- sannse (talk) 00:24, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

Yes, cleared all. I was able to log in OK this time, but as far as I know the other user hasn't been able to log in at all. I'll see what details I can get.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  08:16, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

If I got this right, the user who can't log in gets Internet service though their school. I suspect it's a secure server, and it seems that now Uncyclopedia won't respond to most secure services. When they type in their name and password and then try to log in, nothing happens. I suggested they try it with different browsers, clearing cache, cookies, etc., and they have the same problem.

I thought maybe they could sign up for a free Internet service (which typically has very limited time online or a zillion ads), then connecting through that. The problem is they'd apparently need a separate line to do that (I may be wrong; my computer expertise is limited). They might be able to log in from a different location, but not being able to log in to Uncyclopedia at home, school or work (which is at school) really, really sucks. Any ideas? We may be losing a very productive user here.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  22:17, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

It sounds as though he needs to contact his provider (or his school's). If they are blocking the site (or aspects of it) then there is nothing I can do. At the moment, it sounds like an isolated problem with his provider. Sorry -- sannse esnnas 22:58, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, but I doubt it has anything to do with the school blocking it. The user had been able to sign in here without any problems until the first time they tried using Uncyclopedia's new sign in page. The server doesn't seem to be blocking anything else they could find, and they can read Uncyclopedia without problem, just can't sign in. I had problems signing in myself, and based on my admittedly limited watchlist, activity on this site dropped significantly right after the new sign in page went up. I suspect other users aren't able to sign in either.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  23:29, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

Hey, I don't know if this helps any but here's a bug that Wikia should address: If you click logout in the corner and then click login at the corner (apparently this bug doesn't occur if you click "login again" from the logout screen), you can log in and you will be immediately returned to Special:UserLogout, immediately logging you out. I'd try duplicating this in different browsers/environments but frankly I'm not the one getting paid to do that. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 05:41, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Syndrome, I can't reproduce that... can you tell me what browser/OS you are using, and what page you are on when you click "log in". Thanks

Why.., I'm not getting other reports, and can't reproduce... I need a lot more info. Please can you ask the person concerned to email us via Special:Contact with as much information as possible. For example, what is their OS and browser? What is their username. What exactly happens when they try to log in? Any error messages? Can they log in on other wikia sites (if they have an account), What is the full URL of the log in page they are using? Can they log in with a new account? Any information they can give may help -- ~sannse (talk) 21:34, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

I'll let them know what you're looking for. Thanks!  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  21:59, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Tried it again and couldn't reproduce it either. Nevermind, I guess. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 22:32, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

The user was finally able to log in, with the help of (quote) "a computer hacker geek." Apparently logging in whatever way it is something of a pain, but it worked.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  22:47, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

I can't think of any way that you could log in that needs a computer geek.... sounds more and more to me as though it was some sort of blocking his end. -- sannse (talk) 00:24, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] I need to know!

If I put my airplane on a treadmill and the treadmill matches the forward airspeed of the airplane exactly, will the airplane take off? Also, hi sannse. I hope you haven't been taken hostage by filthy hippies or something. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:56, 20 Nov

"Speed" is relative. If the treadmill and the airplane have the same velocity relative to the earth, then no. If the airplane's speed relative to the treadmill is the same as the treadmill's relative speed to the earth, then it's possible. How long is this treadmill, and how fast is everything going relative to everything else? Also what type of plane is this, and how experienced is the pilot? If it's a pilot who's experienced at landing on aircraft carriers, it's more likely to happen than if it's a pilot who's used to flying commercial jets and landing on big city runways.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  19:17, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

Protip: The treadmill makes no difference at all as the airplane doesn't rely on the wheels for forward momentum. Also, I was talking to sannse. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:02, 20 Nov

If a plane on a treadmill is moving at the same velocity as the treadmill's tread, then it isn't moving relative to the treadmill and won't get off the ground (unless the treadmill does). Also, I was talking to Sannse.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  22:33, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

You need to go watch some MythBusters dear. Optimuschris is right -- sannse esnnas 00:27, November 21, 2009 (UTC)

I just watched the Mythbusters on YouTube. No offense, but in that case they're talking about a plane moving against a treadmill--there's movement in opposite directions. The pilot on the program said "If I match my speed the exact same speed going forward as it's going backwards...." that he thought the plane wouldn't take off. The statement above by OptyC refers to a treadmill that matches the forward airspeed of an airplane (same velocity), not opposite to it (opposite velocity), which is a completely different scenario.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  08:31, November 22, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Renaming of a user name.....

Hi, sannse. Could you please rename the user account "RAN1" to something else. I want to register RAN1, but it says that it's been taken. I've already read User:Sannse/Name change lecture no. 3b, so I understand well what I'm asking for. I'm the same user RAN1 as here, and if you need any confirmation, you can contact me on the IRC. Thanks, 96.233.100.136 02:36, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

You understand well what you're asking for, but does anyone else? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:47, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

It looks like he's asking for another user's account to be renamed, which I do believe Sannse can't do. --Mn-z 05:07, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, it's like, "Doctor, I need a new kidney, so take one from the patient next to me and give it to me. I well understand the risks. If you need any confirmation, I'll sign any forms that you ask me to." --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:27, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

But absurdity is one thing. What I really don't get is that there's no registered user called "RAN1". Seriously, go to User:RAN1 and try to create the userpage and it will tell you that no one is registered with that name. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:29, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Ok, never mind. It says that it's an invalid user name, for whatever reason I don't understand. Now I'd like to ask why RAN1 is an invalid user name. Why is it giving me that, sannse? On a minor side note, why the curt welcoming? Wut96.233.100.136 06:43, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

You're an IP and IPs don't have feelings. You'll get a big ol' {{Welcome}} when you register, but until then, you're just something else to revert. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:46, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Really? See here. I've registered, but Uncyclopedia has yet to actually have the Wikia usernames right, you know. (This user is a rollbacker on SmashWiki, and rollbackers have feelings, last I checked) 96.233.100.136 07:00, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Sigh. Rollback's a tool, not an award. Also, this is not my talk page. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 07:37, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Sigh. Rollbacker => User ≠ IP; and I don't believe that discussions should go all over the wiki. Best to have it in one place…Anyways, I've decided not to join Uncyclopedia; I have too many other things to deal with like SmashWiki and the VSTF. 96.233.100.136 20:46, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Do you mind?... T'was a perfectly understandable request an all - as far as me and RAN1 are concerned. Consider this a spanking by Auntie Sannse for biting the newbie (and not the fun kind either.)

