User:Saberwolf116/Talk Archive 2

Rapey rape rap!

You got raped. Like a little sissy. :P you're officially initiated BTW. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 02:40 24 May 2009

Bout' damn time. I archived this things hours ago. Saberwolf116 02:41, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, that just means no one likes you. I'm just desperate, for the record. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 02:42 24 May 2009

My talk page is a girl, by the way... Saberwolf116 02:42, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah and I tore her arse up right good. It was bleeding and she was squealing and everything. Oh god, where did that come from? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 02:44 24 May 2009

I thought you were gay... Saberwolf116 02:46, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Also, it's Ass, not Arse. Saberwolf116 02:46, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Me, dear, gay dear, no dear. Fucking faggot American faggot. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 02:47 24 May 2009

Try to get your thoughts squared away, and in the center of your head. Saberwolf116 02:50, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

You, Pal, are the one that needs to queare away your thoughts. Fucking call me a fairy will ya? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 02:53 24 May 2009

You, pal, are the one who needs to stop acting really friendly and like a douche at the same time. One or the other, please- it's confusing. Saberwolf116 02:54, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Sorry It's just I'd really like to piss in your mouth and dump your corpse in the river. I get confused! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 03:00 24 May 2009

I see. Well, if you don't mind, i'd like to finish up my Pee Review and get back to Half-Life 2. Thanks for the rape- see you in court! Saberwolf116 03:01, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

First Thanks of the New Order

For reviewing UnNews:Madonna to Adopt Susan Boyle. Your comments are (on balance) flattering and your criticisms are well taken. Note that I am addicted to comments by spokespersons of the Russian School of Ballet. I tried it once when I was bored (I was running with a bad crowd then) and I became addicted. It has cost me my job, my health and rejection by my family. But I can't stop. Also, it is my signature. It stays. In all my UnNews articles. Well, ever since I became addicted, anyway.

And thank you for noticing that my spelling is perfect (in the style of the British Empire). If you do ever find a spelling mistake in one of my writings, kindly refer to it as a typographical error. If you think that you have found a grammatical error, prepare yourself for a duel to the death.

I am sorry to bring down the tone of your talk page. The expectations raised by the section above are hard to live up to. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Pieface (talk • contribs)

No problem. I'm glad I could help with the article. Saberwolf116 13:13, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanx.

Thanks for your review of L33t Nonsense. I'll rewrite it in the style of someone who hates l33t. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by DoNotWant (talk • contribs)

VFD

The remark I gave on VFH voting goes the same for VFD. You don't need to respond after each and every keep vote, people can and will have a different taste than yours. ~ 08:36, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Sorry if I stepped out of line there; i'm just curious what people find redeemable in the crap I nominate. Saberwolf116 14:29, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Could you nominate me for VFD? I want to see what people find redeemable with me. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:34, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

No thanks; Mordillo got pretty pissed at Colin for nomming crablogger. Rule of Thumb: Never piss of a Jew. Saberwolf116 14:35, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, good ole Crablogger. One of my favorite users ever. But why must you forsake my joke request Mista Saberwolf, suh? Takin Mordillo's side ova mine. Oh that rascal. I'll get 'em tuh our side, suh, an then I'll show 'em. I'll show all of 'em. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:41, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

You never know what Mordillo will do if you piss him off... I remember this one guy... Saberwolf116 14:42, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh man, that one guy was SOOOO overrated. But when he blocked that other guy... Oh man, that was some good times. Still, that nasty More Dillo don't get me down none, no siree bob. Imma stand up to 'em, and show em the ole one-two. He'll know what's what, that he will. No one's ever stood up to Mr. Art Jabberwocky and Mr. Lance Lafferty. Not once, and he aint got no chane neither! Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:49, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

I take it that's some cultural reference that goes over my head. I hate when people do that... Saberwolf116 14:51, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

I wish I was good enough to do odd cultural references like that. I just thought those names sounded Neato, so I ran with them. Kind of like I ran with the olde southern way of speaking. It just felt right at the time. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:55, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

That's what I thought when I dun gone' and seen me that dead body. Teddy and Vern weren't none the same after we gone seen that dead body. Saberwolf116 14:57, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

/me checks to see if I need to sharpen my banhammer. ~ 14:58, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Aww, what did I do this time? Saberwolf116 14:59, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Who sharpens a hammer? What is the thought process there? "Thank god this hammer can cut straight through all these nails I guess I didn't want." Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:02, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

What do you mean Who sharpens a hammer? He who wants sharp hammers of course! ~ 16:45, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

What was that? I couldn't hear you over the noise I'm making trying to give all of my knives these blunt sections at the top. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:51, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

While you two were yapping away, I finished my review for today. Whatcha think? Saberwolf116 17:24, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks thank tank!!!

I have to thank you all again Because you voted for my page about my Nursery to get featured on the front page of the internet and that’s really awesome because Mummy got me a new toy! Although she did tell me never to pee in the sandpit again.

~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 08:35 27 May 2009

Yay! :) Saberwolf116 13:34, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Review table

Can't you just leave it? You made a mistake by not getting the joke and then bassically blanked the autor entirely. I think this should count against you, I have more experiance around peeing, don't forget. Don't revert me again. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:05 27 May 2009

I know, i'm not saying you don't, all i'm saying is that if this wasn't counted, why should my "review" be put on there? Saberwolf116 21:41, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Because the article was huffed. The article you reviewed wasn't. Granted it would be hard to spin out a full length review for an article that was pretty much perfect as it was but Hyper managed it with a really short article. There was advice to be given for The Emperor's New Clothes and you didn't give any. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 05:13 28 May 2009

QVFD/Ban Patrol

Please put your posts on the top, not the bottom, thanks:)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:32, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Alright, i'll put em' on top next time. Saberwolf116 21:40, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Cool:)--Sycamore (Talk) 21:42, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for reviewing my article.

