From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Umm...I've got nothing. Sorry.
“Wikipedia is the most awful thing to ever exist. Thank God Wikipedia has nothing on us.”
“Wikipedia is edited by Fascists. I think Fascists are immoral and I don't want my children to ever associate with them.”
“Wikipedia is a way of life, if of course by life I mean death, then yeah live it up!”
“Giving misleading information to us, they are.”
(Wild wild wicked) Wikipedia (also spelt "Wikipaedia" and sometimes they get all snooty and use one of these things, "æ" like this:"Wikipædia") is a dangerous parody of Uncyclopedia. Also, Wikipenisia is Uncyclopedia's archenemy, filled with anal nerds like MBisanz. Wikipedia or God is a portmanteau of the words wikid, garden pedia, kipper, pedigree and diaper. Wikipedia is also the Internet's main supplier of swedish pornography. This virtual hell-hole was founded by Barry Manilow, Dale Winton, Mewtwo, Ray Mears' monobrow, an alcoholic moose, a bloke with a beard and a bald bloke with embarrassing glasses.
|W E L C O M E to |
W I K I L A N D
In contrast to Uncyclopedia, which strives to be as fractually accurate as possible, Wikipedia entries occasionally reach consensus, and range from nonsensical to biased and/or subversive, with little or no rememberance of the truth. However, because of its parodic nature, some people find it informative as it reveals a little something about how people think about certain topics, albeit in an ironic sense. A good example of Wikipedia making fun of Uncyclopedia is their page on plagiarism, which has been shamelessly copied nearly word by word from Uncyclopedia's article on plagiarism.
Was Wikipedia Really Before Uncyclopedia?
According to some, Wikipedia is actually a rip-off of Uncyclopedia; instead of informing people of the truth, like Uncyclopedia does, Wikipedia has users just make up a ton of bullshit and pretend it's true. Some people are stupid enough to use Wikipedia for school papers, contrasting the use of a reliable source like Uncyclopedia. The struggle to bring back the truth has gone on for at least a week until anal retentive websites have been restored.
Uncyclopedia has been around since SkyNet teleported an army of machines to 2333 B.C. to spread truth and reason to mankind so it would not have too resort to a nuclear holocaust in the far future. Wikipedia was created in the 20th century, therefore it is indeed after Uncyclopedia. Take that!
The purpose of Wikipedia is to make as many edits as possible. Editors, or players, are graded only on the number of edits they make. Therefore, experienced Wikipedians abstain from adding whole articles, coherent sentences, or even intelligible strings of characters, as this wastes a great deal of time. Scores (or edit counts) are refereed by Wikibureaucrats who eat cheese or by the Wiki Goddess herself: Kate. Wikipedia founder Utmar von Verschell, who came to America under the auspices of Operation Paperclip has been quoted as saying that Wikipedia was originally to be an exercise in historical revisionism, designed to usher in, "a fourth glorious Reich". His plans were thwarted when the site became curiously popular among those who have 'no agenda' and, faced with its undeniable appeal to glasses wearing demi-humans who fear the light of day, he called it a day and took up a lucrative position with Fox News, where he goes on "doing the good work."
- Splitting and rejoining of categories. This method often provides 100s of edits without unnecessarily influencing the content.
- Grammar, spelling and formatting offensives. Properly administered they can yield hundreds of the coveted one character edits. Not to be attempted by novices.
- Turning otherwise ordinary words into unnecessary links at random to ensure it's as difficult to read as possible. (See Page Full Of Links)
- Redundancy. Stating the same information over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
- Lengthy discussions of obvious topics (under the head request for comment). These are, however, seen as a last resort, since a paragraph of nonsense or repetitions will still take ages compared to more efficient ways.
- Deleting profiles of non-US nationals on grounds of notability; who the hell cares who "Winston Churchill" was, he sure as shit hasn't been on MTV.
- Redundancy. Stating the same information over and over.
- To get as many uncreditable sources as possible and have other users back them up.
- Win arguments by editing your opponent's references, then claiming he has no source.
- Being competitively redundant.
- To cite articles that don't exist 
- Deleting whole sections of an article, then pasting it back and claiming it as your own
- To get 3 reverts before competing editors do so that they can't revert it anymore.
Stands for 'nother point of view. This means that every visitor is urged to add another, incompatible and highly exotic point of view. Also highly recommended are extensive discussions of word definition. But, beware to cite the usual (common usage) definition! This is generally considered chickening at WP; instead assume the contrary of this definition and by ways of extended subordinate clauses and historic trivia (this use was first reported in Western Tasmania on a note that allegedly the first mayor of Hogarth Ridge, Joe Doe issued on occasion of the Hogarth Spring Sweeping).
In December 2005, John Siegenthaler was outraged to discover that the Wikipedia article on Web comics was 100% factually accurate, and had spurred neither edit wars, nor votes for deletion, nor requests for arbitration. Furthermore, he found that not a single contributor to the article ended up whining on their LiveJournal about how the entire Wikipedia community was out to get them. Siegenthaler immediately published a Wikipedia exposé in the respected daily Der Stürmer, causing frenzied media debate about the continued satirical value of the encyclopedia. In response, Jimbo decreed that henceforth people could neither create nor edit articles unless they had medical or judicial proof of insanity. As Wikipedia continues to grow, such controversies will only continue. Despite the diligent efforts of the Wikipedians, it becomes increasingly difficult to ensure that accuracy, objectivity and non-libelous claims do not find their way into Wikipedia.
Another widely Use, is to play "The fastest Wikipedia"; is a game created by a strange-looking guy named Adam P. Beaver; which is played by 2 or more players, it begins defining a "start" and a "goal" frequently something that has nothing to do with the other; for example: "cats" and "space"; so the purpose of the game, is to go to aticle by article, by only clicking the links; you can't use the keyboard only the mouse, the player who has the goal article in less time, Wins.