So, anyways, RAN1. If you still want this:

1. Create an account as RAN2 (or similar) on Uncyc.
2. Post here (logged in to the new account) to say you are RAN1.
3. Post on my Wikia talk page (logged in as RAN1) to tell me the account name you made here.
4. I can then change the name here to match your wikia one.
5.  ??
6. Profit!

Thanks -- sannse (talk) 22:38, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, you would say that it's not the fun kind. People might think you're batting for the other team. I hear from a very reliable source that they don't take too kindly to that in San Fransicso. To RAN1: when I said that isn't my talk page, I wasn't suggesting that you take the discussion to my talk page. I was just clarifying that this is indeed not my talk page even though I'm commenting excessively here on what is frankly none of my business. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 01:34, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

Wait, which team am I batting for now? Are you female, or do you think I'm male? or... wait...worse... are you accusing me of being heterosexual?? Eep!! You are right, they don't aprove of that here -- sannse esnnas 07:47, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

Say, I have a question. Suppose a gay guy won't date straight females, and a gay gal won't date straight guys. So could the gay guy date the gay gal?  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  22:05, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

No, because you wouldn't be gay if you dated people of your sex who were straight, thus, you would be heterosexual if you were dating someone who happened to be homosexual but was a different sex to your own, also, tomatoes are fruit, aerosol sprays can set off fire alarms, mellifluous means pleasant or soothing to listen to, it is impossible to lick your elbow, you should do a PEE review, and yes, I really should go to work. Any other questions? --ChiefjusticeDS 00:06, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

OK, so you got at least three people in the Wikia office to try licking their elbows.... impressive! -- sannse (talk) 01:31, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

You think Gene Simmons can't lick his own elbow? But if you want proof it's possible, this and that. I rest my case, your honor.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  02:01, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

He said it was impossible for me to lick my own elbow. I promise you, that's 100% correct. -- sannse esnnas 02:06, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Wait! no! he said it's impossible to lick my elbow. And I know that at least one person has definitely done that... so we are back to him being wrong. -- sannse esnnas 02:08, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

K, so I created the account. I'll leave a message on your talk page briefly so you can change my username. RAN2 01:06, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, and done sannse (talk) 01:31, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Could I get my account name here change to the one I have on Wikipedia? There I'm known as Jimbo Wales. Why Not Jimbo Wales 06:50, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

I'm joking, of course. :-D  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  06:52, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

Once you're done with that, could you change my name here too? On the rest of Wikia I'm known as WIKIA SUCKS. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:52, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

I'm not joking. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:55, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

Okay, I tried to make an account by the name of ArkBlitz, but it got somehow rejected. I was told to use another account (in this case my e-mail's name) and then bother you to switch it. Can you please make me the favor? -Csolisr 21:43, December 2, 2009 (UTC)

Hi, are you ArkBlitz on Wikia? If so, please can you confirm that on my Central talk page? You need to do so while logged in to the "ArkBlitz" account. thanks -- sannse (talk) 23:11, December 2, 2009 (UTC)

Done! Thank you very much for all the fish! -ArkBlitz (alias "Get off that thing already!") ~ Rants over here 03:00, December 6, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Need advice on FFS

I apologize if this is a stupid question, but I just found my name on FFS...apparently people find me abhorrent in spite of the fact that I cant remember posting in any talk page for the last year or so, but What im worried about is that there's a comment there by me, in spite of the fact that I can't remember posting anything of the sort. At the risk of sounding noobish, is it possible for someone to impersonate someone's timestamp or is it possible that someone has a hold of my account? thanks in advance.Leomann 16:34, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

There's this template called {{username}}. When used on a page, whoever is reading will see their username wherever it is used. It is hideously overused. If in doubt, edit the page, and look at the section with your "name" in it - you'll probably see the {{username}} code instead. Like this: <insert name here>. Oh, we also tend to put new talk page posts at the bottom of the page, for future reference. --UU - natter 16:46, Dec 10

I have to say, if there is someone I absolutely detest, it's <insert name here>. Which is silly, since I essentially hate me! <insert name here> 16:55, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Exactly - thanks for that pertinent illustration Mordillo. --UU - natter 17:03, Dec 10

Ah, thanks for that, what a relief! Im sorry about putting this in the wrong place, im still getting a feel for the multitude of traditions and rules that exist about actually talking and contributing. Leomann 17:07, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] חג שמח

(insert usual "I know you're not Jewish but..." message here. Have a fun holiday anyway :-) )

Thanks :) I was going to make a card in return, but... ummm... the goldfish ate my homework. So all you get is this line of thanks <3 -- sannse esnnas 22:21, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Can you blame TOR for me?

I've recently got a couple of scary error messages while updating the {{tl:featured article/queue}}. It was:

/*id=20091207220111*/ SELECT page_id,page_len,page_is_redirect FROM `page` WHERE page_namespace = '10' AND page_title = 'Featuredarticle/queue' LIMIT 1 FOR UPDATE

I've asked SPANG SUPPORT and he blames Wikia. Granted, we generally blame Wikia first and ask questions later, but this time it seems to be something from your side. Can you get TOR or one of the other Poles to take a look? ~ 10:56, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

This may be about overloading - we have safeguards to stop over-large queries from slowing the site... I suspect that Uncyc is hitting those now. But I'll check on that with the techy-guys -- sannse esnnas 20:18, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. I don't think we're dealing with large queries really, but better ask them. ~ 21:02, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] A concerned parent

Mordillo said this came from you, so I'm checking with you.