I didn't even know it had been deleted or anything... Or I had been banned... Damn. Oh well. I'll be back on Uncyclo in true and full-force Monday. I've just been busy trying to get some... Too much info? Keep up the awesome reviewing. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:46, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

I take that back, seeing you tried to REPLACE ME!!! WITH SOCKY!!! Douche. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:46, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

I assumed you were gone n' stuff. I was just throwing around ideas anyhow; you were one of 4 users to GTFO without warning. Rest assured, I haven't forgotten about you- check your VFD list, hmm? Saberwolf116 03:54, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks so much.

Thanks for voting for my article, Dear Diary. And do rest assured that I am not a violent or vindictive person, and that voting no would have in no way resulted in me abusing my administrative powers to crush you like a grape. ~ Todd Lyons

...and again for the review, of course.  :) --T. (talk) 11:14, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

This is not an exit Saberwolf116 12:55, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

SaberSig

Do you ever plan on changing it? In my opinion, an established(ish) member like yourself should have something other than the default. Personally, I like flashy arrogant sigs, but that's me. Don Puttano cHeDDs 19:19,28May,2009

Maybe he is being flashy. Everyone else has a personalized sig. He thinks he's so good, he doesn't even need one. I didn't know how cocky you were Saber. *shakes head in disapointment* Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:29, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

The truth is, i'm too lazy to make one. So I leave the default in protest of my laziness...if that makes sense. Saberwolf116 21:02, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Please, do something. At least change the color or add a link to your talkpage. I hate default. Don Puttano cHeDDs 01:59,29May,2009

And I hate when people tell me what to do. It's default; it's easy to use and simple, so you don't have to click a bunch of links to get to someone's userpage. Plus, like I said, i'm too lazy to make a custom one. Yeah. Saberwolf116 02:01, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Can I make one? Like, at least a diff color? Don Puttano cHeDDs 02:04,29May,2009

Sorry, no. I really don't want a sig; for some reason, it always pisses me off when I see users with fancy schmancy ones- I guess i'm sigaphobic. I'll be using the default until I feel like doing otherwise; consider it my trademark. Saberwolf116 02:06, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

There are like 90 other people using the default sig, so it's not much of a trademark. But okay, I'll leave it alone. Maybe I'll go bother someone else about it. THE FANCIEST SCHMANCIEST SIG EVER!!! --> Don Puttano cHeDDs 02:09,29May,2009

I think the "trademark" is that everyone tries to impress with their sig, whereas I don't care about mine at all. Yeah. Saberwolf116 02:11, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

I care. At Wikipedia, they aren't allowed to have cool looking sigs. They all have to be boring and blue. Cool sigs are a punch in the face for the Wiki-bastards. Don Puttano cHeDDs 02:14,29May,2009

I don't hate Wikipedia, so I don't really care. Tell ya what: you can make a sig for me here, but I can't guarantee i'll use it. You can mess around with you want, but I might not end up doing anything with it- I enjoy my default, but I just want to see what it might look like. Saberwolf116 02:18, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Will do. Don Puttano cHeDDs 02:24,29May,2009

I don't know a lot about you, other than the fact that you review the shit outta everything. But it's a start. Don Puttano cHeDDs 02:37,29May,2009

Hmm...ok, lemme think about it over night. Could you make the first part blue and the "116" red? Lemme take a look at it in the morning, and i'll see if I want to use it. Thanks for the help! Saberwolf116 04:17, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! May 28th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

May 28th, 2009 • Issue 49 • The kind of news your momma warned you about

Going Portal by UU Under conditions of great secrecy, a select group of talented volunteers has been slaving away at the wiki-coalface, dedicating themselves to the selfless task of bringing Uncyclopedia a dedicated selection of portal pages. And now their tireless efforts are starting to bear fruit, with the first few being linked on the Main Page by noted twirly star of David, Mordillo. He proudly flagged them up as "new!", until Bradaphraser, more accurately understanding the IQ of the average Uncyclopedian, flagged then as "newd!" instead. What, some of you may ask, are portal pages? Well, rather than have us explain it laboriously for you (because that sounds like, you know, effort), why not take a look at the following highly sexy portals: Politics; Games; Science; History and Art. And with more to come including the intriguing concept of a Quaint portal from Cajek, one thing's for sure: there has recently been an increase in the number of portals on Uncyclopedia. What? Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia! by Docile hippopotamus Actually, Nile and Nile related articles are not invading Uncyclopedia - we merely wanted to say that to see if you, the reader, were gullible enough to believe it. And you were. More like, "Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia hoax!" Let's find out what Sir Edward Mahm00shA, professor of Egyptian history and archaeology at Oxford university exclusively had to say about this: "It is a lie. And Ra saw it was no good. And the band is with me. And they hath uttered not a word about invading Uncyclopedia. Verily! Ra hacketh off the phallus of he who lieth". See now? Undeniable proof from Sir Edward Mahm00shA that the band is chilling with him and have not even mentioned invading Uncyclopedia. We also asked the wealthy Egyptian and Babylonian antique collector Mr. Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar the 1st to comment and he exclusively replied: "Nile doesn't have any power. Now the Tigris-Euphrates, that's a different story". Not only does this tell us that the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists are cooler than Nile conspiracists, but that Nile could not invade Uncyclopedia even if they wanted to, and you should be afraid of the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists - very afraid. To sum it up, there is no Nile and Nile related articles invasion of Uncyclopedia, just as there is no cabal.

Check out these pages! A true Uncyc legend returns! Promise to make a vote, the whole vote and nothing but the vote Big audio dynamite From our logs: 19:47, 25 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 88.208.208.132 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yep, you're really trying, I see. Great, keep the laughs coming, Mr. Funny Man.) 09:37, 25 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.146.77.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You meant "make love to me, she dog") 20:43, 24 May 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 41.154.2.5 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Vandalizing articles, smearing dog shit all over Todd Lyons's car, etc.) 10:48, 23 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.211.138.192 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank, I'm running out of insulting ban reasons.) Biopic of the Week Todd Lyons has been on Uncyclopedia forever. No, seriously, he started editing in 2005 - and he's still here! He cut his article writing teeth on Dwight Schultz, and went on to write a further 98 of the buggers, while nailing his first feature with Fecal E.Coli, which started a run of 18.5 front page appearances up to the recent Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters. He's been an admin longer than most of our readership have been users. Put together. And he still has all his own teeth, he tells us! Blatant Filler of the Week This box here, which is blatant padding so the formatting of this issue looks about right. Cajek ban of the Week 22:16, 26 May 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Unacceptable username: ...too few recent bans for my liking....)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

The only newspaper to be delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:15, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

My Article

You reviewed my article so you get a special Tick-mark. It's specially crafted for you, since you reviewed my precious, precious article. Thanks again!