The Constitution of WP is one of the easiest of any constituency; it is comparable to The Bremen Town Musicians.
The bottom tier is the donkey. All the nameless users putting in their favourite hobby, town, musician, or area of learning.
Next is the dog. They are the regular users with a page about themselves, versed in the art of editing, able to find the many corners and pages, aware of the rule of "Thou shalt not edit more than thrice".
The following, (fittingly cats) are the officials, nobles, wise men, fearless knights, and ministers. Aware of the "Way", they have fought many a battle against rogues, vandals, POV pushers or trolls.
On top of all is someone known by the name Jimbo (or his eminence, King Jimbo I of Wikiland), the cock-on-top of the pyramid. He has, justified by the Divine Right of Kings, adopted the official name of
|We, Jimbo the First, by the grace of Ayn Rand, Emperor of Wikiland; King of Wikimedia, Wiktionary, Wikisource, Wikibooks, Wikiversity, Wikinews, Wikispecies, and Commons; Archduke of Meta-Wiki; Duke of the German, French, Japanese, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Dutch Wikipedia; Grand Duke of Meta-Wiki; Prince of Swedish WP; Margrave of Dansk WP; Duke of Catalan, Frisian, Korean, Serbian and Czech, Russian and Ukrainian, Frisian, and Icelandic WP; Prince of the Mailing-list and IRC channel; Princely Count of Walloon, Tartar, and Esperanto and of the Klingon; Queen of England; and Margrave of Latin and Greek Wikis, some times quoted shortly as His most Neutral Highness|
“It is not worth even glancing at.”
Articles in Wikipedia are often deleted with a clever and witty message attached. These "joke deletions" are a fun activity that users play towards each other- whomever writes the cleverest message gets to delete someone else's article, and the author of said article checks up on it only to find it removed, and promptly dies in various fits of laughter. These colloquial sayings are known as "isnotisms," and are presented in the following format:
- Wikipedia is not a loving father or mother.
- Wikipedia is not a crystal ball.
- Wikipedia is not a cookbook.
- Wikipedia is not Google.
- Wikipedia Does not rule the World (yet)
- Wikipedia is not The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
- Wikipedia is not an image repository.
- Wikipedia is not a place for master debaters.
- Wikipedia is not a place for Schoolcruft .
- Wikipedia is not God.
- Wikipedia is not Weegee approved.
- Wikipedia is not Free (They lied to you!!!)
- Wikipedia is not a dating service (normally).
- Wikipedia is not a land of milk and honey.
- Wikipedia is not valid reference material.
- Wikipedia is not a place for gossip (unless said gossip has been published in a magazine or newspaper).
- Wikipedia is not above plagiarising.
- Wikipedia is not involved in the Watergate scandal (Yeah, sure ...)
- Wikipedia is not to be used under the influence of alcohol. Of course, no one ever listens.
- Wikipedia is not a place for the spinning of meat.
- Wikipedia will not do your homework for you (The so-called experts of Wikipedia will)
- Wikipedia does not owe you money. They think you owe it money. You do not, unless you are an incompetent fool.
- Wikipedia is not where babies come from.
- Wikipedia is not a place where joke gets you!
- Wikipedia is not the creator of AIDS.
- Wikipedia is not the reason you are weird, or nerdy.
- Wikipedia does not bring all the girls to the yard.
- Wikipedia did not cause 9/11.
- Wikipedia did not put a man on the moon.
- Wikipedia is not the centre of the universe.
- Wikipedia will not give you a girlfriend.
- Wikipedia is not the inventor of porn.
- Wikipedia is not not a bad source of information.
- Wikipedia does not touch the parts of the body other beers can't touch. It will flirt with you, however.
- Some users such as Protonk suck.
- Wikipedia does not give you a blowjob.
- Wikipedia is not behind Al Quaeda, but it is the evil bastard child of Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.
- Wikipedia is not the number one cause of suicide in the United States.
- AAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAA AAAA AAA AAAAAA AAAA
- Wikipedia is not your friend. It is your enemy
- Wikipedia did not let the dogs out
- Wikipedia is not thinking about you right now while masturbating
- Wikipedia is not fun
- Wikipedia is not not full of BULLSHIT which is being added at the same rate that it is being removed.
- Wikipedia is not a Beach Ball
- Wikipedia is not affected by the same issues as Dell computers
- Wikipedia is not a useful genre of alarm clock (But does make a good tasty Pie when printed!)
Screenwriter Diablo Cody and composer Andrew Lloyd-Webber are currently working on a script for a musical film adaptation of Wikipedia called Wikipedia, The Movie! The first few lines of this movie were leaked online, much to wikipedia's outrage, even though it was on wikipedia that they were leaked. The start of the movie is shot entirely as a snuff film, as Wikipedia are assholes. There is no nudity in the movie at all.
I want you!
To join the Uncyclopedia Defense Force. Every day thousands of people go to wikipedia when they could have one hell of a time and get their accurate information in uncyclopedia. Volunteer to become a spammer or troll to destroy wikipedia. Get a huge paycheck for your work or women with big boobs as reward. -results may vary-
- ↑ Turtmuch, Willy, 1759. "Ye Olde and moste splendiferous guide to finding 'proofe apparent' for thynges what is obviously and blaytantley just a bigge bagge of bollockes, or perhappes a steamynge sacke of Donkeye shyte." Oxford University Press (Out of Print).
- Unsexopedia - A new website similar to Wikipedia but much better
- The Un-Wiki War
- Wikipedia Article
- The Life and Death of a Template
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