I noticed Hey people! got banned as a sockpuppet of Little Mermaid. As Little Mermaid's adopter, I'm rather puzzled. I haven't read everything they've done, but from from what I've seen such as Mermaids vs. User:Hey people!/Hey people it's The Aristocrats, their writing seems completely different. Just wondering how you determined this.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  19:53, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

Wikipedia:CheckUser explains what happened. As you can tell from that page, checkuser is something they take very seriously and only a few people may use the feature when they suspect sockpuppetry or other foul play, because it compromises a user's privacy. Whether or not there was probable cause to checkuser Hey people! is a debate for another parallel universe, but since the name came from the fairly obscure award UGotM, it was safe to assume that Hey people! was either a registered user on an IP who lurked way too much. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 20:03, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, Mordillo just told me I'm not allowed to ask questions, even if it is about my adopted noob--see here (history) and here (section).  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  20:05, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

I don't think you're being silenced so much as being told there's not much to it. But while we're on the subject of rights, sannse, can I have CIA rights? I promise I'll be good. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 20:12, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

Why... What he said was that you didn't need to ask me, it wasn't my decision. I just provide the technical information where needed.

Syndrome... sure you can. p.s. what are "CIA rights"? -- sannse esnnas 20:16, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

Really? Great. I look forward to my promotion immediately. CIA are these guys. Apparently they can't do anything except hiderevision and oversight... Or maybe that's what they want us to think. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 20:21, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

You know Why, I'm starting to feel just a bit more than irritated of your very generous interpretation of what I say and do. ~ 21:00, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

Sanse, thanks for clarifying that this was not your decision.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  00:16, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

Mordillo, if I'm misunderstanding, then please tell me where in "No, you don't need to check with sannse. I've asked her to perform the check, she confirmed it, I made the decision. That's it." it encourages me to continue asking questions and checking things out? To me, "I made the decision. That's it" is the equivalent to "case closed," which means no further questioning is allowed. I'm sorry I've irritated you, but I am legitimately trying to help this site because I like it. You may remember a previous conversation where I said I knew a very productive user at another wiki who was banned indefinitely because of an error. I am the adopter of one of the users involved, a user who came here apparently knowing very little about how wikis work. I don't want to see this site lose a promising noob because of a misunderstanding, especially when a more experienced user is trying to help and not being allowed to do so. Also if you recall, I did help resolve a conflict shortly after I came here. If I'm misunderstanding your statement, please explain it to me. Thank you.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  00:13, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Level 3 header

Sannse, why not give checkuser rights to crats? I respect user privacy and don't want more checkusers than necessary, but if you're going to check without verifying, why not skip the middleman? Not that I'm accusing you of anything, but I'd also feel better in general if more than one person could view checkuser logs. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 02:07, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

"if you're going to check without verifying", "Not that I'm accusing you of anything".

That sorta sums it up really. -- sannse (talk) 22:23, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

You did say "you didn't need to ask me, it wasn't my decision. I just provide the technical information where needed." You were wearing a different hat but I still take it to mean you took Mordillo's word for it that the check was necessary. So if you want to be pedantic, I guess I'm accusing you of using checkuser on demand (you said that, unless I'm misinterpreting you?) but I'm not accusing you of abusing checkuser. I just think it would be good as a matter of principle if more than one person could see the logs. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 22:30, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Of course I don't do checks blindly and without being given a good reason by the requester. Mordillo asked for a check, told me why, I did the check and gave him the info, he decided what to do about it. I am not the right person to ask about this ban, because that wasn't my decision.

As for the rest, yes... more than one person can see the logs. I think this argument has run its course now. -- sannse (talk) 23:56, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

No, you're a meanie-face. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 00:15, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Talk pages for talk pages

don't work anymore apparently. --Mn-z 19:20, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

you mean they did? weird -- sannse (talk) 23:59, December 14, 2009 (UTC)

Is there a reason they can't be made to work again? --Mn-z 06:05, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

Because talk pages should not have talk pages. I understand that they caused some problem with MediaWiki and they were probably removed as a bug fix. But either way, I would suggest just not making talk pages of talk pages -- sannse (talk) 23:45, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

How hard would they be to re-implement? I think the consensus here is in favor or recursive talk pages.

And on a semi-related note, would there be a way to change file page protection so that the image itself is protected, but the image categories and the like can be changed? I have ran into the issue quite often when image categorization, and that issue would also come up on the other wikis. --Mn-z 05:46, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

I'm sorry, we don't currently have the time or resources to do Uncyclopedia-specific work -- sannse (talk) 23:02, December 18, 2009 (UTC)

Does that mean there are times when you do have the time and resources to do uncyclopedia-specific work? --Mn-z 05:55, December 19, 2009 (UTC)

There have been... and may be in the future, depending on what that work is. -- sannse (talk) 21:15, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] Merry thingy, happy impending other thingy, and small favour pls

Yeah, hi Sannse, long time no wotsit. Hope things are good and the like, and that you had a good festive doobrie, and have a good New Year doobrie impending. By the by, any chance of checkusers on User:BHMMF and User:JasonDude against, say, User:Tinkywinkyisgay? --UU - natter 08:12, Dec 28

Tinkywinkyisgay is too old for results. The other two don't share any IPs, although they may or may not be using proxies. So inconclusive. Happy an all that back to you - sannse (talk) 15:23, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

If I may butt in, the issue is just finding socks of Bambifan101, an annoying 15-year-old who keeps coming back to Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia to spill his creative seed on articles about children's shows he's far too old to watch. The more I think about it, the more I think BHMMF isn't a sock because he doesn't make the same obsessive and pointless edits that BF101 does (there's just this one edit that makes me suspicious), but a more recent confirmed sock that you could check JasonDude against is Crapcrapcrap. According to his LTA page on Wikipedia, his edits are going to be from Mobile, Alabama. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 20:13, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost Delivery! - December something!

Late deliver courtesy of Pleb KUN Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 23:51, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

[edit] File:Example.jpg

Hi Sannse.