Alternatively, you can take this template --> {{User:Zheliel/Awww|reviewed my article}}. PS I just saw the comment on the article on the Archive, erm :) —The la Zhel 09:36, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Lol, you're welcome. Saberwolf116 15:23, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Bathroom Upgrade!

Superb work, now will you crack on towards getting the Diamond Dumper? --UU - natter 09:03, May 30

Yup. Off to do more pissing! Saberwolf116 14:01, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:45, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

I probably haven't introduced myself yet

Hey Saber! I see your name everywhere, but I just assumed you were a bot someone made to review and make good noms. You review A LOT of shit, #10! I'm always in the market for getting ideas on how to improve UN:PRG or what techniques (relatively new) people use to review articles. Hi, again, and, uh, any statements?   Le Cejak • <14:21 Jun 01, 2009>

Well, hello there Cajek! I dropped you a line on your talk page a while back, and you responded, etc. But yeah, I just enjoy reviewing (I already got my first review this month) and putting stuff on VFD. I don't really write articles because i'm not very good at it, yet I appear to be good at PEEING for some reason. Good to meet you, and please don't leave without warning :( Saberwolf116 14:51, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey mate

Thanks for the nom on Noob of the Month! I feel so impotrant now... I appreciate it, dude! Staircase CUN^t 20:04, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

No problem. You're a welcome addition to Uncyclopedia; we never want the admins to run out of people to ban. Saberwolf116 20:30, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Well they could always ban each other. Staircase CUN^t 20:36, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

I called it! I said like 3 days ago I was gonna nom him. Where's my thank you? Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:07,1June,2009

You made me sad. *sniff* Why?

It's ok, you could re nom me! Well, no, but whatever. Staircase CUN^t 22:09, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Damn edit conflict, why'd you have to go and fix your typo? I did nom you, just look at the page. Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:11,1June,2009

That's enough pointless rambling; my talkpage is getting longer.... Saberwolf116 22:12, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Isn't that the point? That means more archives, which means you're popular. Staircase CUN^t 22:14, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

The more popular I get, the more people I get bugging me to make my sig something other than the default. Saberwolf116 22:15, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Speaking of which... Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:18,1June,2009

Just have someone make you a sig. Staircase CUN^t 22:19, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Ahh yes. I appreciate the work on my sig, but right now, I think i'll stick with the default. I might use it at a later date, yet for some reason, i'm in love with the default. I just can't help it. Saberwolf116 22:20, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

I already made him a sig Steps. That's what the link is for. Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:24,1June,2009

That's what I thought, but originally it was a link to his userpage, not the sig. Staircase CUN^t 22:25, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Tell ya guys what: If I ever fufill my dream of becoming a poopsmith, then i'll get a sig. How's that? Saberwolf116 00:34, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

So in other words, i'll never get one. Saberwolf116 00:44, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

You made me sad. *sniff* Why?

I just got the chance to edit the article you reviewed of mine.

This review you did of this, just in case you forgot.

Well, I did it most of your suggestions. I think the "Conclusion" section is best as it is. Short and to the point. I also tried to make the "Early Childhood" section a bit more comprehensible, but I'm not too sure if I succeeded. It makes prefect sense to me because I'm so familiar with Greek mythology. Also, I didn't notice any punctuation errors, but hey, I could be wrong. After all, I did miss a question on the English portion of my graduation test. Only one, though. Mind fixing it/them for me? And, regarding another picture, I'm afraid if I add another one it'll look severely overcrowded. Really, it's just that I really can't think of a good one. You got an idea? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 04:58, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Sorry I couldn't respond sooner; I was banend. Anyhow, what I said before basically falls in line to that fact that writing penis jokes is very hard to do without sounding stupid. It's been a while, so I guess you could go on what I said in my review. Saberwolf116 13:31, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Pee Review

Sure you can pee review my article Brute. sorry it took me a while to respond--Iwillkillyou333 19:31, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

You'll need to put it up for review first. Saberwolf116 13:32, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

One thing you do better than me on all fronts is being nice to the author. I got fired from my real life job of helping students with essays because I was too blunt! Well, not fired, but I got complaints.   Le Cejak • <20:10 Jun 03, 2009>

I like blunt. Sugar-coating everything doesn't help anyone. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:11, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

I don't like to think I "sugar coat" it, per se, but there's a nice way of letting the bomb drop. I'm a softie, so every time I say something mean to someone I feel like a total jerk. Instead of saying "this is shit go kill yourself you pathetic excuse for an author" I go along the lines of "this isn't very good, but you could make it better by _____". The message gets across either way, and the author is more likely to listen to you if you don't treat them like a SCUM LICKING BAG OF SHIT. Saberwolf116 20:15, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

I have never gotten a review from you, nor have I ever seen one of yours, so sorry if you thought I meant that comment for you. It was more of a blanket statement I placed after randomly stumbling across your talk page. And being blunt and being mean are not always the same thing. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:31, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, being blunt can come off as mean depending on what the author thinks, not on your intention. In that vein, it can turn people off from writing, even when you're trying to be nice but blunt!   Le Cejak • <1:52 Jun 04, 2009>

Yes, I prefer to be nice to the author before I bombard their article with flaws. There's a good critic, and there's a Bad Critic. Saberwolf116 03:17, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Ok its up--Iwillkillyou333 17:28, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Thankies!

"Feeling any pain yet, Mrs. Davis?" Necropaxx is delighted to thank you for your For vote on his recent rewrite, Antbortion. Remember, kids, this is what happened to your would-be brother Jeffy. Go kick your parents for him, why don't you?

