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Cartoon Nerd

An artist's representation of me.

...In the beginning, there was something. Something big. Something so freakin' big, it changed society as we know it. This thing was bigger than Metallica's ego; it was so big. It could eat a Star Destroyer as if it was a triscut. Mount Everest, apon seeing this big thing, was recorded saying 'Damn. Now THAT's big!' Listen to the talking mountain, people! This thing was FUCKING BIG! But then it died.

edit On an Unrelated Note

Huh? What the hell do you want? Let me guess. You came here to learn a little thing about the maddness that is SaltyKid, or something. What? You are here for that? Oh. Well, ah, [cough] ok then.

So, let's see....

edit The Shit I'm Responsible For


HowTo:Not Give A Shit

The History of The World, Condensed Into One Uncyclopedia Article

UnTunes:Confessions of a Telemarketer

Well, I'm slowly on my way to world domination. Now I just need an Audi and an Academy Award....

edit Various Pornographic Images I Took

Oscar Wilde (cartoon)

Bow down before your master.

The man himself, only as a cartoon. This came from his short-lived cartoon series The Good, the Bad, and the Wild(e). In the series, our Oscar roamed the Wild West with his sidekick Gene Wilder, having showdowns with the gangmembers of the notorious Wild Ones, and enjoying a good Girls Gone Wild flic. Unfortunetly, the audiences got tired of the millions of 'wild' references throughout the show, and haplessly abandoned the cartoon for those meddling kids and their talking dog. The bastards.


I quote it all, and I quote it now!

Oscar Wilde rocking out with gay-lover Freddie Mercury of Queen. Note Brian May's envious glare. Taken from the animated film Oscar Wilde's Wild Adventure.

LEGO gasp

Sex makes BABIES?!!

An innocent LEGO guy whilst surfing the internet stumbles across a certain video regarding two female LEGOs (wait, LEGOs don't have boobs...) and their adventures with a container originally designed to hold drinks. Note the sheer terror/discust/turned-on look in his eyes, content on soon fornicating to the material he just observed. (wait, LEGOs don't even have junk. WHAT'S THE POINT IN LIFE THEN?! (no, I didn't recycle this image from a stop-motion film I did! What are you crazy?!)

C3PO oh my


Poor C-3P0 is always getting into trouble....

However, a certain someone didn't like my additions to his masterpiece article, and dicided to remove my picture. I am currently plotting a hostile takeover. But don't tell him!

Not Good Yoda


He's no match for [LEGO] droidekas!

Freshie prevention

A public service announcement

You better listen to the fuckin' Grissly with the shovel.

Not giving a shit

The guide to life as we know it.

A handy-dandy chart depicting how the quality of one's life is directly proportunal to how one does not give a shit.

Youtube attacks google

A hostile takeover?

Aparently, this parking lot is a very popular place for YouTube videos to be filmed.

edit Non-Uncyclopedian Items I Waste My Time On

To check out some of the random adventures my LEGO collection goes on when it's bored, along with a plethora of other potpourri that marginally passes off as entertainment, check out my YouTube channel:

To take an in-depth look at that goo inside my brain, check out my blog:

To be played like a sucker, go to this site.

To be proclaimed as a lunatic by your neighbors, go outside and proceed to run wildly in circles in your front lawn dressed as an onion, all while singing Arethra Franklin songs.

edit Oh, And One Last Thing From the Desk of SaltyKid

Just because there's a little icon titled 'edit' above my article doesn't mean you can be a douchebag and edit my article! GET YOUR OWN DAMN PROFILE, <insert name here>! And if you do not heed that warning, let me just tell you: I HAVE CONTACTS. (Wait. What do you mean? You sold the grue?! Come on, Stephen. I needed that! I don't care if you needed those two eggs for the brownies! Yeah, they were good, but couldn't you have just gone through the laundry room for quarters or something? Bastard.)

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