I recently cleaned up a backlog of links from File:Example.jpg and I was wondering if it would be possible to block the actual filename from being added to articles? This has apparently been a long-running problem and its frequently inserted into articles, either by vandals or inexperienced editors, via the toolbar's "embedded file" feature. MadMax 05:16, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

I would be against adding stuff to a blacklist: if by blacklist, you mean spamfilter, because spamfilter tripping is potentially more annoying than clutter. I.e. one must correct all spamfilter-tripping code in order to save a page. Ideally, I would suggest something that would "hide" the link to the file so the red link doesn't appear. Failing that, I would suggest a text based image with something allong the lines of "please insert a correct image name" or something. --Mn-z 05:31, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

Sounds like a custom js job to me... ask Spang -- sannse esnnas 19:02, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

[edit] I want to change my username

And yes, I've read the guide, I know that it can only be done once, and I realise that it may implode the universe. Now, can I change my name to an already existing name? I want to change it to Fred, as it's my real life nickname and all, and I don't like the name Mahm00shA anymore. So, is it possible?    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 06:37 • Sunday, 3-01-2010

Special:Contributions/Fred has contributions but is nearly 5 years inactive. Perhaps it can be usurped? --Charitwo^Talk 06:40, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

Umm.. How about Fredd?    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 06:49 • Sunday, 3-01-2010

Available, but you should see what sannse says about "Fred" first. --Charitwo^Talk 06:50, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

I like Fredd more.    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 06:52 • Sunday, 3-01-2010

Sannse? Where are you?    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 15:49 • Sunday, 3-01-2010

Don't let him Sannse! MahmOOshA who is not a MahmOOshA is not really a MahmOOshA! ~ 15:53, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

Seriously? You don't want me to change it?    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 16:44 • Sunday, 3-01-2010

Well, it's just me yes? You do whatever you'd like. But MahmOOshA has been your name around here for a while now, and Fred? Seriously, it's so ordinary ;) ~ 17:11, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

I know it's ordinary. The point is, I feel embarassed showing my uncyclopedia account to my friends with that stupid name I've got. Fredd is cool I guess. Also, no it's not "it's just me yes?" your opinion matters. Seriously, if you don't want me to change it OR you have another name in mind, say it :)    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 17:36 • Sunday, 3-01-2010

'Fred' is a no, sorry. I can do any unused name, if you are certain (I like Mahm00shA too, fwiw). Have you read my name change lecture? -- sannse (talk) 19:08, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Also, sorry for the delay, I've been doing all that crazy being off work stuff - sannse (talk) 19:08, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

No problem, miss :) I'll just think about it one last time and give you the verdict shortly (in half an hour or something)    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 19:21 • Thursday, 7-01-2010

Well it's either Fredd or Mahmauscher (a refined version of mahm00shA).. I like Fredd more, but seeing that you guys seem to like the sound of the name Mahm00shA, I'll just go with both. Let it be Fredd The Mahmauscher    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 19:33 • Thursday, 7-01-2010

done! -- sannse (talk) 02:09, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

My old password isn't working 94.246.126.229 08:25, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

My bad, all is fine now :)    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 08:34 • Friday, 8-01-2010 08:34, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

[edit] Something something namechange

Hey, yeah, per irc ("i'm sort of fed up of people being idiots with my username, plus Faggle is a cuter name :P"), it would be really awesome and I would be super grateful if my username were changed to Faggle as opposed to Fag. Anything else I need to do to prove it's me? :P —talk 19:41, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Wow, I've just set a trend :)    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 19:44 • Thursday, 7-01-2010

Haha it wasn't intentionally following you, I was just made to realise it's a better name and stuff, for the reasons above :P hope it isn't a trend, must be sorta heavy on the servers —talk 19:51, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I was just kidding, man, and by the way, faggle is a really cute name ;) Also, you're right, changing two usernames at the same time is gonna fuck the servers right up :)    Fredd The Mahmauscher   • 22:32 • Thursday, 7-01-2010

And done! (all's good with the servers :) -- sannse (talk) 02:09, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

[edit] Something Something Something Namechange

A little bird told me, before crapping on my shoulder, that you are the guy to go to if you want your name changed. I'd very much like it if you could shorten my name down to "Matfen", as that is how many seem to refer to me on here, almost no-one uses numbers in their name on Uncyc, and I have forgotten what the numbers were in reference to. Thanks. Sorry if I am perpetuating a trend btw. --Matfen 16:18, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

The usual question... have you read my name change lecture? -- sannse (talk) 17:55, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Twice now. Am also twice as sure now. --Matfen 18:42, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Heed to the wise man's word, sister, for he knoweth the unknown. • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 19:26 • Friday, 15-01-2010

Well, I know how to complete a Rubik's cube, so I guess that's something. --Matfen 20:00, January 18, 2010 (UTC)

Done, sorry for the delay (what the hell happened to my talk page while I was elsewhere??) -- sannse (talk) 02:36, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

[edit] Whine whine whine

What's the deal with all the spambots? I've seen more "mejores paginas del mundo" than I care to count, which isn't a lot as I'm rather lazy. Maybe it's time to, dare I speak it, add an extra letter to the captchas? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 07:01, January 18, 2010 (UTC)

Remember all the whinging about the spam blacklist? And how I got the local one activated and the global one turned off for here? That means it's all officially your problem. Yay! -- sannse esnnas 02:38, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

I thought the spam blacklist was just stopping us from putting penises in edit summaries. But if you say so. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 21:09, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

Special:SpamRegex allows you to block any text from edit summaries or article content. The point is that Uncyc is no longer protected by the global version (because of the whole penis thing). So if you get loads of spammers adding repetitive text, it's because you haven't put the right terms in the local version. Ya see? -- sannse (talk) 23:16, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Cool. I'm off to pester Mordillo or Spang about it, then. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:40, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

Hello there, I've been pestered by the above pesterer (pestree?) but the special:SpamRegex is limited to Staff and VSTF members. Can you sort that out so I can update it? Thanks. ~ 09:44, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

I think it's you and I that are the pesterees, and he's the pesterer. Although you are possibly both, so that's extra clever. I've passed on the pestering to Uberfuzzy now, and asked him to tweak the access levels -- sannse esnnas 00:06, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

So the multiple version would be - pestereers?! ~ 11:19, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

This is possible. Or I may just have switched off totally with an e overdoes.

So, the access issue should now be fixed. Anyone who wants a hand in using this, let me know or catch me on IRC. The only other issue now is that all admins have the ability to block the word "the" from being used in any article. As far as I'm concerned, this is officially Somebody Else's Problem. Yay!

Also, with my admin hat on, I'm now off to block all edit summaries containing more than one A in a row \o/ - sannse (talk) 19:25, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Lo again! This works perfectly, but who can I ask regarding some more advanced syntax (such as using wildcards etc)? ~ 11:04, February 5, 2010 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost January several-days-ago^th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!