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 15:22, Jun 4

It's come quite a way since I saw it on VFD; excellent rewrite. Saberwolf116 21:18, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Brute (Older Version)

Hey Saberwolf, uh, I rewrote a lot of this while it was on VFH, and I may have killed it faster. here's the old version. The old version is like an encyclopedic style article on brutes and it's boring and fanboy-ish as hell. Feel free to go back to that version, though. I don't know WHY I rewrote this... I've only played the first halo. Compare the two versions and you'll see: I wanted to stay off topic as much as possible.   Le Cejak • <22:50 Jun 04, 2009>

Also, it's spelled "Conceived" I before E except after C   Le Cejak • <22:58 Jun 04, 2009>

For your guys' convenience: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Brute (14/50), Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Brute (rewrite) (25/50)   Le Cejak • <23:17 Jun 04, 2009>

Well, no offense, but it wasn't a very good rewrite. Anyways, as evidenced by the page, the author is apparently taking my advice. Saberwolf116 23:25, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Do you at least see where I was coming from? Seriously, compare! The author's not following your advice: he's changing it back to the old article piece by piece exactly.   Le Cejak • <23:30 Jun 04, 2009>

I do, yes, but the author asked me to review the article, and I reviewed what was there. Saberwolf116 23:32, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Yep, you're right. I rewrote it because this article is haunting pee review and, to a lesser extent, vfh.   Le Cejak • <23:34 Jun 04, 2009>

Well, it looks like the author is re-rewriting it. I hope he can make something decent out of it. Saberwolf116 23:35, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

He's changing it back to the fanboy version...   Le Cejak • <23:37 Jun 04, 2009>

*sigh* Oh well, I tried. Saberwolf116 23:38, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

I will try not to go back to the older version, this will be an entirely new version--Iwillkillyou333 02:54, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Self-Delievery!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!

June 4th, 2009 • Issue 50 • I love the smell of news in the morning!

Todd not Lionised by all? By UU Uncyclopedia's long-cherished status as the worst was given a massive fillip this week with the discovery that genial admin Todd Lyons has his own Facebook hate group. This considerable accomplishment has to be considered among the highest praise ever bestowed on an admin of this wiki. Kosher kvetcher Mordillo even opined that it makes him the #1 admin on the wiki, as "even Mhaille doesn't have a hate group!" Lyons himself was deeply touched by the tribute, exclusively telling the USP: "I'm a bit surprised (though not touched, like the WotM nomination this month), because I generally shy away from the snappy/nasty ban summaries that would guarantee me a spot in the UnSignpost. Really, RDB is my #1 pick for this, and richly deserves to have a hate group on Facebook (if not several dozen by now). :) Second, if I had any insecurities that I'd lost my touch with the ban hammer after being on hiatus, they're gone. The arm's feeling great. The surgery seems to have been a 100% success. I'm feeling good that I'll be able to finish out the season and hopefully garner some interest as a bureaucrat when I become a free agent this fall." The group's creator was unavailable for comment, probably due to being banned. Comings and Goings By Gerrycheevers As you may or may not have noticed, there recently seems to be a flurry of returns and hiatuses (hiati?) on this silly wiki that some of us like to call Uncyclopedia. This could be due to a number of things: the end of the school year and thus the end of studying and finals; the summer season causing new and strange emotions in internet comedy writers; the revolving door recently installed at the Uncyclopedia headquarters. Regardless of the reason, those returning have been 'welcomed', and those leaving have been warned that their userpages will be mercilessly vandalized should their vacation extend overly long. Popular aquatic creature user Finnius claims to have returned. His contributions since returning have thus far been limited to announcing his return in the forum (as required by Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435), but the Unsignpost is confident of a return laced with quality pee and other, less pungent useful contributions. The elusive Cajek, a mythical creature once thought to exist only in the surreal dreams of squirrels, has returned gloriously upon the back of a giant squirrel. So at least some part of the myth was true. Take that, science! Other returns include Dexter111344 after a brief hiatus and Gouncyclopedia!, who evaded a years-long block to announce his return in the forums (UB435 again). Perhaps the most noted of all, faithful new dog Dognewspaper returns from a one-month hiatus to appear in this story. Other users have seen a decline or all-out drop-off in their contribution level. SysRq remains on an indefinite hiatus. Gerrycheevers has seen his number of edits dwindle as of late. MrN9000 is still among the missing. Codeine is apparently gone as well, and Necropaxx will be losing his precious internet. We bid these users to hurry back, lest their userpages and works be smited with the hammer of pointless vandalism.

Check out these pages! Image spam Another one bites the dust Admin competence? From our logs: 01:08, 3 June 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.8.59.236 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (So far you've edited the pages 'your mom' and 'school'. Want me to try and guess your age?) 07:46, 2 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.17.189.150 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (bored fuckes should go fuck boards. It's too early in the morning and I can't think of anything smart to say) 20:04, 30 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 174.117.160.23 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Cyberbullying: we don't want to hear about people you know and why you want to suck their dick. I know that's not quite what you said, but something about what you said implied it) 20:38, 29 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Da Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (PLEASE MASSUH WHIP ME, OH MAH GOD, I'M GETTIN' SO HOT, I'LL SUCK YO DICK!!!!!!) Biopic of the Week The very Reverend Zim ulator is the undisputed, acknowledged, and slightly puce master of UnNews. As such, reporting about him in a newspaper may be an act of such metaphysical self-referentialism that it creates a negative feedback loop, destroying the universe, or at least this wiki. But, in the name of bringing Zim's name to our readership, that's a risk we're willing to take. We'd normally link to a bunch of stuff he's done at this point, but just take a look at UnNews - as we mentioned, he's basically the guy who keeps it all tickin'. Rats off to ya, Zim! Old School Featured Article of the Week In a week when Obama is trying to reach out to the Muslim community, perhaps it is an apt time to consider how far he is going to have to reach. Will he ever be able to bridge the gap all the way to the readership of American Fundie Magazine? "The magazine for "True Christians™", was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist", and is just as relevant today as it was way back in 2006. VFD kept article of the week Plan 11 from Outer Space has been referred to as "amusing", "pretty funny" and "hilarious". Go see why people thought it worth having around.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Delievered by Saberwolf116 03:04, 5 June 2009 (UTC). Or myself.