Jan 14th, 2010 • Issue71 • Keeping You Guessing

Uncyclopedia Voting Season Arrives, Users Driven To Voting Frenzy By UU 'Tis the season to abstain with extreme prejudice! Yes, every anal-retentive voting obsessive's favourite time of the year has arrived: January marks the point of the year when the awards for the best things of the previous year are voted on! If that's not an oxymoron on a site that is acknowledged to be the worst, of course. This poll-packed month sees WotY, UotY and PotY join (deep breath) WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP as forums for people to air their opinions, prejudices, minor rivalries and petty jealousies. And as if this wasn't enough voting-related thrills 'n' spills, when the Top 10 articles of December 2009 have been decided, there'll be the Top 10 articles of 2009 proper to vote for! UnSignpost's fearless reporter and mascot DogNewspaper (pictured) predicts a bumper month for whoring, in-fighting, backstabbing and bitching as users scramble to secure themselves a fleeting moment's recognition from up to several of their peers. Followed by next to no voting in February, as everyone recovers. From the desk of the Cabal: 2010 ordered to be Drama free By The Cabal As Uncyclopedia drunkenly stumbles into the new decade, barely managing to hold down that spicy dinner it had for lunch, the non-existent cabal would like to wish all residents a happy new year. And by wish we mean order, residents would be subjects and by happy new year we mean fuck you all where communism hasn't failed yet. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we saw it all in 2009. We saw dozens of forums declaring that we're the worst (which we know), we saw numerous editors leave the front door open on the way out (come on people! it's bloody -7 outside!), we saw epic banninations (the simple joys of life), we saw prolific gay bashing (ideologically pure of course), we saw religious wars over sausages, we saw the worst 100 reflections of 2009 barely close before the midnight of December 31st. You promised in 2008 you wouldn't do that. You failed us. And so, ladies and gentlemen, we raise our collective arses from the toilet which was 2009, wiping it with the first anniversary edition of the UnSignpost, as this is the only good thing that ever came out of this rag of a newspaper. We would like to ask humbly that the population of Uncyclopedia do the following: Please, for the love of Sophia, remain calm; exit the building in an orderly fashion; remember that objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are; understand that allergen traces may be found in this Uncyclopedia. And always remember the prime directive: you are here to have fun. Or in short - shut the fuck up and go write an article. Thank you for your undivided attention citizens. You may now remove your muzzles.

Check out these pages! Now you have no excuse Pretend people care what you like It makes as much sense as Scientology, I suppose From our logs: 09:22, 12 January 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 64.40.243.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ ("raccist"? what's that, prejudiced against raccoons?) 03:33, 12 January 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.101.196.155 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (lol i'm astral projecting an image of two gay guys having sex into your mind or something) 19:06, 6 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 216.64.230.79 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Nigger to you too, sir.) 19:05, 5 January 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked JeChr (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Jesus is dead. He's not coming back.) 23:05, 3 January 2010 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.217.57.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.) Biopic of the Week Prowling the corridors of pee review with a light step but a heavy hand, ChiefjusticeDS is Uncyc's reigning king of the golden river. He's reviewed more articles than most Uncyclopedians have read. In their entire lives. And he keeps a benevolent eye on everyone else, making sure there's no stale pee in the pond. If you've had a good review in the last year or so, he probably had a hand in that somewhere. Doff your cap and move on. Old-School Featured Article of the Week HowTo:Run away from home is a guide to every early teenager's ultimate weapon in the never-ending battle with the forces of evil as represented by their parents. Written by Alksub - who most of our readership won't remember - this is exactly what to do next time your parents don't let you stay out late to meet that nice-sounding kid you met over MSN who seemed very keen to hook up and get to know you better! Trend of the Year (so far) Username changing. Username a little short? Lengthen it for no good reason! All the cool kids are doing it, apparently.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter 09:44, Jan 18

[edit] UnSignpost 21th January 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!

Jan 21st, 2010 • Issue 72 • Yorkshire-style news

Awards of the Year race thrillingly poised By UU Yes folks, as the first month of this new decade lurches slowly and falteringly towards conclusion, the ... of the Year awards showdown is accelerating towards a thrilling climax! Your ever-topical UnSignpost mascot DogNewspaper therefore brings you this essential and timely guide to the runners and riders!. In the most prestigious award of the lot, Writer of the Year, the race for second place behind prolific funny factory and champion-elect Hype is neck and neck between apparently-no-longer-hirsute TKF fan-club president and feature-machine Guildy and low-profile but high-quality-output, er, feature-machine Sog1970. But wait! There's still a chance they could get caught by the chasing pack of little-known and modest Scouser Mhaille, hetero macho-man Orian57, antipodean canine PuppyOnTheRadio and none-more-metal mosher Monika. Oh, and some other chancers have been nommed without polling a single vote (including DrStrange, who is currently looking likely to become the first Uncyclopedian ever to win WotM twice, but hasn't carried that form over to WotY - odd). Meanwhile, over at PotY, the race for second place behind Sonje is even closer, with both Modus and some n00b polling a creditable one nom but no votes each! Who will pull ahead by the end of the month? It's a competition you just can't keep your eyes off! Disappointingly, the UotY vote lets the side down, with seemingly a boring old race for first place between Belgian one-man categorisation whirlwind, maintenance addict, broken thing fixer, BUTT POOP!!! junkie and footwear-as-handwear exponent Socky and handsome English admin who wrote this article and is not in the least bit biased UU. The apparent scramble to be runner-up to whichever of these two is runner-up is far more interesting, as non-stop wikifixer MadMax goes up against Welsh Rarebit RabbiTechno, not-Yorkshire-enough admin Mordillo, vowel-free-zone Mnbvcxz and Moterfucking Nigger Lover Roman Dog Bird. Damned with the faint praise of a nom with no votes in this category are the pants bomber, talk page king FU Spang, human non-sequitur generator Modus and absent but deadly hockey nut Gerry. And finally, over where it's really at, the NotD cockfight is almost impossible to call! Will plucky outsider RC hold off the challenge of Apple, Apples and Maddie's life? The tension is quite literally unbearable! But remember kids: whoever "wins", we're all still losers. And now, your not-at-all-struggling-for-material Signpost brings you... Horoscopes! By GlobalTourniquet Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - This week, you have a dream, that one day you will be judged not by the color of your skin but by Simon Cowell. Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - If Martin Luther King had believed them when they told him "Silence is golden", he never would have accomplished his great work in the cause of civil rights. You, on the other hand, are just a mouthy bitch. Silence is golden. For the rest of this week's horoscopes in full, see the horoscopes page, obviously.

Check out these pages! Narcissism? On the intertubes? Serious businesszzzzszszz - sorry, nodded off there Breaking News: We're The Worst! From our logs: 06:45, 20 January 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked I LIKE PIE!!! (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 48 hours ‎ (This is your local formatting nazi-admin reminding you to stop undoing people's formatting fixes. Learn to wiki, pl0x. And don't harrass people trying to help.) 01:04, 18 January 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.61.194.228 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (suspected homophobe. might hate gays. or he's just a faggot.) 12:33, 18 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 196.12.233.26 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (And the Lord said unto me, "Cursed are the page blankers, for they are the least of my creations; take up thy banhammer and smite them") Biopic of the Week Conscientious vote-machine Romartus has been around longer than you might think - kick-starting his Uncyc career with a series of DYK suggestions, before hitting his stride. Known as one of the more "demanding" voters on VFH, Romartus has also been diligently saving some of the less-deserving articles on VFD. He also breeds tropical ferrets. One of the previous statements is a lie, introduced by the biographer in lieu of a joke. Use your skill and judgement to work out which one! Old-School Featured Article of the Week Really Big Tree is an article about a really big tree. This tree is of such an immense size, it is scarcely credible. Few trees deserve their own Uncyclopedia article, but the Really Big Tree deserves its own wiki. You may think you have encountered trees of impressive size before, but you haven't seen a tree at all until you've experienced the Really Big Tree! Cajek UnBlock of the week! MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) resurrected Cajek (Talk | contribs) (blocking Cajek is Sooooo old school. Unblocking Cajek is the new, new school. Not that I went to school. Obviously.) The (probably short-lived) return of UU's Obscure British Dialect Expression of the Week Were you to find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, you may happen upon a local. Were that local to then say to you "dew yew keep a troshin'", you may find yourself somewhat at a loss for a reasonable response - well, no more! Yes, your ever-useful UnSignpost is here to furnish you with a translation, which is: "take care of yourself". (It comes from "carry on with the threshing", if that helps, although we can't see how it would). So now if you find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, the only thing you have to worry about is getting out of there. Fast!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot)  17:38, Jan 21

[edit] Child Abuse

I'm concerned about the photo used in context with the article here. There are media guidelines and legal protection against the real-life underage victims of sexual abuse being identified; I wonder if making a claim, even as a joke, that a child, especially a non-celebrity, featured in a photo was sexually abused is legal. Even if it's not criminally illegal, it could possibly be grounds for a lawsuit. Even beyond that, I have to ask--how would the parents feel? Thanks for looking into this.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  22:28, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

A concerned editor (not me) changed the pic of the girl from a real-life photo to an anime image. As long as it stays that way, I think the problem's been solved. Thanks for listening!  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  22:57, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

Hi guys and Sannse.  :-) Yea, um... Pictures of children on Uncyc is fine. Pictures of children in an article about paedophiles is very dodgy... That picture with that caption... No. Not a chance. That new image is much better. Hopefully next time Why do I need to provide this? you will talk to me or another sysop before you go bothering Sannse. It makes you look like like... ... Anyway, let's keep that new image, and nothing else needs to be done. MrN  23:20, Jan 21

MrN9000, I'd be happy talking to you. But when a similar issue came up before, I tried talking about it with an admin, and got chewed out for doing so. The next time I tried dealing with an issue without going to an admin, and it became a fire fest on Unc, IRC, etc., and I was told I should have talked to an admin or Sannse. The next time I approached an admin about a similiar issue, I got threatened with getting blocked (and later was blocked for talking to a non-admin about avoiding a future problem). I got told in the future to talk to Sannse about such a problem before it became a big issue, so that's what I did this time. Now you suggest I don't. I'll tell you, it's trying to follow everybody's advice that's made me the *%*(%#! I am. :-)  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  23:38, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry I have no idea what you are talking about, and I have no intention of dragging up old ground. I think this issue is resolved now. MrN  23:52, Jan 21

I don't want to dig it up either. It's just been frustrating that often when I try to help, I get in trouble. But you've been very helpful, even if you did say I "look like like... ..."  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  23:57, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

He refers to [5] primarily which was the latest in several occasions. Let's put things straight here yes? You were never told not to talk to admins and talk to sannse when you have a problem. You were told, by me, to stop lecturing and start talking. Perhaps it is just your style of conversing, which is fine, but you can imagine it can be annoying to be lectured on a weekly basis from someone who claims one day that he is a noob (and acts like one) and then another day claims to be a 10 year wiki veteran, and switches between those capes whenever that suits him. I've also mentioned that you are always welcome to talk with me whenever you need when you have a problem concerning yourself, rather than playing the caped crusader. Other than that, there are numerous admins here you can always talk with if you don't want to talk with me, for obvious reasons. So, to summarize, no one ever told you not to talk with admins and no one told you to talk with sannse, as staff, by default. If you want to talk to her as one of the admins, that's your own choice. I hope everything is crystal clear now. ~ 08:35, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Your position seems pretty clear to me, but I've seen a great deal of inconsistency on this site, which happens when you have several people together with no one in total control. I don't intend to defend myself as I don't believe that will help, other than to say I was honestly concerned and trying not to piss anyone off--obviously, at that I failed. As for the noob vs. 10 years experienced, my intent was to say I do have significant experience with wikis while at the same time admitting I'm new here and am just learning the ropes--every wiki is different. Obviously, that didn't work very well either, so I've dropped that (except that I do mention it on my user page, but have stopped doing it in posts). As for "playing the caped crusader," I'm trying to moderate that here and keep it in line, but frankly, that's me. If you think I've gotten myself in trouble here playing Batman, you should see the trouble I've gotten into in real life.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  22:01, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Man have I been there. You know that when you stop a bullet with a silver tray under your shirt you still get these giant bruises? It really fucking hurts! - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 05:37, Jan 23