'Ello

How thoughtful of you to ask! Yes - I'm OK, just IRL has been making an assault on my valuable internet time as it so frequently does. Personally I can't wait until we reach a stage in our evolutionary history where I can upload myself to the net and exist soley online, like the Lawnmower Man. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:54, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

Good to see you didn't just leave without warning like other users. Well, here's hoping you'll be able to visit Uncyclopedia some more. Hope you're having a good day in Oceania the UK. Saberwolf116 16:55, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

Do You Like James Joyce and/or Call of Duty 4!?

If so, please give this a look. If not...well...I guess you could still do it if you want to. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:34, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

I like Call of Duty; never heard of James Joyce. I'll give it a shot if I have the time. Saberwolf116 19:26, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the (timely) review. I agree with your "linkage" criticism, though I should mention that the whole "--this is dialog, said Guildy" thing is because that's how Joyce did dialog. I suppose I should place this in the "article written in the style of its subject" thing to make that apparent, so yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:03, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

I'm glad you liked my review; i'm tied with SysRq now =) Saberwolf116 03:04, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

RS Syndrome

I'm gonna completely rewrite that article and make it more understandable to non-RS players. And BTW, about being player mod on RuneScape (you said it on the Pee Review) - something I always wanted to know, do player mods actually have "mute" on their menu when they click a players name? Someone told me they did. The Almighty Hamster6 - {talk}

Actually, we have a right click report abuse option when we click on a player. When we fill out the report abuse template, we have the option to mute a player for 2 days. Saberwolf116 15:56, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

You can add me in-game if you want; my username is the same on Uncyclopedia as it is in RS. Saberwolf116 15:58, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

I see you're reading The Catcher in the Rye

If you liked that, read this stuff. The Catcher in the Rye turns out to be a fictional book written by another character in his short stories, but most people don't know that. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:27, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. Saberwolf116 01:33, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

DH renommed Leprechaun

You gonna vote again? Don Puttano cHeDDs 22:56,10June,2009

I have a feeling Mordillo is gonna take it off; he sort of has a policy of making us wait at least a week before re-nomming something. Saberwolf116 23:01, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh, really? Then maybe it'll have to be re-nommed a week from now. Still, it couldn't hurt. Don Puttano cHeDDs 23:04,10June,2009

Award

How nice. =) Saberwolf116 13:49, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Quick point

Just to say - as you've already seen Mordillo's forum, and you'll probably be keeping an eye on it - while I mention you by name, I'm not trying to single you out, it was just an example that had stuck in my mind. I'm certainly not trying to belittle your contributions (as I also mention in my post, I think good reviewing is a very important part of the writing process), and I do appreciate what you do. I do hold out hope, however, that you might start taking small steps into the murky world of writing, even if they are as tentative as my first ones. If you can spot a good article from a bad one in a review, you can take an abandoned article that needs love and remove the chaff. And then you maybe add a line or two of your own that doesn't suck, and from such tiny seeds, anything can grow. Just think about it, anyway, don't just dismiss the idea out of hand, or I think you may be underestimating your own capabilities! ;-) --UU - natter 18:57, Jun 11

Reviewing:Writing::Walking:Running   Le Cejak • <19:08 Jun 11, 2009>

People always tell me I never give myself credit. That's deep, UU...thanks for the, umm, quick point. Saberwolf116 19:22, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

My point exactly, I'm not hassling you because I think you're doing the wrong thing. I'm hassling you because I think you have a lot of potential. ~ 19:59, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Sup Wolf?

I've noticed your adding the QVFD template to pages listed on QVFD. If I may, allow me to quote from the book of QVFD: "Because of the nature of QuickVFD, you should not add any type of template or notice to the page." While it's probably not a big deal, I just thought I'd let you know. Keep up the good work! -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:25, 11 Jun

Ahh, thanks. I'll refrain from that. Saberwolf116 21:26, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism!

June 11th, 2009 • Issue 51 • Also available in convenient suppository form!

"Uncyclopedia Worst, Boys Smelly" Declares User By Gerrycheevers In a move that shocked the Uncyclopedia community, female user Kamikazewatermelon09 this week posted a topic in the lovable Pancake House of Benson. The shocking part of the incident was that an actual girl visited Uncyclopedia. Hooray! Our numerous virgin users can now cross off 'make contact with a woman (without giving a credit card number) over the internet, phone, or via smoke signal' from the list of steps towards achieving manhood. Though we can't help you with that face-to-face stuff...we hear that genre of contact is terrifying. The content of the post was too lengthy and riddled with cooties for the male, attention span deficient UnSignpost editors to actually read. Furthermore, the UnSignpost Executive Board refuses to add cootie insurance to the UnSignpost employee health plan. However, resident awesome potatochopper and known girl Sonje was recruited to read the message and react as if she had been asked a clever question by a hypothetical handsome UnSignpost reporter. From her exclusive comments, it seems that the topic poster was disappointed in the vulgarity and immaturity displayed by many of our gentlemen users. "I find the crassness rather endearing," Sonje responded, "in moderation." So, the moral of the story is: the users who really count will forgive us our occasional desire to cuss a blue streak or upload some boob-related images. So...go nuts! Cabal Criticism of the Week By: Gerrycheevers This week, lead Cabalist Mordillo blocked The Wizard Of Oz with an expiry time of Judgement Day, and did not provide a reason for the epic pwning. We here at the UnSignpost would like to call out Mordillo on this lack of explanation. Not as a courtesy to the user, which he certainly did not earn through his insertions of a weird version of a California article into several unseeming places. No, we would like to know why Mordillo did not take advantage of an opportunity that was ripe with comedic potential. Surely this poor soul's username could have resulted in a ban reason referencing shiny red shoes or flying monkeys? A statement concerning the location of the user being a place that is not Kansas? We would have settled for a measly 'looking for a brain' line. But instead, you left us hanging, Mordillo. We'd like to officially call you on it, and we take comfort in knowing that though you can ban the editors, and you can ban our freedom, you can never ban the UnSignpost. Though, on second thought, you could delete it.