I know what you're talking about. I got one of those bruises a couple months ago and it took six weeks to heal. It hurt everytime I reached to answer the bat phone. I need to get rid of my thin 60s TV Batman costume and get one of those armoured ones they wear in the movies.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  05:52, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

I wouldn't ask Christian Bale if you can borrow his. He'd probably grab that silver tea tray and smack you round the face with it. --Matfen 12:35, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

Christian Bale? I'm not afraid of no Christian Bale, Ha ha! Uh, wait. He's not really here, is he? (Looks for a place to hide).  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  19:40, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

He just smacked me round the face with a silver tea tray for this page having too many indents. For being Batman, there's surprisingly still a lot he needs to learn about proper justice. --Matfen 20:19, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

[edit] For your convenience, short summary of the above

Problem solved. I'm Batman.  IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  20:04, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

OK, that's good then -- sannse esnnas 21:29, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

[edit] Hi Sannse

Could you let me know if there is any link between the following users MrCleveland (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • Block (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups • Checkuser), Mr Alex (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • Block (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups • Checkuser), Steventhemario (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • Block (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups • Checkuser), 68.42.246.27‎ (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • Block (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups • Checkuser) and 68.215.134.107 (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • Block (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups • Checkuser). If this is the user I think it is, they are using open proxy. Sorry, I know that's a lot. Thanks. MrN  19:38, Jan 24

Hi, the only connection is very vague (a range match between two of the above, no direct match). None of the logged in users seem to be usingt proxies here either. So nothing I can say about any of them via checkuser. Please ping me on IRC or via mail if you need more specifics (but, not much to say anyway) -- sannse (talk) 21:29, January 26, 2010 (UTC)

Many thanks. MrN  22:22, Jan 26

I looked at the contribs of the registered users, and Mr Alex and Cleveland have both re-appeared just when Steven was making sockpuppets (Checked the block logs) and they both seem very interested in his favorite pages. HELPME 22:05, January 26, 2010 (UTC)HELPME

Your own business, you should mind it. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:08, 26 Jan

=( I really hate it when people say that... =/HELPME 23:22, January 26, 2010 (UTC)HELPME

[edit] Hi Sannse!

I have nothing to complain about nor do I have any work for you to do. I just wanted to say hi! -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:09, 26 Jan

Well hi there young fella! Do you like aeroplanes? -- sannse esnnas 23:00, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

I sure do! -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:12, 27 Jan

then tell the world. This is important. sannse esnnas 23:19, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost 28th January 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Free Newspaper Only Two People Started Out Editing, But Now They Want Nothing To Do With!

Jan 28th • Issue 73 • A Periodical. Period.

Continuing Absence Of Certain Users Forces Other Users To Do Things By UU It has come to the notice of our fearless journalists that some users have recently been desperately attempting to fill the gaping void left by the absence of some other users. For instance, in the absence of part-time dinosaur and popular keyboard feature SysRq, Why do I need to provide this? has stepped bravely into the Colonization brief (and has not, for instance, been forcefully volunteered for the task by MrN), dedicating himself to bringing colons where there are none (such is our understanding). Also bravely stepping into the "ban magnet" position created by the continuing and lamented absence of hyperactive loon Cajek is, well, a plethora of users. Admins, deprived of their favourite joke-ban target, have taken to joke banning anyone in an attempt to get their fix. Even those devoted to doing only good, just and true works have recently been targeted; and as if to prove this very statement, some power-crazed asshole went and joke banned Socky, RabbiTechno and Optimuschris as soon as he'd written this sentence. Elsewhere, ChiefjusticeDS has been filling the gap left by the absence of someone's enthusiasm for anything pee-related right at the moment by looking after the pee list, taking over as the person with the most in-depth reviews, reviewing everyone else's reviews, and generally not being lazy about it all. At the same time, the continuing absence of the yellow and black sig of Gerrycheevers has forced grumbling British curmudgeon UU to return to the Wiki's only newspaper, the UnSignpost, churning out issues that are, let's be honest, mere placeholders until Gerry gets his arse back here and writes something worth reading. YOU HEAR ME GERRY? GET THE FUCK BACK HERE NOW DAMMIT! Rumours that, in the relative absence of Orian57, Roman Dog Bird will take over the position of "token gay" are unconfirmed at the time of going to press. And finally, in the absence of enough content to make this issue balance out nicely, the UnSignpost is once again resorting to using blatant filler for the first time this year. Shameless, that's what it is. Complain to someone - it's the only way they'll learn.

Check out these pages! This seems to mean something to some people Bonzer Bruce, throw another stereotype on the barbie! Like. Comment. From our logs: 20:30, 26 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.223.27.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (No-one talks that way about my favourite Jew. Learn some manners or GTFO.) 00:48, 26 January 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Why do I need to provide this? (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes ‎ (Sometimes I feel, like I've been TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEDDD to the Whipping Post!!!!) 18:19, 24 January 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.42.246.27 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Toll. Idiot. Whatever. Banned, UnBanned, Banned, Banned. BYE. Try IRC next time. The guys in there will enjoy it.) Biopic of the Week Users today, they barely know they're born. The problem? Too little exposure to Flammable. The permanent curator of the Principal's office rarely deigns to grace us mortals with his presence these days, but the very sight of his rainbow-strewn sig used to inspire fear, dread, terror and, for some reason, carol singing. "While shepherds fed their flocks thermite..." Old-School Featured Article of the Week This one's for you, Guildy: HowTo:Be pretentious. Don your black polo-neck, cock a snook at the hoi polloi, and sit back, secure in your superiority, thanks to this indispensable guide! Cursory Mention of the Week CheddarBBQ wanted to be mentioned in this week's Signpost. So he is.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  14:57, Jan 28

[edit] UnSignpost 4th February 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

Feb 4th, 2010 • Issue 74 • Ain't It Uncool? News!

Spang Archives Talkpage; End of World Expected Imminently By UU Renowned Wikia fan, code monkey and sexy admin Spang has performed what many users believe to be the clearest sign to date of impending apocalypse: he's archived his talk page. After almost 2 years of torturing the Wiki's servers, and having amassed a fairly impressive 410,844 bytes of content, Spang finally decided to give people the chance to talk to him without waiting for half an hour for his page to load. When asked for his reasoning behind this unprecedented move, the muddy funster quipped "no comment". Faced with such dazzling repartee, this reporter has no choice but to cut to the next story and hope he has some better quotes to pad it out with. Award Winners Speak Exclusively to UnSignpost By Someone who definitely isn't running out of ideas already this year Well, there you go folks, looks like the "... of the Year" award voting is done and dusted for another year. Thanks to all who voted; without you, the admins would probably have less to do, which would obviously be dangerous. Anyway, that aside, your ever-topical Unsignpost went and mugged the various winners for comments on their various wins. Several of them, of course, have already made their feelings clear to those who voted for them by way of the traditional thanks templates. Apart from UU, because he's a lazy ass. Or because he's busy writing this. Whichever. Anyway again, for the benefit of those who didn't vote for the winners, and don't watch their talk pages, here's what they had to say: Runaway WotY Hype said: "Thanks, you guys!! If you'll permit me to be dead serious for the first time ever on the wiki, this really is an honor, and it's pretty damn touching that so many people came out in support of my work. Whew. Being serious felt weird. I feel... strange. BALLS BALLS PENIS COCK. Ah... there's the stuff!" He then went off to write another My Sojourn spin-off. Even more runaway PotY Sonje said: "Thank you, I intend to return as soon as I can. I am currently in Africa with very limited internet access. I'll try to time my return to co-incide with the Oscars so that I can get some pointers for my acceptance speech." Admittedly, that was before we asked her for a comment, but then, she is in Africa with limited internet access. Joint UotY Socky channeled Churchill to say: "*scrapes throat* Ahem! I would like to say to the community as I would say to anyone who joined this website: Uncyclopedia has nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory. Victory at all costs — Victory in spite of all error — Victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival. … That seems to be the wrong Churchill speech. Okay, I'll give it another try. *scrapes throat again* The gratitude of every home throughout the world, except in the abodes of the guilty, goes out to the British airmen and Belgian spies who, undaunted by odds, unwearied in their constant challenge and mortal danger, are turning the tide of the Wiki War by their prowess and by their devotion. Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to two people. And so on and so on… Woot! Woot!" Long-winded bugger. And other joint UotY UU said: "wow, Socky's already left me needing a lot of filler for the right panel, so I'll keep this shortish. First, it's good to see someone who isn't an admin get their hands on this award, and Socky's hard work deserves recognition. Second, it's great to have my complete lack of a life recognised in this way. Third, did someone say Spang's archived his talk page? What the fuck's that all about?." Oh, and Dr. Skullthumper was UGotY, but that was a foregone conclusion anyway. He didn't seem to have any comment of his own to make, so TKF hopped in to the breach with "I call the award a "fascist disgrace" and "move to permanently disbar Mike Socia, that ape from Lighting who made my mole visible to all of the goddamn world watching the ceremony."" Which about wraps it all up, I hope.

Check out these pages! No really, it's archived and everything! There are moar quesitons than answers Not sure what the point is, but it's not made with a certain style A question we have all asked, so many times From our logs: 13:56, 2 February 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 161.12.7.4 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Excess stupid detected. Take it to Niggermania, VNN or one of the many charming forums for racist lunatics like yourself out there.) 11:15, 1 February 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.49.98.244 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (ITALY does not rule and has not ruled for quite some time now actually. Blame the Christians if I were you...) 19:46, 29 January 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.11.81.96 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Improve your manners, cunt) 09:51, 29 January 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.167.51.90 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (UN:VAIN. have a quick read of it, and see why we're not interested in you. although you could probably just look in a mirror and figure that out...) Biopic Legend of the Week MadMax. Forty two thousand edits. Countless other contributions that can never be measured by simple Wiki stats software. No drama. Ever. Probably the single greatest force for good on this miserable little wiki. And it took us until issue 74 to profile him. The UnSignpost sucks; Max certainly doesn't. Old School Featured Article of the Week The 1x1x1 Rubik's Cube is by far "The Most Difficult Puzzle Of All Time™". Many have scrambled, twisted and turned this mythical puzzle, but few have solved it. By the end of this article, YOU TOO will be able to solve this puzzle. Unfortunately... you may encounter some problems on the way though... such as, twisting the cube the wrong way when speedsolving. The Desperate Return of Cajek Ban of the Week! (Block log); 10:20 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10000 years ("And he shall scourage the Earth for 9999 years. And then one more" Book of Mordillo, chapter 1 verse plox. ) Horoscope of the Week Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 22) - So, yeah, it's the start of Black History Month. And speaking of Black History, seems like it's an appropriate time to finally track down your real father. You see, it turns out, that's not just a Jew-fro. For the rest of this week's 'scopes, see here. Redundancy of the Week Did we mention Spang's archived his talk page?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  15:16, Feb 4

[edit] I was wondering

When I type something in Wikia's searchbox, it doesn't show any Uncyclopedia results. Do you know why this is the case? Is it because we don't have ads? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 11:27, 6 February 2010

• I was wondering the the same thing too. DJ Mixerr 23:40, February 8, 2010 (UTC) User:DJ Mixerr

[edit] Hey sannse.

There's a bug- I'm not sure who to report it to, so I came to the local staff woman. It's with recent changes. Even if I select the 500 most recent changes, and set it to the past 30 days, it only shows about 30 results from today, and two results from yesterday. Apologies if I wasn't clear. But thanks in advance. HELPME, I've fallen and I can't get up!/ Talk to me or die!/ My daddy!(ew) 01:24, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, that's not a bug. It's because MrN and RDB have deleted a game which contained over 500 pages. All that is grouped into a huff log entry for each day. So not much other entries are gonna show up. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY 01:35, 8 February 2010

Hey! I've also deleted some of that! ~ 07:03, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Now now 'dillo, can't they have this one? I mean, you did steal their ice cream. HELPME, I've fallen and I can't get up!/ Talk to me or die!/ My daddy!(ew) 07:49, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

So I have. All right then, but just this time. ~ 08:33, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:Sannse"

Category: User admin