Check out these pages! Invisible Forum! Happy Birthday Sonic80! Happy Birthday Woody! Happy Birthday Modusoperandi! FREAKING LIAR! From our logs: 15:19, 7 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.192.116.120 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(How To: Fuck off for 3 months) 17:49, 7 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.1.87.74 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(one two fuck you!) 10:00, 8 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.190.33.94 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(comedy website. all football clubs get equal treatment here - ie a merciless slagging. mind you, chelsea really do suck.) Biopic of the Week Of all of the writers enshrined in the Uncyclopedia Hall of Shame, Electrified mocha chinchilla has the highest number of featured articles without having ever been profiled in the UnSignpost. Whoops, not anymore. Anyway, his list of works reads like a what's-what of awesomeness. The entity known as e|m|c also organized and ran several Poo Lit Surprise competitions. Worshipful notes and pie can be sent to his talk page. Retraction of the Week In last week's exceedingly humorous edition of the UnSignpost, we referred to Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435 was requiring all returning users to announce themselves in the forums. This is actually Bylaw #453. We apologize for the mistake, and also from the confusion resulting from the real Bylaw #435, which states that every 94 days a user's dog must be sacrificed to the Rancor. Sorry Led, and get well Fluffy! This Week in Uncyc, 1215 The Magna Carta was signed by King John of England, granting certain rights to serfs, peasants, slaves, farmers, and servants. This was immediately parodied in Ye Olde Signeposte, Uncyclopedia's bi-weekly periodical of the time. It was depicted as a document that forced King John to admit he had the power to tax servants, control every aspect of farmer's lives, and shoot serfs in his Royal Preserves for sport.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

I think I'm going crazy. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:44, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

User:Cajek/Pee

Hey Saber, you're still updating the averages for the pro-reviewers, aren't you?   Le Cejak • <17:29 Jun 13, 2009>

Yep, i'm pretty sure I got them all right. If not, you can update them. Saberwolf116 17:30, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

Your Reading Carrie?

That's a good book. Don Puttano cHeDDs 17:38,13June,2009

Yep, and Stephen King's first. Saberwolf116 17:39, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, not his best though. One of them, but the Green Mile was the best. Don Puttano cHeDDs 17:41,13June,2009

Thanks!

For the spiritual WotM nod. Wish you'd been the one to have a look at Billy Graham before it went onto VFH, but... luck of the draw I guess.  :/ Seems to be doing well anyway. --T. (talk) 14:06, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

I suppose so. If I ever get nominated for a second RotM, will you be there? =P Saberwolf116 14:06, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Sure. No-one can fault your work ethic. I haven't thought about RotM because I'm not used to it existing... it's one of those things that was invented while I was away. But I'd be pleased to nom you myself. --T. (talk) 14:39, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Self-yes

I don't mean to be all crumogeny but if you could hold up on checking you're own reviews for a little bit that'd be good. Even UU didn't check his own reviews for a few days (and even then he normally asked the person he reviewed for if tehy thought it was good). I mean, you're probably doing fine and everything it's just good to let others look first, ok? I mean I could check yours even.    Orian57    Talk   17:39 14 June 2009

If you want to, you can go ahead and re-check them. I won't check any of mine anymore. Saberwolf116 17:46, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

I probably won't bother but, yeah from now on just leave them and I'll get them in time. I'm just saying because back when I was your age there were none of this sel-yupping all over the list. We had respect.    Orian57    Talk   17:52 14 June 2009

I see. Well, the only reason I self-yes is because it takes people a long time to get to updating the list, and i'm very impatient. But yes, i'll wait. Saberwolf116 17:55, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank you Mr. Saberywolfmanperson

Thank you ... ... for supporting my recently featured picture. A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed in your honour. - Sonje

--^Dame 17:58, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Yes. I am half man, half wolf. Saberwolf116 18:02, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Which half? --^Dame 18:08, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Bottom wolf, top human. I also have super powers. Saberwolf116 18:12, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Let it never be said that you suffer from delusions of grandeur :P --^Dame 18:16, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Naw. I'm just your average 14-year old modest American dude. Saberwolf116 18:17, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Well despite your self-proclaimed averageness, you do good work around here, and a belated congrats on the RoTM award. --^Dame 18:25, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. I might even decide to write one of these days, if I learn how. Saberwolf116 18:26, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Thats great! I'm planning to attempt that very thing soon. I'm sure everyone here would be happy to guide your writing foray. Let me know if you need imagery assistance when you do decide to write. --^Dame 18:31, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Will do. It'll be tough to balance maintaining Pee Review, writing a review each day and writing, but i'll manage...somehow. Saberwolf116 18:36, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Just become a chick. We multi-task well. Or so I am told... --^Dame 18:41, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Become a chick? That's about as likely as me getting one. >.< Saberwolf116 18:42, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

Sonje, if chicks multi-task well, why have you yet to write an article? And you 2 should write together. ya know, put a reviewer and a 'shopper together to make a writer. See how that works out. Don Puttano cHeDDs 21:55,14June,2009

There y'go

Hope the review gives you plenty to work with - I enjoyed it! Now, I wonder if you could return a small favour? I'd like you to do a drive-by on this (have you seen me do drive-bys? just add a second opinion at the bottom of the page, nothing too in-depth). I honestly think that's a bit of a harsh review, but I could be a little biased because it's my n00b, so I wondered if you could take a squint and add a comment or two? I'd appreciate it. --UU - natter 21:25, Jun 15

I appreciate the review; i'll adjust the article accordingly. And sure, I can do a brief fly-by. Saberwolf116 21:27, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Timeline

I like the idea; that does all suck. I'll rewrite the whole list myself at some point fairly soon. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:13, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

It doesn't have to be just you; you could spam the talk pages of Der Unwehr members encouraging them to participate. I say we start with the 2000-2099; make an announcement on the forums or somesuch. Saberwolf116 22:16, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Gotcha. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:08, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Why don't you tackle the timeline yourself? If I'm not mistaken, you still have yet to write a full article of your own, and I think something like this would be an ideal starting point for you. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:33, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I have written one, and it's on VFH. But yes, i'll get rid of the unfunny if I have the time. And since this is my own talk page, and hence not technically whoring, VOTE FOR MY ARTICLE ON VFH! Saberwolf116 22:34, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Template spam

The Narrator Would like to thank you all... For voting on his rendition of Snow White. "It’s a fine story. Has everything a child needs to learn about the universe and it’s capricious, unfair ways."

   Orian57    Talk   16:14 17 June 2009

You Know What That Means, Right?

After that shitty page is abandoned, I can come in, rewrite it, and get Unwehr credit. It should be called Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, anyway. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:09, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Good luck with that. Also, how come you never respond on your talk page, always on someone elses? Saberwolf116 16:11, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

I dunno. Habit, I guess. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:28, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

I bring offerings of triple chocolate muffins

	Rejoice, Saberwolf116! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award
	For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Thank you, that one single comment on my article's second review was worth more than the "review" above it. You deserve great thanks. -- Little Pink Sock 21:50, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Aww, thanks =) UU asked me to do a fly-by, and it seemed that you didn't get much help from the above review, so I thought i'd help. Saberwolf116 21:53, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

I got slightly less respect for that whole review process after that reviewer got to my article before Orian who I asked to do it got to it. Cajec gave me a decent review, but I'd have wanted to get a non-biased score for the next one, so I'd know what to improve. To be honest, the only idea worth immediate application required me to spot your comment there just a few minutes ago. I was trying to find something positive about that review, was snickering at how they're criticising me for my punctuation habits, which I know are slightly deviant from "the official correct", but bring more of a fluency to the text I'm writing. The snickering was caused by their own raping of English spelling and grammar. Anyway, to return to what little point I was making, I only now noticed your suggestion today, since it was below that "review" and I was too angry to notice it. Can you leave comments like that on my talk page in the future, since I can't find them hidden like that? I might of course just be inexperienced on this site. I did some tweaks to the article, like switched to your suggested picture and gave the formatting a revamp, any "fly-by" comments about that? -- Little Pink Sock 22:06, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

If you wanted to, i'd be more than happy to do a full review for you. Saberwolf116 22:07, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

That would be so kind! UU keeps telling me it's good writing with great potential, Cajec says it's good but needs work, I'd like to see someone give me a realistic score, since I think I lost all hope for that reviewer's abilities to show any good judgement. Maybe I'm just tired, it seems to be my status quo. -- Little Pink Sock 22:11, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Well I could make an exception and do 2 reviews instead of my normal one today; if you submit it to PR i'll have a look at it ASAP =) Saberwolf116 22:12, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank you! I'll do it right away, so "heads up". -- Little Pink Sock 22:16, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Yo

come on my page really isnt that shitty is it? Besides it's my first article.--Yeahright 04:36, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

It's fine, just not as good as some of Guildy's. Saberwolf116 13:00, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

RE: Flag thingy

Remember a few days ago you made a flag icon for the LGBT one, could you do the same for the one currently in my sig? Oh but if you could upload it under a different name that would be good becuase I use that file in my header on my userpgae and a tiny version wouldn't work the same there. Thanks!    Orian57    Talk   08:57 19 June 2009

I'll see what I can do. Saberwolf116 12:59, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

signpost article

thanks for the article, i've put in this week's signpost, set to arrive sometime today! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:40, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

W00t! Saberwolf116 14:41, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! June 18th/19th!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now with 20% more ninjas!

June 18th, 2009 • Issue 52 • Thinly sliced news, between two slices of humor, with lettuce and hollandaise sauce

Votes for Sandwiches Officially Opens By Gerrycheevers This week, Votes for Sandwiches was established by Uncyclopedia Internetist and Lead Executive of Sandwiches, Spang. Previously some sort of secret cabal hazing page, lead cabalists have thrown the doors of VFS open to reveal thinly sliced meats on a variety of breads. Or they would have, if the cabal existed, which it doesn't. Official Cabal Spokesman Mordillo exclusively explained the new feature best: "The cabal, as part of its never-ending efforts to assert its all-consuming control over the citizenry, has now introduced voting for sandwiches. Each editor will be required to eat the elected sandwiches for the entire following month. Members of the cabal will closely observe voter's decisions to make sure that no vile sandwiches, such as BAKED BEANS ON TOAST WITH MELTED CHEESE, will be chosen. That's just vile. Editors will not be allowed to protest over the "democratically" "chosen" "sandwich". We're not Iran." Reactions to the new voting page were mixed. Some users were excited for the opportunity to express their fondness towards various lunches, provided that those lunches are a sandwich. "I'm glad that sandwiches, a comedy staple due to their low-priced nature and assembly so simple that even a writer can construct one, are finally getting their due on Uncyclopedia," said resident criminology term Modusoperandi. Others were not so supportive of the move, and point to recent disturbing trends since the introduction of VFS, the most disturbing being the raiding of the fridge in the Uncyclopedia break room and the subsequent theft of all sandwiches. Well, maybe not all sandwiches, but one specifically marked "gerry's. do not eat." So far no group has claimed responsibility for this act of sandwich-related terrorism. I will find you, you little punk! And when I do, you're making me another sandwich! Comebacks! Only $19.95! Call Now! By: Saberwolf116 Following a month and a half hiatus, resident VFD overlord and prince of pants MrN9000 is alleged to have returned to the wiki. According to reliable sources, MrN was spotted responding to his talk page and maintaining QVFD, among various other tasks. What other things he may do remains to be seen. We do know, however, that he has been welcomed warmly by the community, with Mordillo giving him the brand new nickname "fucker" and various users bestowing an award of reliability on him. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Call Now And Get 2 for the Price Of 1! By: Gerrycheevers Following in MrN's robotically symmetrical footsteps was noted keyboard component SysRq. After many weeks of inactivity, Sys has returned to once again putter the Imperial Colonization ship around Uncyclopedia Harbor. He has described his goals as "re-assimilate as best I can" and "Go to hell, Dex". We would like to welcome both of these users back to the loving Uncyclopedia family, and urge them to GET BACK TO WORK!! Things Brewing In IRC By Sockpuppet of an unregistered user People are yelling at each other, stalking each other, and randomly talking to one another. What I am talking about is, of course, IRC, the highly controversial melting pot of Uncyclopedia, where users of all stands, races, and levels of activity can talk about unimportant issues. It has recently come to our attention that ruthless battles were being fought on the fields of IRC. Our correspondent decided to check things out for himself. He was confronted with gay dinosaurs, Star Wars references and general dickery. Though this one time visit cannot render a clear view of the complex nature of IRC, it might give us a glimpse into the mind of the common IRCer. The dark, mysterious character of IRC remains.

Check out these pages! Release personal details here. Overractions! Slander! Hot Republican Chicks with Guns! Death To Our Enemies, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Illogicopedia. From our logs: 14:37, 11 June 2009 Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) blocked Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a nice stroll in the park ‎(The only edit I can make on this website right now is blocking myself. Woohoo!) 15:42, 12 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for The Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) ‎(Follow the yellow brick road to oblivion! Put on your red shoes and dance! dance! Ackowledge that you're no longer in Kansas, Toto. And yes I am the wicked witch of the west. I have a wart to prove it) 12:11, 16 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.101.164.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎(vandullism - and your cheese looks old and stale anyway. bring me something fresher. and a red onion chutney - let's do this properly) Biopic of the Week Sonje ~ Bursting onto the Uncyclpedia scene in March 2009, this spunky female user already has quite the impressive resume. Her six featured images speak of her monumental potatochopping abilities, and she won consecutive Potatochopper of the Month awards. Yeah, that's right. Consecutive. We look forward to many more expertly manipulated images and other general awesomery from Sonje in the months to come. Old School Featured Article of the Week Continuing in the vaguely sandwich-related theme, Sausage Butty Batter Nuggets are a staple of English cuisine. With a complicated recipe that often leads to dangerous and/or hilarious consequences, this food is nevertheless a highly desirable meal for any self-respecting gentleman or lady in England, and is often served at croquet competitions and monocle-wearing contests. Pictured at right is the extra-crunchy West Country variety. This Week in Uncyc, 3500 BC The Great Pyramids of Giza, one of the greatest technological and engineering feats in human history, was parodied in the monthly Uncyclopedia newsletter Bird, Bird, Crocodile, Man With Dog Face, Bird, which was painstakingly written on papyrus reeds by dozens of slaves. In the periodical, the Pyramids were described as "just okay", and were depicted as a stepping stone to grander projects such as Great Cubes and perhaps even a Great Octagonal Prism. Reason to Leave Uncyclopedia of the Week #12: Space issues. With so many users returning, and Cajek refusing to grant access to the Cajek Mansion (which takes up over 60% of all Uncyclopedia's property), there just isn't enough room for us all.

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You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:31, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

You did some good reviews for me a while ago

	Rejoice, Saberwolf116! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award
	For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

So here ya go. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:24, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Thank you very much, dearest sock. =) Saberwolf116 22:50, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Pee Review

Mind doing a pee review for me. Its an UnNews.--Iwillkillyou333 23:35, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Hmm. My UnNews ones can sometimes be a bit week, but i'll see if I can get on it later tonight. Saberwolf116 00:02, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Ok its this One--Iwillkillyou333 01:22, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Schpecklin of the peeing Peesmith, you listed my last Pee in the with proles; I'm a Steel Kidney. Well done on the feature too, sorry I never got a chance to vote on it. IronLung 02:46, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for telling me, i'll get right on it. Saberwolf116 03:00, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Jesus!

Thank you very much. That review was exactly what I was looking for. I think I will probably try and stick to Jesus just talking about the happenings of his life time, and not branch out to other parts of the bible (as you say, there are almost too many possibilities there. However, I think I will use parenthesis like I am now to add more short little quips about things outside of his life, as I did with Lot, and I think one other place. A quip about homosexuality is a terrific idea in fact.) So there is definitely some expansion there. I agree it needs to be longer too. I had left it the size it is because I am afraid that people who don't know much about the bible and its stories might feel lost, and not get it all, but who cares? There are too many chances for more humor in here to leave them out. I really like adding a section about water-into-wine. Good idea.

I do disagree with you on one thing though. I know it's a little bit of a personal choice, but I like red links. Being that this is a wiki, I think red links serve a good purpose; getting people to write things that do not exist. I think I have three in there right now. One is to I am that I am which I'm using as a shout out to Moses/the burning bush.... Not so much expecting anyone to write that article, but I think it's a nice touch. The other two are links to articles that I think need to be written. Body Odor and Arthritis are two pretty well known things, and I am surprised we don't have articles on them. After seeing they are red, I've even thought about writing them. So, I'm using those as things that people might see, and write. Now, I've always wondered why people hate red links so much.... Is it that they are an eyesore? They are kind of an eyesore. What if all red links were green? That wouldn't be so much of an eyesore anymore. But I am getting off topic. Do you know why people hate red links so much? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 03:40, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

I guess they just look kind of strange. You can color a red link to look blue, but i'm not sure how. Ask Socky. Saberwolf116 04:19, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh, I can do it. Maybe not well, but I can do it. I was just wondering if there was anything behind it, other than the aesthetically pleasing part. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 04:25, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

I'm not really sure; i'm not too knowledgable in wikicode. Anyways, i'm gonna turn in for the night and wait for UU to give me my Diamond Dumper award tomorrow =) Saberwolf116 04:56, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Diamonds are forever, forever...

You earned this.

And this. --UU - natter 11:42, Jun 24

I'm so awesome. Saberwolf116 13:59, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

And I am proud I could be your diamond dump. Hey UU, can I get an award for that? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:23, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey Mulder!

Get to raping aliens or whatever it is you and Skully do! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:23, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Wrong talk page? Saberwolf116 16:41, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Nope. Now where the hell is that Agent Skully? Someone owes me a handjob! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:45, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Sorry Dexter, but I don't really find your random sex jokes funny. Go spam Socky or something. Saberwolf116 16:46, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

*sigh* Worst 100 Reflections on 2009. #75 The President of Iran WOODY! DeathLife? to the infidels! Go USA? 16:57, 24 June 2009 (UTC)